Product Type: SoldOut PC games
Newest Review: ... stretched before having the excess cut off. Doctor only treatment. Hair Restoration - Kind of explains itself! The bald patients will be ... more
Not another dose of The Squits!
Theme Hospital (PC)
Member Name: bettyboop2002
Theme Hospital (PC)
Advantages: Fun, family game
Disadvantages: I want more levels
This game was originally released in 1997 by Bullfrog Productions. There have been various versions released for different PC operating systems and it is also now available to download.
The game is available for around £5 on Amazon with delivery and is about the same price to download.
What Is Theme Hospital?
Well you may have guessed your job is to run and improve various hospitals over various levels. You will need to build various rooms and place equipment and machinery to achieve your goals. You will also need to monitor the performance of your staff and deal with epidemics and emergencies to run a successful hospital.
The goals may require you to earn a set amount of cash, cure a number of patients, a percentage of patients and increase the value of your hospitals.
Illnesses and Rooms
Each hospital will need a reception desk. Every patient that walks through the doors will need to visit reception before being sent to a GP's office for a diagnosis.
In the first levels you will only need a couple of rooms, in the later levels you will be required to build more. Some will be already in the build menu to select, others you will need to research by building a Research Department.
The staff will get moody and quit if they don't get their rest so you will also need a Staff Room.
The patients will also need you to build a Toilet.
Some rooms can only have staff with specific qualifications to operate the equipment, if you don't have a member of staff you can train them by building a Training Room.
In some cases the GP will diagnose the ailments and send them straight to a treatment room to be cured, in other cases they may need more diagnosis rooms before determining what is wrong with the patient. Other diagnosis rooms are:
Once a diagnosis has been made you will need other rooms to treat the various amusing ailments.
Only psychiatrists can work in this room. This room is used to treat various conditions such as 'King Complex' which causes patients to look like Elvis Presley, 'Sweaty Palms' and 'Infectious Laughter'.
Only nurses can work in the pharmacy. Treats illnesses such as 'The Squits' which causes patients to cross their legs and hold their stomachs while hopping around, also treats 'Gut Rot', 'Discrete Itching', 'Heaped Piles', 'Uncommon Cold', 'Invisibility' and more.
Staffed by a nurse, this room is used for diagnosis, rest and also before going to the operating theatre.
You must have a ward before building an operating theatre as the patients must visit the ward first. You will need 2 surgeons to work in the operating theatre.
Operations take place to cure such ailments as 'Broken Heart', 'Kidney Beans', 'Golf Stones' and 'Iron Lungs'.
My favourite room, any doctor can operate the inflator which is used to treat 'Bloaty Head' which is a terrible illness where the patient comes in with a swollen head, the inflator then pumps lots of air into the head, making it blow up even bigger like a huge balloon until the doctor sticks a big long needle in and pops it, curing the illness and resulting in the patient having a head in proportion to their body.
Nurses work in the fracture clinic, which involves a patient with a cast sitting in a machine which removes the cast. This is used to treat 'Fractured Bones'.
-Slack Tongue Clinic
This room treats patients with 'Slack Tongue' who wander around the hospital with their tongues hanging out. The excess tongue is stretched and cut off in here using the slicer machine. This can be used by any doctor.
This room needs a doctor with a research qualification and treats 'Alien DNA' by transforming aliens into human form.
Required to replace the hair of patients with 'Baldness', this machine can be operated by and doctor.
Cures the wibbly wobbly patients who suffer from 'Jellyitis', this machine can also be used by any doctor.
This can also be used by any doctor and cures 'Hairyitis', a disease which makes the patient look a bit like a shaggy monkey.
All doctors can use this to decontaminate the patients who have 'Radioactivity'.
You have access to a list of staff who are available to hire. The list will tell you a little bit of important information on the staff such as one doctor "smells faintly of cabbage". Some doctors may require higher wages than others, depending on their qualifications and how good they are. A cheap doctor may want to take breaks more often.
If the staff member you require is not on the list you will either have to train up your current doctors or wait as the list changes every few minutes.
You will need a receptionist for your reception desk.
A Handyman maintains the machines which break down after so many uses or in the case of an Earthquake! Some equipment may eventually break down beyond repair and therefore a new room will have to be built.These handymen also sweep the floors and water plants.
Nurses will be required for your pharmacy, fracture clinic and ward.
Doctors are available as junior doctors, doctors and consultants. A consultant can be used to train other doctors into Surgeons, Research doctors and Phsyciatrists.
You will need to place windows to keep your staff happy, radiators to keep staff and patients warm, plants and paintings to keep people happy. Drinks machines can bring in money and also create litter so you will also need to place litter bins to save your handymen having to sweep it up. Fire extinguishers in rooms with equipment are there to reduce the chances of machines breaking down.
Other events may occur in the hospital, sometimes the doctors won't be able to reach a diagnosis and will give you a percentage diagnosis. You have the choice to send the patient home, take a chance and guess at the diagnosis or send them to the research room which discretely 'get's rid' of your patients. If the public uncover your research facility your hospital's reputation will be affected.
If you get a diagnosis wrong, or a patient isn't treated fast enough then unfortunately they will die. When this is about to happen a skull will appear over their heads, in some cases you can move his person to the front of a queue to try and get them treated, in other cases you just won't have time. If the patient dies the grim reaper will appear beside them, the floor will open up and they will disappear into flames in the ground before floating off into the sky.
Epidemics occur too, you must treat all patients with the epidemic as soon as possible by zapping them and moving them to the front of queues, if you treat all patients with the epidemic before your time runs out you will be given a reward.
Emergencys, you will receive a fax notifying you of an emergency, if you have the staff and equipment to treat the illness you will have to treat these patients in a time limit. The patients will arrive by helicopter and go straight to the treatment room without diagnosis, if you treat them all in time you will get a bonus.
If you don't have the facilities to treat the emergency you can decline to accept the emergency.
A VIP may also visit, you will get a little bit of warning about their visit. You must make sure your hospital is running smoothly and is clean while the VIP is there. If they are impressed with your hospital they will give you a cash reward.
Throughout the game the receptionist makes announcements over a tannoy system which are very funny so I like to play this game with the volume turned up. Some of my favourites are:
"Patient's are reminded not to die in the corridors"
"Morgue Patients are asked to be as quiet as possible"
In comparison with some of the more recent games for PC, the graphics for this game seem pretty poor. This does not in any way take away from the fun of the game though. The levels increase in difficulty, making them challenging but not nearly impossible as with some games.
Using the fax machine you can put in a number to activate cheats, you can cheat by speeding up the year or increasing your cash but I don't think there is any need to cheat in this game and think it takes away from the fun of it.
Every member of my family has played this at some stage, I think it's suitable for all ages and definitely one worth buying as it will provide hours and hours of fun. This remains one of my all time favourite games.
Summary: Excellent game that doesn't get old