The hardest thing I have ever done (Working Mums vs. Stay at Home Mums)

Member Name: f1re_cr4cker

Product:	Working Mums vs. Stay at Home Mums
Date:	14/12/08 (259 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Seeing my children grow and change every day

Disadvantages: No sick pay, holiday or pay at all!

Before I had children I always said that I would be a stay at home mum. This is largely due to a) having been a nursery nurse and not wanting to put my child in a nursery and b) that is what both our mum's did and we felt it to be most beneficial.

I must admit it frustrates me a little when I hear everyone saying how lucky and well off you must be as you stay at home- no that is the exact opposite with most full time stay at home mums I know! Many I know have to go without certain luxuries and holidays. Don't get me wrong though as I realise for some that there is no option other than one person to go back to work. However in our case if I had had to go back at 6 months full time (it was 6months smp for me) then we would never had had children as neither of us could have done that.

As a nursery nurse I saw so many "firsts" that parents missed and I struggled to understand how well off people (as the majority of parents were very well off in this nursery) could want to put their 3 month old baby in daycare 8am- 6pm 5 days a week. That is a massive expense and they hardly saw their child!

There is one moment particulary as a nursery nurse that sticks in my mind of a beautiful little boy who was in 8-6pm 5 days a week and had been since he was 6months old. His first word wasn't mummy, it was Sara- my name. How do I know this- his mum told me how he constantly said my name at home and still hadnt said hers- how sad I thought.

So there you go, I am not the norm I know (or at least with my mum friends who almost all work part or fulltime) and nor can I say either that I absolutely adore it 100% of the time as it frequently is REALLY hard. I have very very little time to myself and there is of course no sick days at all which can be horrible to have to look after 2 children when you are poorly and just want to be in bed. Sometimes I do feel simply a mother and wife not Sara at all. But this was my decision, they are my babies (well 2 and 3) and I 100% stand by our decision- even though it is tough. This is the non rose tinted side of the story, as I know a lot of reviews may concentrate on how wonderful it is to be a stay at home mum and IT IS but at the same time it is also the hardest thing I have ever done!

Now I actually do work part time from home on a self employed basis which does give me a bit extra satisfaction, helps with the financial side and means I can still look after my children. But even when i'm finding it really hard (I have pnd) I could never have put them in nursery. That was not an option.

My childen have socialised fine far as I can tell. My oldest now is at preschool 4 afternoons a week makes friends easily and is very confident. As for younger son there are plenty of toddler, music, soft play groups to get out and meet other mums and babies too! Infact in my area I could easily be out and about every day.

This for me was no option, I didn't want to miss a thing and I like to think my children and myself will have reaped the rewards from it.

Summary: Being a stay at home mum is hard but worth it.