Provides a job by creating a job. (Working Mums vs. Stay at Home Mums)

Member Name: andycharger

Product:	Working Mums vs. Stay at Home Mums
Date:	17/09/01 (138 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Good for extra money

Disadvantages: Bad for bonding with children

I had to write my opinion on this subject after reading an excellent account by chrissypops.

This argument is one that will ramble until the end of time and one I feel quite strongly on.
While I do agree mothers who can should return to work, I feel children need to be cared for in the correct way.

My wife is a nanny for a mother of 2. She has a well paid job and is able to afford a nanny.
Unfortunately, nannies in the country are treated as 2nd rate citizens by their employers.
Im not saying they are treated like scum, but they are taken for granted and not paid sufficiently for the responsibility they take on.
Think about it, your children are possibly your biggest responsibility you will ever take on and you should take their welfare into consideration when planning to go back to work.
If you pay peanuts, as in any job, you will get monkeys. However, most nannies are good and nearly all are underpaid.

For example, my wife works for a lady who would not give her a pay rise after completing her first year. She was told at the start of the contract that they would "renegotiate" at the end of the year.
When the year came up, they offered her the same money and a 3 month minimum notice period!
My wife told her that she would consider but went back asking for a pay rise.
Her boss told her they could not afford to give her a pay rise.
I have no found out that the boss has sent her little girl to a private school and has just bought herself a sportscar!
So she cant afford a payrise but she can afford £30,000+ on a new car.
It just goes to show you that people have their priorities completely wrong.
I know there are mothers out there that do go back to work after children and do provide properly for them.
But of the 3 employers My wife has worked for over the last 6 years, they have all been the same.
She is adamn good nanny too. Both of her previous employers have said to me how
much they miss her and how they have not found anyone as good to replace her.
Maybe they should have all thought about that when hey were not prepared to increase her pay.

It seems to be the same attitude the country over. All of my wife's friends in the business seem to have similar stories.

While some working mothers seem to have this idea that their childrens safety and security comes 2nd to a new car, Im sure it does not apply to most.

Its a difficult balance at any level.
Do you go back to work? If so you have to pay for Childcare.
You need to make it worth while going back work to make enough money to pay your nanny/childcarer and have enough money left over to call your own.

Mothers that stay at home, I think, have a much stronger bond with their children.

The advantages with staying at home are:

Stronger bonds with children.
Always available for their needs.
Get to watch them develop.
Dont have to pay for childcare.

Disadvantages are:
Not earning any money to support them.
Constantly looking after them 24/7.


Advantages with working are:
Earn more money.
Your own time once again.

Disadvantages are:
Having to earn enough money to pay a childminder and yourself.
Not seeing enough of your kids.
Not being there for the important times (First steps, first words)
Not building strong enough bonds with them at an early age.
Putting your most important and precious items in someone elses hands.


You can see the disadvantages out weigh the advantages to me.
I know. I see it everyday.
The most shining example is my cousin.
As a child, his mother and father did not have time for him. too busy going out to work.
He was shoved form relation to relation until my mum took him on as she had me.
She was the one that attended his school plays and sports days.
She was the one that took him to t
he park.

Ok, they bought him nice present to take to places as pe was palmed off but what he needed was quality time with his parents.

Now, he hates them and cant stand to be around them He is like another son to my mum.

They are always bugging him to go over and see them but he is not interested.
When they ask why, he says "You were not bothered with me as a child, why should I bother with you now?"

A sad but true staement. I wonder how many "working mum" children will turn out the same?

Anyway, I should not knock childcare. It gives my wife a job.
Its one of the most unrewarded jobs there is other than job satisfaction.

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