Spotted Monsters (Dalmatian)

Member Name: Attacksushi

Product:	Dalmatian
Date:	15/04/04 (852 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: energetic, friendly, don't need extensive grooming

Disadvantages: overpowering, time-consuming, hereditary deafness

When I was a kid, my mother bought me these cute bendy plastic dogs: Pongo, Perdita and four of their puppies from the original Disney 101 Dalmatians. My Barbies had a great time with them. Sadly, we weren't allowed a real dog. Living in a small twelfth-floor flat in Hong Kong meant that there just wasn't enough space, so I had to wait impatiently for us to move to a bigger house.

Then we got some great news: a friend of my mother's was going on holiday, and they wanted us to look after their dog while she was away. As a canine-crazy kid, I was delighted when my parents said yes. On paper, Joey the Dalmatian sounded great. She was said to be toilet-trained, obedient, quiet and great with children. I couldn't wait for her to arrive.

As it turned out, my mother's friend wasn't telling the whole truth. Or, indeed, anything resembling the truth. Well, Joey did her business in the bathroom - as well as the kitchen, the living room, the computer room, the hallway and our bedrooms. Luckily for us, it was quite easy to spot the piles of dog turd on the floor. You see, my mother had a small business making fancy dress costumes. Because of this, she had lots of glitter, sequins and other boxes of sparklies. And Joey developed a taste for the glitter, particularly in the 'emerald' colour. Her turds were a fetching shade of glowing radiation-green. Pretty soon, our flat resembled something from a post-apocalyptic nuclear meltdown movie.

Joey was also extremely boisterous and energetic. She needed the kind of space that we just didn't have. We took her for long walks, but if my brother or I took hold of the leash, we'd get dragged off her feet. Dalmatians are big dogs. They're more than a handful. They need firm control and good training, or they end up
becoming four-legged nightmares. Oh, and they eat lots, and do it messily.

A common Dalmatian problem is deafness. Joey was partially deaf. I've trained dogs with all their faculties intact, and it's tough. I can't imagine how much time and patience you'd need to train a dog who can't hear.

Sadly, Joey wasn't my only bad Dalmatian experience. When I was a little older, visiting friends with a Dalmatian, the spotted menace got a bit too over-excited when greeting me and clipped my forehead with his teeth. This wasn't the first time that he'd done this to someone. Now, energy's all well and good - who wants a dog who's just going to sleep all day? - but too much is Not A Good Thing. Which is why I have to conclude that a Dalmatian is the right dog for you if you have twenty-three hours spare each day to train it, keep it exercised and fed. But not being in that number, I think that I'm going to stick to the plastic ones for a while.

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