It takes effort to be a working mum. (Working Mothers in General)

Member Name: hypno06

Product:	Working Mothers in General
Date:	13/12/08 (68 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: I get to be ME, as well as being a Mummy!

Disadvantages: Guilt rears its ugly head from time to time.

When I found out I was first pregnant, I had no hesitation on planning to give up work. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy my work, or that the money was not an issue, but it just seemed to me at that time that it was the right thing to do - to be a Mummy means being at home for your Children. We scrimped and saved in order to be able to manage on the one wage, and along came baby number one.

Great, except I am not cut out to be a stay at home mum. It soon became apparent that I was missing using my brain in the way that I had been used to. My only conversation was now baby based and I felt myself becoming bored and boring. Much as I loved my baby, and spending time with her, I needed more.....

So when my boss rang asking if I would return to work, I had no hesitation in saying YES! I went back to work part time, 3 days a week initially, employed an excellent Nanny to look after the baby, and this was fantastic! OK, so the cost of the Nanny wiped out my wages completely - but this was never about the money.....it was about getting the balance right.

15 months after baby number one, came baby number two......this time I worked right up until the day I had him. My poor boss, with whom I shared an office was terrified I might give birth at my desk! I had to have a C-Section so needed recovery time, but was back at work within 6 weeks.

Within a year, I returned to work full time and for us this was the right thing to do. There was a time, about 6 years ago, when I felt that I might have missed out on some of the things that I heard other mums talking about - chatting at the playground, meeting up at the park, etc, so I asked to go part time for a while. This was a disaster - I ended up trying to fit a full days work in to part time hours, for part time pay, so was more stressed and tired than I was when I was working full time.....This stress and tiredness, of course, took its toll on the children, and it was much better when I returned to work full time.

So, the disadvantages......there are of course several, including the cost of childcare, finding suitable holiday clubs, getting children up and out of bed even in the school holidays to get them to a holiday club when really they want to lay in like their friends do etc etc

Advantages - well, the money I have earnt and the career I have built up is obviously very valuable to me, but in addition the children have developed into independent young adults (they are now 13 and 14). They have learnt how to cook, how to make decisions, they know the value of hard work and the money earned from it. As a result they have both started to earn their own money because they can see you get nothing if you do nothing, but if you work you can get something in return.

Many people will say that I shouldn't have had children if I did not intend spending time with them. BUT I did intend spending all my time with them, but for me it was not the right thing to do - what is the point in having a stressed mummy at home taking out those stresses on the children in some way.

Instead, I am able to spend quality time with my children - I always make sure I leave work on time, so I can be home to sit down and eat dinner with them, help with their homework, mess around playing games, etc.

My employers know that I am a mother - if school ring to say my child is sick, then I leave work to pick them up.......my children DO come first. In fact my contract says that reasonable time will be allowed for such occasions - my firm appreciate the value that us working parents provide so are happy to make the necessary compromises as such to be reasonable. This is worth its weight in gold.

It takes a lot of work to get the balance right, and there are always times when the guilt thing comes along, but for me that effort is worth it. Speak to my children and you will find that they think the same as well - they certainly don't feel neglected!
Having said that, of course - my way of doing things is not for everyone. You have to make your own decision, and NO-ONE should tell you that you are doing the wrong thing, whatever route you choose.

Summary: It it hard work being a working mum, but for me its the right thing to do.