Can't do right for doing wrong. (Working Mums vs. Stay at Home Mums)

Member Name: weeonelass

Product:	Working Mums vs. Stay at Home Mums
Date:	14/09/01 (153 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: spend all your time with your child, Joy of seeing first steps etc...

Disadvantages: Feeling trapped, lonely, others critisism

There seems to be a lot of conflicting opinions on the issues of working mothers, so I thought I would add mine.

I studied hard at school and completed my G.C.S.E s and A levels. Then went on to university and ended up qualifying as a medical technician. I had a job I loved as a pharamacy manager and was very happy.

At the age of 26 we decided we wanted a baby. WE had discussed it for years and decided we were not ready.
Even when I fell pregnant I still felt too young. I was also worried about my job and myself and my husband both agreed that I would return to work as soon as it was possible. It was all arranged. I was to return working part time and my mum was going to look after the baby.

This soon changed as soon as I held my beautiful daughter in my arms. I could not bring myself to leave her. So I handed in my notice which was the hardest thing I had to do in a long while. I am happy to be at home with my daughter for her sake. But myself, it has destroyed everyting I worked for. There are days were I so want to go to work, although I believe I am doing the best for my daughter.

I do not judge others for making decisions different from mine. Every family has different circumstances and I am fortunate that I could make a choice, others do not have a choice. Other mums actually have a choice and still go to work and that is fine too.

What angers me is the pressure from society on all mothers. If you go to work you are criticised and made to feel guilty for leaving your child.
There are reports forced upon us about how children from homes where the parents work are less likely to do well at school etc etc...
If you stay at home then you are looked down upon and treated as if you are lazy.

I have had some awful experiences since I left work. Members of my own family have made comments like "well you do not do anything all day just sit and watch day time tv". Also I get tre
ated as if I am no longer a human. I am a mother/ housewife which means I am thick. I must have ejected my brain with the placenta. I am not included in 'intellegent' conversation anymore and I am even being questioned on advice that I have given which before would not have happened. People saying things like "how do you know what medication you are giving your daughter is correct." They forget that I studied three years to learn this.
The worse part is now my husband's family describe things as being his, not ours because he pays for them and supports me. This is hard to live with as I have always supported myself.
Another problem about staying at home is the feeling of failing because you are not bringing in an income. Luckily for me I have a very supportive husband who tries to understand how I feel.

I feel ashamed to say that I stay at home because people judge you and put into a little catagory. Everything you stand for and all you work for before being pregnant gets snatched away.

Having said all that I still would not have it any other way.

Good luck to all mothers out there, whether you work or stay at home. I think it's tough both ways.

Summary: