Uncomfortably numb? (Durex Performa Condoms)

Member Name: LadyAudley

Product:	Durex Performa Condoms
Date:	21/01/08 (8066 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Excellent for toothache.

Disadvantages: Anaesthetizing

Durex make some big claims for their Performa condoms. The packaging, the advertising and the higher price suggest that these are for the discerning guy who really wants to wow his woman. According to the manufacturers, these aren't just a barrier contraceptive, oh no! They're a sex aid, which promises to improve your performance from average to tantric in a flash.

'How do they do that?' I hear you cry. Well, according to Durex themselves, these babies 'contain a special lubricant in the end of the condom that helps to delay climax for men, prolonging sexual excitement'. Open the packet, and you'll find that these do look a little different: there's a splodge of white cream at the end of each condom.

Sounds good huh? So what is this magic ingredient that gives you more, er, bang for your buck? I decided to take a closer look to see if I could find out. You can find the answer in the small print on the box. These babies contain '5% benzocaine'!!!!!

Why the slightly hysterical exclamation marks? Well, Benzocaine is a LOCAL ANAESTHETIC. As Wikipedia says, it's 'commonly used as a topical pain reliever. It is the active ingredient in many over-the-counter analgesic ointments, including oral pain relievers such as Orajel and topical pain relievers such as Lanacane.' In other words, this is a substance you'd normally be likely to find applied to your teeth while sitting in the dentist's chair.

Alright, I'm not a guy so I can hardly comment on the effectiveness of this as a sex aid. But even if I had the, uh, requisite equipment to road test this product, I'm not sure I'd want local anaesthetic anywhere near that particular part of my body. Though I knew that I was violating my sacred duty as a dooyooer, after my SO reported feelings of peculiar numbness, I wussed out of giving these a thorough road test, leaving that task to braver and more pioneering souls.

I suppose you could carry a pack around in case you get toothache, though.

Summary: This is for braver souls!