i wish i didnt have to be a working mum (Working Mothers in General)

Member Name: STACEY0526

Product:	Working Mothers in General
Date:	11/12/08 (161 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: confident, self satisfaction and you and your child will be proud of mummy

Disadvantages: FEEL LIKE YOU ARE MISSING OUT, THE FEELING THAT YOU ARE A BAD PARENT

I am 23 years of age and a working mum, this is a very hard topic for me to speak about as I don't have the choice of being a stay at home mum.

When I found out I was expecting a baby I knew as the only wage earner in the house (my partner is disabled and due to my wage not entitled to any benefits) I would have to go back to work and in my head I was ready for that,

Before having my little boy I didn't really have much to do with anyone with children and my parents weren't that involved with us, yes we went on holidays together but that was about it, before I was at school I spent all weekdays with my grandparents going home after tea and all weekend there until my parents picked me up on a Sunday night, Once I reached school age I spent 3 afternoons a week and all weekend at my grandparents house and this went on until I was about 15 and could say no I want to go out with my friends instead, so didn't realise how special the little things were and how much I was going to miss them.

In my head I thought great 6 months off work to spend with the little one and then I would have the best of both worlds, ie, go to work and socialise with my friends and then go home and be a parent what could be better than that, I always told myself My son would look up to me when he was able to understand that he got everything he wanted and never went without because mummy worked hard to earn money to get them for him, but in reality I don't believe this at all.

The moment I first held my little boy in my arms everything changed, the first few weeks were fine I was house hunting; people were in and out all the time, and I didn't get anytime to myself to think about the future. My maternity pay was short so didn't have enough to cover the bills and everything else so we were struggling and the only resolution was for me to go back to work early, the first time my partner mentioned this it was like he had stabbed me, the reality hit me like a lead weight, I knew I never wanted to go back to work let alone going back before I should. I can explain how I felt it was the worst feeling I had ever experienced.

I managed to stay at home for the 6 months but dreaded each day as my return to work date got closer and closer and then it arrived, it has been a complete struggle for the past 18 months everyday I dread having to go to work. Working shifts I miss his smile as he wakes up in the morning and sees you, I miss the night time snuggles and reading him a storey before he goes to bed and it is these little things that I know I am going to miss that makes me dread coming to work, I was quite lucky to be there for his first word and his first step but its everything else I miss so much.

Being a working mum is great if you understand that you will miss out a lot and that you can deal with it instead of beating yourself up and going through each day battling the guilt of not being there, I do find that working makes me a more confident person and allows me to spoil my little boy at times and more then anything really appreciate the time I do get with him and get as much out of it as possible.

I don't think anyone has a magic wand that they can wave to make things like a fairy tale where we all have enough money to never have to work and live happily ever after with everything we want, and for me I just think that when I buy my child a new toy or take him on family outings it is only me working that allows us to do that.
I know that just because I go to work doesn't mean I am a bad mum even though I go through half my life feeling like I am, I keep a roof over my families head and my little boy never goes without and that is the only thing that keeps me going.

My advise to anyone feeling the same as me know that you are not alone and weather its your choice to work or not think about all of the good coming out of you working and yes it maybe hard but think of the look on your Childs face when you get them the latest toys, the days out and the holiday that they look forward too all year. And above all else treasure the time that you do get with them

Summary: WORKING MUMS ARE NOT FOR ALL OF US BUT IF YOU DONT HAVE A CHOISE LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE