WHY SHOULDER THE MUMS WITH ALL THE RESPONSIBILITY AND GUILT????? (Working Mums vs. Stay at Home Mums)

Member Name: fooyoo

Product:	Working Mums vs. Stay at Home Mums
Date:	19/11/05 (438 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: BOTH PARENTS HAVE EQUAL RESPONSIBILITY

Disadvantages: SOME PEOPLE SEEM INTENT ON MAKING OTHER PARENTS FEEL INAQEQUATE

I have been looking at some research which shows that today's generation of fathers are spending more time than ever with their children yet debates like this one always seem to centre around whether or not the mum stays at home and perform her "duties".
Last year, my wife and I had our third child, and we had to look very hard into childcare costs should my wife return to work when our baby daughter was 10 months old. My wife looked into becoming a childminder, although for the work involved, the financial gain would not have been on a par. One night, she made an off the cuff remark along the lines of "why should I be looking for a change, when you could do it to". It had never dawned on us before, and as I earned about 40% less than my wife, it made complete sense. I decided to work evenings when the children are in bed, and my wife can pursue a career she has worked hard to build. Many people have asked me how I will cope, or commented how brave I am, and I just don't understand why. I am their dad, and am very hands on, so I will cope the same way my wife would, and why is it brave? Answers on a postcard please. I have to say, 3 months on, it is the best decision I have ever made.
I come from a completely different family background, and my father was the traditional breadwinner, whilst my mother stayed at home, kept house and baked a lot. My relationship with my father is not a paricularly close one, and I do believe this is because he did not get an in depth understanding of me growing up from a child into the man I am today, and he has been one of my harshest critics, even hinting that he thinks I am not a real man! I don't really know my father, and I am so glad and so proud that I can be there for my children. I still provide financially from my part time work, and in fact I am earning as much as I was when I worked 12 hour shifts in a warehouse. How misled I was!!
I hope that people will start to alter their attitudes, especially any stay at home mothers reading this who take every opportunity to slate women who work or even dare to forge careers once they have children.
Parent and toddler groups are in the main still mother and toddler groups, and I have been a couple of times, but I detest being the token male, and I can only compare it to a woman walking into a traditional working men's club.
My daughters are thriving on the attention they are receiving from me, and then once my wife arrives home, they all have quality time together when I go to work, so how can that be a bad thing?

Summary: Why is it only women who should stay at home?