Terrible two's? Pretty terrific if you ask me! (Toddler Stage in general)

Member Name: azana

Product:	Toddler Stage in general
Date:	27/05/09 (92 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Toddlers have great amusement value

Disadvantages: They are high maintenance

In my experience when any stage of life is drawing to an end, those last days of school, or university or single life for example, there is a moment when you stop and think "this is just perfect if only it could stay like this" (the Germans probably have a word for this feeling with "zeit" in it). Then you get caught up in the next exciting thing, the new job or whatever and life goes on.

I feel a bit like that about those toddler days at the moment, full of looking forward to my youngest growing more into the young person she will be, but overwhelmed by feelings of nostalgia and the sure knowledge that there are bits of the person she is now (a full blown toddler) that I will surely miss and memories that I will cherish forever.

Experience tells me that blink and you miss them turning from babies into small school-going children, so in honour of my youngest who is going to be 3 in July and next week will become a preschooler (so probably not a toddler at all), and the eldest who was a toddler a nano-second ago, here is my summary of the highs and lows of toddlerdom, with a few coping strategies thrown in.

The highs:

- Toddlers have an amazing sense of wonder at the world. They make you see it differently "that leaf is beautiful", said by a toddler who is astounded can make you see your surroundings through their eyes. Join in with splashing in puddles and looking at rock pools and you start to think that their world is a wonderful place, which it is a privilege to share. Even the mudane is new to them though I am not sure I agree with my toddler's statement this morning "I like traffic jams, they are not noisy are they?", though her positivity is inspiring.

- Toddlers are like sponges. They are forever learning things and remembering the minor details of last week or month that you had long forgotten. Of course there can be a downside to their burgeoning language skills and elephant like memory, my husband had to readjust his car-driving vocabulary after the eldest at just over 2 informed him "no, I'm not going to sit on the f***ing naughty step" - hmmm that day there were 2 of them on that step. When they are not copying inappropriate language from daddy the toddler is busy learning to communicate with you, when they learn to speak it is magical, though sometimes they do just make do with grunting and pointing, but otherwise they are busy making cute mistakes and asking that eternal question "why?" - all very cute.

- Toddlers have the power to make you laugh and their laughter is infectious and possibly the best sound in the world, ever. Of course they think you are the most highly amusing person ever too - something to be cherised I suspect before the teenage years hit and you cease to be admirable in their eyes or remotely funny.

- Toddlers run in a funny toddler way - don't know why but the way they run amuses me highly, well once they have got past the just learned to walk and tripping up a lot stage anyway....

- Toddlers learn things at an incredible rate; if you think about it 2 years ago they were working on reaching for things and focusing on your face; take a step back and marvel at what they can do now.

- Toddlers (well some of them) are really cuddly. Their love is unconditional and when they say unprompted "I love you mummy" it is the best thing in the world. Ever.


The lows:

- Toddlers have bad days, like all of us, only their bad days can be really bad and make you wonder what on earth happened to your happy child. I find that repeating "stage, stage, stage" helps. That and eating chocolate in copious amounts and remembering that bed time is likely to be 7 at the latest, and maybe earlier if they keep it up.

- Toddlers can be stubborn, really stubborn. If they decide they don't want to wear clothes you will be that mum you didn't plan to be who ends up taking them to the supermarket in pyjamas and peppa pig wellies. No negotiation or bribery will change a toddler's mind if it is made up, accept this and live with it or you will only cause yourself unnecessary stress. Pick your battles.

- Toddlers have tantrums. Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason to them, and they have a sixth sense that tells them when the worst possible time to have them is, in the middle of the supermarket surrounded by tutting grannies or in a very quiet museum. Sometimes whatever the child behaviour gurus say you are in a lose-lose situation so you just have to grit your teeth, tell yourself it is a manifestation of them not being able to control their feelings and er reach for the chocolate.

- Toddlers make mess. More mess than you can imagine; if you think the young baby you have makes a mess, they are just a weapon of mass toddler destruction in training. Again you just have to go with it frankly, I am sure those people you see in magazines who live in minimalist white trendy flats with a few artfully placed toys in them and Cath Kidston duvets are just deluded or have very good stylists. Personally I sometimes think I might as well go into every room in my house and throw things around it as the end effect would be the same, generally I tend to accept that I have had to adjust my standards of tidy and if everyone is relatively clean and fed then the rest is just details.

- Toddlers (well mine anyway) get up early. Really early like 5am sometimes. Whilst becoming acquainted with the 24 hour Tesco I have vowed to share 5 am with my lovely offspring when they are 16 or so. Blackout blinds are not the answer - maybe they just want to enjoy the day with you, but boy sometimes the days are long. On the upside they sleep better than when they were babies, sort of and sometimes.

Overall:

The toddler stage is not the cliched "terrible two's" that are often talked about. To me, having spent the last 4 years with a toddler in the house, the toddler stage is the most magical, frustrating, amazing and wonderful time. It is, like I said, over too fast and even now I can see my youngest growing up so quickly her little chubby legs getting longer and when she tried on her pre-school today and said "I like my new nuniform" I have to admit to a wee little tear and welling up with more pride and love than I could have imagined was possible pre-children. Toddlers have the magical power to get you like that.

I am so proud of my toddler and feel blessed to have been able to share this special time with her and her sister. The highs greatly outweigh the lows and I wish that toddler cuddle could last forever.

If you have a toddler cherish the time, and when that is not possible for whatever reason, remember that it is only a fleeting stage.

Perhaps if we all could see the world through a toddler's eyes it would be a better (albeit more messy) place, I'd like to think so. Here's to toddlers, not terrible at all!

Summary: Here's why the toddler stage is going too fast for my liking