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How not to amuse your Miner Bird
Bird Entertainment in General
Member Name: Cammij
Bird Entertainment in General
Date: 27/07/01, updated on 27/07/01 (1371 review reads)
Advantages: Good sturdy plastic, spins without squeaking
Disadvantages: Gets ate up fast
This is an excellent toy that will keep a bird busy for days. Unfortunately my Miner Bird prefferred other avenues of entertainment that ultimately resulted in his premature death. This wheel was a lot of fun. My bird would balance something on it and then yell "Order up" and spin the wheel making the stuff fly across the room. I thought that was funny at my age.
The wheel was good and it did not squeak like so many other toys we went through, and understand this, you do go through lots of toys as birds will gnawl at them when you are not home. But it was a good value and of decent construction
First off, why do they call a miner bird a miner bird? They don't puts these in mines, they used to use canaries to test for unsafe levels of mine gas not talking exotic birds. I mean who under the world would use a $457 dollar talking bird to test for mine gas?
Anyways I had a talking bird and I bought him all the toys and stuff. I wanted to be like the guy on the captain morgan bottle and walk around with a bird on my Schalter but you learn real quickly birds treat your shirt live a privvy. And face it, birds basically are like the kids at highschool with the exchange students from france, they only want to learn how to say dirty stuff. And you can't walk around town with a foul mouthed fowl. So basically I had to leave him at home all the time. I did take him on the train one time (I am a locomotive driver of freight trains) and it took him about 4 minutes to figure out how to key the radio with his beak and say all sorts of profanity. In case you don't know it is like a big time offense with the FCC to cuss on the airwaves (re. Howard Stern). Now when we get these relay trains from West Virginia they always look like someone had their bird with them as there are always heaps of sunflower seed shells all over the floor but the actual bird poop really annoys people. Plus my bird got totally jacked that the guy I was w
orking with was eating at a rotissie chicken he bought from Boston Market. You would think that would scare my bird straight but he just flew all over the engine biting at us and cussing.
Turns out my birds,... I don't think it is right to say Mother-speak? Like how I say my MUTTERSPRACH in German? Is it mother voice? Mother language, Native tongue? Help me out in comments, OK? Anyways I thought my bird was just talking gibberish until one of the brazilians from our Jiu-jitsu club came over and busted up laughing and informed me my bird was gay and spoke Portugese. I guess it made sense cuz he was probaly from there or the people who brought him to America might have been from portugal, lots of fishermen and boat workers are. But his first words were in portugese so he is like multilingual.
Now here is where everything went wrong. Like most Americans who babysit their kids by setting them in front of the telly I did the same with my bird. He would repeat some stuff and about the time every jerk in America started saying, "is that your final answer" all the time, mny bird had already gotten over it and was saying, "Ah ha, you are the weakest like, ah-ha bye-bye"
He learned other stuff too. I don't use drugs but we still thought it was funny to make him say, "polly wants a crack rock"
But better than the TV he loved imitating the video games we would play for hours, no not hours but literally weeks on end, one time we went 143 hours without shutting off our Sega. We had this one stupid game where you have these red and blue toy pistols and you are a cop and you start off in a bank and have to shoot the robbers and save the hostages. I forget the name. you also do an airport and a highway in this game. But anyways the bird would imitate the sound of the automatics being cocked and liked the line "Die Copper" that the one bad guy says.
Now I am going to make a sweepin
g assumption that most of you do not ruitineally get your houses raided by law enforcement personell but then again you probaly do not engage in much illegal activity. But maybe you get the AMerican show Top Cops? It is wild in America, the cops go in ready for action, they have to, too much nonsense goes on on America's streets. But basically every police department has a special task force to handle big problems or bad situations. We call them SWAT for Special Weapons and Tactics or something. Just think about how the SAS goes in on their targets (although teh SAS is possibly the worlds top trained units and led by brave, intelligent, levelheaded men) well we have fat, ill trained,paranoid, trigger happy young punk cops trying to be the SAS all the time
Anyways the one day we rigged up my stereo and TV and all that crap with my Sega game system. I started to play and only had one shot on my game when I paused it because I thought I had blown a speaker. So I immediately went to Wal-Mart to get a new speaker and just left all my stuff there.
Pretty easy to figure out what happened. Nosey neighbors called the law, said they heard a gunshot (just so you know I had lawyers all over me trying to get me to sue the cops, but I felt it was just an honest mistake and just as much my poor parenting of my parrot as much as anybody elses negligence that led to this) I don't even need to tell you what happened. The neighbors told the cops they heard a shot in my apartment and then I went running outside and sped away (damn right I sped away, I needed another speaker). I don't blame anybody. My parrot was just too good with making that gun sound and saying "Die copper" and what would you do if you were reporting to the first potential killing in our town in 9 years and the first thing you hear when barging through the door is "Die copper" and the sound of a gun being cocked?
Just buy your bird nice toys and don
39;t rely on the TV so much like I did, that is the moral of the story.
Here is a joke to uplift you. FYI in the states it is unlawful to kill a bird of prey and you get heavey fines for it.
A man gets caught poaching a hawk and has to go before a judge for his trial. He pleads that he only shot the bird to feed his family and had never ever done anything like that before, it was just that he was out of work and his family was hungry and he did not know it was illegal to kill a hawk and he would never do anything like it again as he had never done any hunting before.
The judge was quite impressed by the man's demeanor and honesty and tale of poverty, and felt sorry for his circumstances. So the judge lets the guy off because he feels it is just an isolated incident and believes the guy didn't mean to kill a protected bird. As the defendant prepares to leave the courtroom the judge can't help himself, as he is an aavid duck hunter and has harvested his fair share of geese, "Hey buddy, I just have to know, what does a hawk taste like?"
The defendant shrugs his shoulders and replies, "Usually most the young ones taste like an owl but the older ones taste more like a cross between a bald eagle and a falcon"
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