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Do what is best for your family.
Working Mums vs. Stay at Home Mums
Member Name: loopy-lou33
Working Mums vs. Stay at Home Mums
Advantages: see review
Disadvantages: see review
I have given this topic a lot of thought since reading a recent review on this subject. My opinion is simple. Do what suits YOUR particular family circumstances. There is no way you can impose a blanket assumption that one way of parenting is better than another. We are all unique individuals with our own personalities and family situations.
My personal situation is that I am a stay at home mom, and that I enjoy it very much. I wasn't working when I had my first child, so I didn't have to worry about going back to work after he was born, My husband was in a stable job and happy to provide for the family financially. This worked out well for us, and I enjoyed being at home with the baby and was able to breastfeed him exclusively. It is absolutely magical when you are there when your child reaches major milestones such as first words and steps, and spending so much one on one time with your baby enables a very close bond to form.
I had all my three kids one after the other, so when my youngest was born, my eldest was 4 and my middle child 2 years old. Life was pretty hectic, but had lots of real high points and "cuddly moments". I was always completely content being at home with them, though I can understand that some people would find the combination of cbeebies and nappies 24/7 a bit tedious, especially if they are used to a stimulating career!
When I grew up, mom was always there to look after us, and always at home when we got back from school to chat about our day and give us a shoulder to cry on. I really appreciate that, although it meant that we weren't "super rich" financially, but having the emotional support of a stay at home mom meant more to me than any material worth.
Nowadays, moms have a bit more flexibility with childcare, and many are able to combine raising kids and working very succesfully. I don't think kids raised in homes with two working parents suffer in any way, as long as they have meaningful play and contact with their parents and can feel secure and loved.
In many cases, both parents have to work to in order to make ends meet. It is unfair for society to judge the children of such people as disadvantaged in any way, any more than it is for society to judge stay at home moms as lazy and workshy! Too many people form opinions about others without knowing all of the facts. As long as kids are happy, healthy and feel loved, what does it matter whether both parents work or not?
For moms that work, this can be a pleasant break in routine, a chance to spend time with other adults and have coversations about things other than kids TV. A break in routine can leave a mom refreshed, and more able to cope with day to day life, more "human".
The only type of people I don't like are workaholic parents, people who have kids just for something to tick on their "to do" list.I remember going to a theme park a couple of years ago, and seeing a dad deeply immersed in conversation on his mobile phone with his boss, completely ignoring his two kids who just wanted to spend some time with him. It made me feel really sad and hurt.
Work and family life has got to be a balance. Circumstances change, but our responsibilities as parents and the decisions we make will have far reaching effects both now, and years into the future when our kids are parents themselves. Make the right decisions.
Summary: everyone is different!
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