Don't Rattle My Cage !!! (Working Mums vs. Stay at Home Mums)

Member Name: splodgethecat

Product:	Working Mums vs. Stay at Home Mums
Date:	24/08/01 (290 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Advantages to working, Advantages to staying home

Disadvantages: Disadvantages to working, Disadvantages to staying at home

Mothers who go out to work are nothing new. I have always worked and when my daughter was younger she spent quite a bit of time with a respected neighbour or her grandma when her father and I weren’t there. Usually this was only a couple of hours after school, or during school holidays. Did she miss out? I don’t think so. She got lots of love, plenty of attention as she was the only child, she got O levels and A Levels, went onto University and got a degree.

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Since it was I who suggested this topic, I though I would get tapping away at my keyboard straight away as the topic is something I feel quite strongly about. I suggested this subject the other day after I read some item somewhere about working mothers being linked to school failure in children. This article made no mention of working fathers *at all*, you understand, therefore I got understandably steamed up! Here we go I thought, the good old double standards are being bandied about again in order to ‘beat up’ women for any and every one of society’s ills. Anyway, after the steam had stopped coming out of my ears and I got out of fume mode, I decided to put forward the suggestion to the Dooyoo team, and here we are.

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Later on I managed to dig out a reference to the original piece I saw, about a recent study that had been carried out by the Joseph Rowntree Foundation. I read through it to see it it made any better sense the second time round. It didn’t. Although the results were there for all to see, I coudn’t *understand* the findings, because to be honest, in my life I have known families where only dad was working, where only mum was working, where neither of them worked for whatever reason, or where both of them worked (either part or full time) and there appeared to be not much difference at all in the academic achievement between any of the kids.

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The study I was reading about followed the academic
progress of pupils born in the 70s and the results showed that low academic achievement was more likely where mothers returned to work full time before their children were five years of age. 1,200 youngsters were included in the study and those with working mothers were thought to have been likely to acieve A level status. (12% less chance.) Looking deeper into this particular study, I was pleased to find some reference to working fathers was included, but although this did exert *some* influence on pupils’ acievements, maternal employment had ‘much greater impact’.

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This makes depressive reading because although I wouldn’t like to challenge these empirical findings - the results are in black and white, I cannot help but think that all this is nothing more but a propaganda measure to discourage women from working and climbing the career ladder. After all, in recent years women have made such mighty steps in the workforce, and I cannot help but wonder of ’the powers that be’ use these ‘research studies’ to make women feel like they should be stepping down and leaving some of the better jobs for their male counterparts. An easy way of doing this is by instilling guilt of course!

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What also came out of this study was the fact that the researchers, on the other hand, have asked the government to implement more family-friendly opportunities for part time work. Apparently mothers who work part time, do not ’damage’ their kids as much as full time workers. However, we all know that part time jobs tend to be more menial and definitely lower paid, they have less benefits and part time workers have less employment rights. Whoopee - let’s get more women into *these* sorts of jobs eh? Sorry for the skepticism, but this sort of thing rattles my cage.

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I find it extremely difficult to believe that a working mother has more impact on a child’s ac
hievements than on, say family income or the education available to a child. Many women, after all, go out to work from necessity, plus there is a section of women who actually feel more fullfilled and feel they are contributing to society and the economy by working. These mothers are *happy* mothers and as far as I can make out, happy mothers bring up happy children. Why on earth should they be made to feel bad?

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After this report David Blunket came out with the point that children growing up in families with long term unemployment performed less well at school. Surely poverty has a greater impact? Also, it has to be noted that this study was started nearly thirty years ago when there was nothing like the childcare provision available these days. This fact is skimmed over or left out though when reporting of course! However, it’s going on thirty years since I used to leave my daughter and she grew up and achieved fine.

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I must urge caution to people who come across this news item. Thankfully the National Family and Parenting Institute have asked people not to draw too many conclusions from the study too. There are *so* many things that can contribute to a child underachieving at school; poverty, other environmental factors, learning difficulties, disorders, extended absence from school, abuse, I could go on. I think it is very unwise and completely unhelpful to even think that working mothers alone may be to blame for their children’s lack of progress at school.

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Having said all this, you might think I am ‘on the side’ of the working mother. Well, in fact, I am on the side of *choice*. Whether a woman decides to go back to work after having children or decides to stay at home is up to her and her spouse. Single parents may have no other choice, other than to go on the pittance that is income support, and that is definitely NOT good for any child. I would not wish that on any
parent or their child.

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I am sure this topic is going to spark loads of debate here, but as people start to post, could I please appeal to working mums not to berate stay at home mums, and stay at home mums not to have a go at working mums. We are all individuals and we all have our own choices to make. Remember, until you’ve walked in someone else’s shoes ........

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