-OFFICIAL GOVERNMENT WARNING- Poodles set to take over the world! (Poodle)

Member Name: Mush

Product:	Poodle
Date:	30/01/01 (707 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: There is still time to avert impending disaster.

Disadvantages: We may well be overrun by curly hounds.

***** Before we go any further, I would like to clarify my reasons for presenting the opinion in the following manner. It is the first time I have attempted to use surrealism to convey my opinion on something, and I feel it suits the subject matter somewhat.

When considering the following op, try to read between the lines, and read it as the opinioned artform that it was intended to be. Does it not make a nice change from standard reviews? In future, expect to see Mush ops in the form of Mime, Minimalism and Music.

And ask yourself, before bandying around a poor rating, would you SU Dali or Magritte?

Oh go on then...see if I care*****



Ever wondered quite why poodles look so...’different’?? As Official Government representative to Dooyoo (for this brief moment in time anyhow) I can reveal the horrific truth;

POODLES ARE ALIENS, SET TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

Scientific research using the most powerful telescopes, sophisticated tracking equipment and a fair whack of imagination has uncovered that Poodles are in fact hyper intelligent aliens from the Planet Dargaz III, which is rather a long way away.

The aliens discovered that dogs are human’s closest animal associates, so took on the canine form as closely as possible, before coming to earth in their hairdryer shaped craft. They didn’t get it quite right, hence the obscure appearance of a scrawny hound with an odd haircut and odder demeanor.

Alien Poodle research was found to be slightly flawed when they realised that dogs are not on the same level as humans – their activities confined to barking, running, fetching, mooching and general ‘doggie’ activities. Nonetheless they keep their form and observe our activities, disguised all the while as a randomly curly-haired ‘yapper type’ dog.

Poodles are, of course, simply biding their time before the ‘big push’. Yes,
readers, Poodles are going to TAKE OVER THE WORLD with the aid of their minions, who are none other than... old ladies with blue rinses!

No-one knows how the evil hounds and their elderly assistants will perform their terran conquest, but indications are that it may well involve horrors such as obscure knitted garments, cling film wrapped cakes containing dates, and doilies.

What can you do to help avert this impending disaster? All that the officials can recommend is that you do the following:

When you see a poodle, run up and point at it shouting ‘I KNOW THE TRUTH, EVIL HOUND CHARLATAN!!! BEGONE TO THE HATEFUL PLACE FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!!!’. Continue this for, oh, at least 10 minutes.

Have faith and courage in your convictions, even when the government officials in white coats take you away for your due reward.

Poodles...together we can crack them.


***UPDATE***
Sources have revealed that Poodles have a new minion in their bid to take over the world - Stick Insects! I would arm yourself with the knowledge of the insidious insectile menace that can be located in the Stick Insect op by 'Muffin_the_Mule'.

I am now of the suspicion that old ladies with blue rinses are actually large vehicles driven by Stick Insects...

It is suggested that you now avoid anything that looks like a stick. Or an old lady. May God guide your hand in repelling the alien menace.

Cheers

Mx


- Press VU...ready...set...now! -

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