Fulfil the Support Role, it's worth it... (Why future dads should attend childbirth classes)

Member Name: The Daz

Product:	Why future dads should attend childbirth classes
Date:	06/03/09 (163 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Get the information, listen, and be supportive.

Disadvantages: Well - it's too late to back out now!!

Here we are again, another lecture on parenting from me. You'll need to read all of my salient reviews to help you in the struggle against the Dark Side that is Parental Guilt. If you know what to do and it doesn't work, then at least you tried. If you don't bother learning, you'll never know but should assume it's your fault... (cunning ploy to increase readership).

Any Mothers reading this should nod knowingly, rate it VU, and, depending on their age, go knit something, nag your son-in-law, get broody again, or agree with all of my sage wisdom. Ok - I'll be nice, all mothers are spiffy, and you do a far better job than a man would if the biology were swapped.

My Wife and I had planned to procreate, and so the news that I would never again enjoy a lie-in, have any spare time, or be able to listen to Cricket on the radio in peace came as little surprise. I immediately set about the combined depths of Wikipedia, my best mate and his one year old, and all the books we had filched from second hand sales and other sources.

You should endeavour, as a bloke, to learn as much as you can. It is important to stress here, that you will need a filter. By all means take in all the advice you're given, all the tips that worked so well for their wonderful perfect children, soak up all the nagging about needing a better house and a suitable car for impending familydom - and then ignore it. Whilst it is important to show you're receptive, most of what occurs from childbirth onwards is very much an individual experience. Just as you will have experienced your school years in different ways to every other classmate, so raising a clutch of anklebiters is in itself a unique travail.

To set the tone - it is necessary thesedays for you to attend Childbirth classes. These can be arranged at your local Hospital, where a large group of you will be given both a tour of the facilities available, and a series of instructional classes that often cover the basics of pregnancy, childbirth and its immediate aftermath. Far better, in my opinion, are the NCT (National Childbirth Trust) classes, which you will have to pay for (£100ish for 8 2hr evening sessions), and which take place at either the course leader's house, or a nearby community centre/other building and are structured on a local basis so that you shouldn't have to travel too far.

The main reason that the future dad should attend isn't actually to learn the technical bits, or even to carry the countless handouts, leaflets and notices with which you will be weighted down, but in fact to provide support and show the necessary initiative and positive attitude which you will need once the baby is born, and which will also keep your partner relatively safe in the knowledge that you intend to be a proper dad, and not just the chap who earns the money, expects his dinner on the table, and waits until the child is old enough to kick a ball or take to the park to take an interest in. Come on...buck up...it's good fun raising a sprog, honest!


The classes - whichever version you opt for - will be aimed at several areas. The mother's health during pregnancy, and a visit of the hospital are usually first up, followed by examples of exercises and helpful positions for labour, along with detailed explanations of the 3 stages of labour and the myriad of drugs and methods available. You'd be surprised at how emotive it gets when you have to consider the benefits of pain relief against the many downsides of certain options, particularly pethidine and epidurals, and it's no surprise that a growing number of so-educated women opt initially for home births, birth centres (midwife led, relaxed attitude to intervention), and a minimum of pain relief. Obviously you can't prejudge the big day and any complication which may arise. If you know what your options are, and if you've discussed them previously, then you will be well placed to make informed decisions - remember, your partner is likely to experience various levels of agony, and her decision making will be biased toward relief rather than any plans you may have made earlier. It's up to you to decide if you need to suggest a change to those plans based on medial advice, or if you stick to them and see it through. Having gone to the classes and talked the whole event through with your partner, you will be able to rely on each other's trust. The Medical Staff have different concerns and targets, and will ultimately cede decision making to the two of you.

You will also talk about preparing your house and lives for a new arrival, maternity and paternity leave, feeding (the emphasis on breastfeeding by teaching, bottle as an option if breastfeeding is unsuccessful - NHS rules, not mine). Washing and dressing baby (and oh the list of clothes required at home for their return!), as well as routines and patterns in their lives are also discussed, and if you don't like lists or following plans, then you may come unstuck here!

The birth of my daughter proved to me that I'd made the right choice to be as informed as possible and to adapt when necessary. What started as a plan to use the Birthing Pool (complete with dimmed lights and in a private room) and as little pain relief as possible, eventually became, due to an overdue date and complications, a decision to opt for a hasty session of Laser Cutting and Welding (Caesarean Section), which necessitated my Wife being drugged up to the eyeballs and having to stay in for 3 more days after the birth. Because we knew what the C Section entailed, and most of what the Medical Staff were telling us, we were less scared than otherwise, and felt able to agree to what is in reality a very scary situation.

Overall - Men, you do need to attend these classes. Your partner depends on you for emotional, moral and physical support during pregnancy, labour and the early days, and you need to learn as much as you can to make those informed decisions, and avoid undue stress.

Ok - lecture over. Go and follow your partner around the Baby Pram and Furniture Shop, and mutter about how you could buy a 42" Plasma for the price of some of the items on display...

Summary: Attendance vital for would be New Age Dads.