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I wish I had the option to be a stay at home mum!
Working Mums vs. Stay at Home Mums
Member Name: carlz2001uk
Working Mums vs. Stay at Home Mums
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This debate is one which divides many people, with seemingly no 'down the middle' option. I am going to give you my opinion on this debate but respect anyone who has a different one to mine.
I have 2 daughters aged 18 months and 3 ½. I work part time for the NHS, work at home part time running an ironing service and I am also studying part time for a degree with the Open University. My husband works full time as an accounts analyst for a major supermarket. Unfortunately, the option of staying at home, for us, was never applicable. Although my husband has a good salary, minus our outgoings, it just didn't cover everything. I set up my ironing service when my eldest daughter was about 1, and it soon exploded into something I just couldn't manage by myself. I found myself getting up in the middle of the night (to iron!), just to stay ahead of myself. I realised that it was not working, as the whole idea of starting this ironing service was to allow me to be at home with my little girl. After unfortunately getting rid of some of my customers, I found it much easier to cope and was spending time with my daughter each day, and then on an evening when she had gone to bed, I would do the ironing. I then found out I was expecting again, and had the bad news that as I had not been self employed for long enough, and hadn't been claiming any benefits, I wasn't entitled to statutory maternity pay from the government. I was disgusted, as in my eyes, I had been doing the right thing by grafting and using initiative rather than claiming benefits (to anyone who is in receipt of benefits, I'm not knocking it!!). Because of this, I worked up to 2 days before giving birth (I was 13 days overdue), and was back ironing 2 days after giving birth. Unfortunately for everyone concerned, we just couldn't afford to not be receiving my income and as the government were not willing to assist me I had to go back to the ironing. Many will be bothered that I had a newborn at home, but I was in no way neglecting her or not giving her the attention she needed. More often than not, it was only myself who suffered, as when she slept I ironed, meaning I was kinda tired!
In September 2008, when my youngest daughter was three months old, I took a part time job working for the NHS in Human Resources where I still work now. I work 18 hours each week, and get to spend a full day with them on a Tuesday and each morning of the rest of the week. I play with my children, read them stories, take them for walks and generally have fun with them. While I work they go to nursery or stay with grandparents. My children are well balanced and love to get away from me for a few hours each day to play with friends. On an evening when they go to bed, I iron, and whenever I can I try and read my coursework. My life is hectic to say the least, but in a way I would never change. If I didn't work, I would be grumpy and unable to interact with my children in the way I do. I need time away from them as they do me. Were money no issue and I didn't need to work, I would still send them to nursery for a few hours each week, to allow them to interact with other children and prepare them for school, and I think this is something all children need regardless of whether mums go to work.
I wish I could spend more time with my beautiful girls, but unfortunately I can't, so the time we do spent together is precious and full of fun. I hope you agree that the choices I have made maybe not right for everyone, but they are right for our family.
Thanks for taking the time to read my opinion.
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