10 Sure Fire Ways to Build / Regain Self Confidence (Tips on regaining your confidence after divorce)

Member Name: Jennifer73

Product:	Tips on regaining your confidence after divorce
Date:	11/03/09 (136 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Tips by a Life Coach

Disadvantages: None

I came across this category and was interested enough to put forward my top tips for building confidence.


I have never been married, therefore never been divorced though I have been through a number of break ups, so do have lots of empathy with those that have gone through this.


Over the last few years, I have trained as a Life Coach and now work in this field.


I am hugely into self development and since 2006 have digested loads of books on building self confidence, attended a number of self development courses, have been coached myself and have worked with over 100 clients.


I have loads of ideas on building and regaining self confidence, in any situation - including after divorce, so thought I would share these with interested readers.


Please note that these also feature on my website, my blog and have also been submitted to various article distributors on the web.


Here goes:


"If you believe you can, or you believe you can't, you are probably right" Henry Ford.


Self confidence is a state of mind. Anyone can become more confident, it's simply a life skill like any other.


Increased self confidence can help you to achieve whatever you want from your personal and professional life.


When you gain or regain self confidence, the world is no longer a scary place, but is filled with excitement and opportunity.


Why settle for second best? Why not seize life with both hands and achieve the things you really want? What's stopping you from achieving your true potential?


Success breeds success and you will see positive changes in a very short space of time. As your confidence grows, you will want to stretch yourself and see just how far you can go.


One point to remember is that nobody in the world is 100% confident, 100% of the time - everyone sometimes doubts their confidence to some extent, but there are ways to overcome this and improve self confidence.


Here are my suggestions:


10 Sure Fire Ways to Build / Regain Self Confidence


1 - Work out where your confidence levels are in various areas of your life taht have been impacted by your divorce:

Here are a few suggested areas, though feel free to adopt new ones or disregard any of these:

-social confidence
-confidence in relationships
-financial confidence
-career confidence
-confidence in self to make decisions
-confidence in looks
- confidence raising children alone ..... etc.


Score these on a scale of 1 - 10, where 1 is very little confidence and 10 is very confident and keep a note of the date that you do this.


2 - In your own mind what area or areas you would like to work on first - what's most important to you now.


Then work out in your own mind what success means to you in that area. What goals do you want your new confident self to achieve in that area? Make these SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-bound) goals and write them down using the formula,


"It is now (date) and I am / have (insert your own words)". Imagine these are your ultimate goals if everything was exactly as you wanted it to be (10 out of 10).


3 - For each goal, spend some time thinking about what needs to have happened to let you know that you have achieved this goal? What will you be saying to yourself, what will you be doing, what will other people be saying?


4 - 90% of achieving your goals come from the "Why". Why are these goals important to you? What are the reasons, write them all down beside each goal.


5 - From your previous list you will now know which areas of your life you are already confident in (if any). List your key strengths in these areas, what are you good at? Note these down and look for evidence to back these up.


6 - What could you do to move your current rating up by one notch? E.g. if you are confident in your looks and rate this today at 5/10, what could you do to move it to a 6/10 ?


List all possible ideas, spend some quality time doing this and draw up a long list of things that you could do, not that you necessarily will do - brainstorm this so you have a long, long list of possible steps you could take to take you closer to your goal.


These could be things like:
Drink 2 more glasses of water every day
Walk the dog 10 mins extra each day
Exchange 11am biscuit for an apple
Wear colourful clothes
Always remove make up at night

Etc etc - whatever resonates with you.


7 - Now go through the list of options and select which options will deliver the results you want and appeal most to you, without being overwhelming. Don't try to do everything at once as you will set yourself up for failure. Pick out a few that you will focus on and incorporate these first.


8 - What are the "baby steps" within each of these options that you would need to do first in order to move forward.


In the examples above, it could be things like:

Buy bottled water or refill a bottle to take to work each day
Change route to walk the dog
Buy apples
Tidy out wardrobe
Leave cleanser beside toothbrush at night


9 - Prepare an action plan with specific "baby step" tasks and times/dates that these will be done.


10 - Do these actions, remembering why you are doing these and congratulating yourself along the way when you have achieved each small step - you are now moving closer to building your self confidence as you build evidence of your success.


Congratulations !!!


Repeat as necessary, set goals, look at all the options you could do, select the ones that will take you there and appeal most, do the actions, congratulate yourself and move on to the next area.

There are loads of confidence boosters around, but the above is my basic foundations from all the experience I have drawn on over the last few years.

Lastly, if you need assistance, Life Coaches can help challenge you and help you to see your challenge from a fresh angle.

I am one of thousands who operate throughout the UK, either in person or by telephone.

There are various directories on the web which have lists of Life Coaches.

Divorce is a huge and life changing event, but you can get through it and go on to rebuild your self confidence and your life.

Summary: Tried and tested ways to build / increase self confidence