Kill. (Half-Life 2 (PC))

Member Name: friendofmaddo

Product:	Half-Life 2 (PC)
Date:	03/03/09 (18 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Everything

Disadvantages: Neglect real life, and the beard is annoying.

As you can see from the cover of this game, it may as well be called 'Revenge of the Nerd'. In this game, you play as Gordon Freeman, who, coincidentally, is fighting to free Earth from the nefarious mechanical tentacles of the Combine. The Combine, on first look, are your run-of-the-mill alien invaders. They come to Earth and ironically enslave our human race, which is really rather rude because we were perfectly happy enslaving each other, thank you very much Mr. Combine.

The graphics are, even today, at the top of the range. The framerate is flawless; explosions are rendered with morbid attention to detail. Despite such graphical intricacy, the loading times are gratifyingly short, given you just enough time to down a Red Bull between levels and growl at the screen like a man-bear (that's the offspring of a bear and a man, FYI). Visual effects, such as the mega-satisfying spurt of crimson goo that erupts from a Combine infantry's neck as you sever it with a judiciously-placed sniper round, are realistic enough to make you wonder if real-life murder would be as fun. Unfortunately, it isn't. There are ramifications. But in Half Life 2, there are no consequences. The Combine are the Vietnamese, you are the Americans. You Tarzan; they Jane. You can do whatever the hell you want. Blow them up, slice them up, plant grenades beneath their biomechanical bottoms; it's all legit in this game.

Yes, it is fun. If I haven't convinced you of that fact already, perhaps you are illiterate. As a small token of this instant-classic's incredible gameplay variety, I will disclose to you, dear reader, that this game contains both zombies and robotic stormtroopers. I repeat: both zombies and robotic stormtroopers. Half Life 2 is the apex of videogame ultraviolence: you are a homicidal, albeit strangely attractive, geek. It does not get any better than that.

Summary: Buy it, it's cheaper than a real gun.