Who Failed Who??? (Young Offenders - What Should The Law Do With Them?)

Member Name: cata

Product:	Young Offenders - What Should The Law Do With Them?
Date:	17/08/01 (51 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Can see were others went wrong

Disadvantages: Caught up in family problems

Many years ago I married into a family which to say the least had suffered more than its fair share of problems. I married the second child, she was the eldest daughter and the events I am going to relate respond directly to her elder sisters boys.
When I married my then wife she had two nephews aged two and seven. The eldest of the boys was not the brainiest of people and suffered from a very short attention span. He was also dyslexic and so while at school he found he did not perform as well as could be helped and soon became almost constantly in trouble with his teachers.
As he grew older it became obvious he would need help of some sort or as they say he would go wrong.
I feel at this point his parents had divorced and his father rather shunned him, his mum in the meantime had remarried somebody who had no time or patience for my nephew.
Soon petty thieving from family members began to happen, he always denied stealing, being able to convince himself that he really was innocent even though everybody knew he was the only person who would have taken the missing item.
Soon his mum divorced again under messy circumstances and a period of boyfriends began, until she met and married again to give her boys a father.(Something that should not be done in my opinion)
This man took my nephew under his wing, now aged twelve, but before long his patience too had expired and the boy was despatched to live with his father and new wife.
At first it seemed to be a success at least to those of us looking in, however his father was a heavy drinker and my nephew discovered the pleasures of alcohol at the age of twelve. Soon the petty thieving had begun again and his father asked social services take him into care. His mum went spare and took him back into her house, although now she had a thirteen year old hardened drinker on her hands and a husband who would not give him houseroom.
Before long the police were regular visitors to the household and he
became a known problem maker.
The problems continued to spiral resulting in a third divorce for my sister in law and yet a new home, however now aged sixteen he was unable or unwilling to change his ways, finally after several minor scrapes with the law he found himself in magistrates court for assault. While out drinking with friends he had seen a fight going on across the street and had run and joined in, he broke somebodies nose before running away. He was caught because the town is covered by cctv cameras and he was wearing a distintive coat. That and the fact he was recognised by several passer-byes who identified him to the police.
The case took over a six months to come to court during which he was restricted to the house after 7pm each night. Something he actually kept. Even at Christmas the curfew was in place and we had to obtain special permission for him to attend a family gathering. Still as I said he kept to the terms of the curfew and stayed out of trouble for the whole six month period. His solicitor now thought that with what he was being charged with he would recieve a fine and be bound over to keep the peace. It was then a great shock when he recieved a nine month sentance and was sent to a young offenders institution.
Well it was bound to happen we all said, it has been comming for years and no doubt it will happen again. Sure enough he is currently back inside after another fight, this time with an off-duty policeman who knew him. this time he has fifteen months and already has another case pending.
The thing is from the age of four it had been obvious to his family that he was an angry child and would not concentrate or take discipline in any shape or form. Then at school he was adjudged to be backward and a special needs case but no funds were made available or he would fail and some obscure point.
All through his life he has been failed by both his family and society as a whole. I let him down I should have done more to
help him rather than leave it to his mother and father, but then you do not like to poke your oar in too much. Indeed I would probably have been told to mind my own business anyway.
As I said his father was a heavy drinker and he has now died from liver failure, his mum well she is a teacher and part of her responsibility is careers advisor for the children in her year at school, so you would think she would know what to do for the best. The thing is no matter how his family let him down society judged him by what he has achieved and that is a man of nineteen who is a drunken thug, who is no longer fit to live in society.
Perhaps all of us should look at ourselves and thank our lucky stars that we had parents who cared or perhaps parents who had time for us.
His younger brother has never been the same character he has however found himself targeted by the police when he went out in the town were they live, because of who his brother was, so much so that the family have now moved to another town, yes my sister in law has remarried again, I just hope the spiral will soon stop but unfortunatly the new man has no time for my nephew and will not let him in the house, so when he comes out he will be out on his own and will be left to fend for himself. It will only be a matter of time before he has another fight and another sentance his life seems to be destined to be one of incarceration. Am I proud of my part in his life? No I am not and sadly I am no longer part of his family but I still hold myself somewhat responsible for his failure to conform to society,due to my lack of action.

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