Get on my Guinea Pig Love Train by Merlin Phoenix (Rodent and Small Pet Breeding in General)

Member Name: Johnny Phoenix

Product:	Rodent and Small Pet Breeding in General
Date:	19/08/02 (350 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Cute Babies, Companionship

Disadvantages: Extra Care, More Expense

Hi it’s Merlin Phoenix the Guinea Pig again. I thought I’d update you all with news of the new woman in my life.

Talking about My Girl
******************
Saturday was like any other day, the sun shining, the birds singing, etc. My house was moved from the garage out into the garden. I settled down to finish off some serious sitting down and staring that I had begun the previous evening.

Mr P was concerned about me - he said I looked fed up. The two rabbits had each other while all I had was an empty house. When Saturday afternoon came I was sat there chewing away on a nice pellet when my door opened and Mr P lifted me out carried me to a chair and sat down with me on his lap. It took me a second to adjust to the light but when I did there was a vision of loveliness before me.

Her eyes were as red and beautiful as a sunset on a warm night, her body was sleek and slender with brown stripes beautifully contrasted against her stark white fur.

“Rowwwwwr” I growled seductively. She blinked at me and responded with “meep, neep” which roughly translates to “Where the hell am I and what are you looking at”. I chuckled at her straightforward nature finding it endearing as I lurched forward to smell her behind.

“What exactly do you thing you are doing?” she protested indignantly. “I was just checking you out” I replied. “Yeah? Well check THIS out” she said as she head-butted me in the nose. I jumped back startled and looked at Mrs P who was holding her, Mr P pulled me away from her slightly and stroked my fur to calm me down. Mr and Mrs P discussed the importance of letting us get to know each other first before putting us in the run or Summerhouse. They seemed to be worried that I would just scare her if I tried on the Merlin Magic straight away.

Getting To Know Her
*****************
I looked back at her deep into her

red eyes “ So what’s your name then?” I asked politely. “Sapphire” she replied. “Nice name, you are indeed a jewe—“ I began in my deepest ‘lets hit the straw’ voice but she cut me off mid-sentence. “O.K. Merlin lets cut to the chase – I know you have been on your own for a while but a lady doesn’t want to be jumped on within five minutes of meeting, you have to wait until I’m ready”. “and that will be ….?” I ventured nervously. “not sure” she replied curtly, “I usually get in the mood every 21 days or so, I will let you know when I am ready”.

We sat there for about fifteen minutes gazing into each other’s eyes before Mr and Mrs P plopped us into the summerhouse. Sapphire darted for one end, still nervous about the giants. “They are nice y’know – I’ve been here for six months and they are very gentle” I assured her. She didn’t respond, she just sat with her back to me chewing cloverleaf. I absently chewed grass while all the while my eyes followed the hypnotic sway of her striped rump. She had said a girl doesn’t want to be jumped on within five minutes and since about twenty minutes had now passed, I figured she might be ready to sample the goods.

I crept slowly and soundlessly towards her, stopping only to flick an irritated look at the four gleeful faces peering into the run from all directions. Still the desire I was feeling overcame any modesty that I had from having an audience and I was close enough now to have a quick sniff. As I inhaled I let out a “Corrrrr” that just refused to be suppressed and Sapphire spun on her heel and gave me a left right combination that startled me. I dove headfirst into a small pile of hay.

“For gods, sake Merlin” I heard her say exasperatedly.

Rejection
*******
Rejected, I che
wed m
iserably on grass that somehow tasted bitterer than it had before, with tears welling up, I looked up at Mr P, who looked down with sadness reflecting my own. Pangs of guilt forced him to break the mutual look and he flicked through the pages of a book with a picture of someone that looked like my father on the front. “It will take her a while to get used to her new environment and Merlin” he announced, “once she settles in, she will be a lot friendlier” he advised a concerned Mrs P.

As I was digesting this information I listened in horror to his next suggestion “Or…..” he said with a smile, “we could just have her stuffed. So he could have her at his leisure”. He laughed as Mrs P launched a slap at him with a smile on her face. He caught the blow before it landed, pulled her wrist gently and used her momentum to bring her in for a kiss. Suddenly I understood, a love tap must be a natural part of the romantic process and Sapphire had hit me twice. Quickly I ran to sapphire and whacked her in the face with my nose “Son of a B----“ she began. As I looked into the burning red eyes I realised my folly as she bore down on me, a left-right combination followed by a head-butt answered any further questions I might have had.

I spent the rest of the afternoon apologising and showing her round my summerhouse and gradually we started to grow closer. At one stage, Mr P tried to stroke her and she hid behind me. Winking at me Mr P held his hands up and backed off. “Whoa big guy, I’m not coming between a guy protecting his woman”.
I winked my silent thank you back at him and curled my body around her protectively. We lay there in the shade together our bodies resting against each other, our hearts beating as one for the rest of the afternoon. Occasionally, I would nuzzle her and she would move closer, the smell of her fur was intoxicating but I restrained myself
, somehow
I began to sense that she wasn’t ready or willing yet to receive my affections.

Later that evening, we moved to my main house and I showed her around. She made herself at home and I let her have the bedroom whilst I sat in the main room thinking about my new companion. Mr and Mrs P came in now and again to look and they said I looked more miserable than ever now because she was rejecting me. They looked at me with such sadness in their eyes. Whilst it is true that I was feeling a little low, at least I had someone to talk to now and every three weeks I would get to show her my best moves. But I had to be patient, I knew that now.

Kids
****
Sapphire is about 3 months old and she has to breed before she is seven months old or her pubic bone will fuse and she’ll never be able to have kids. This would be dangerous if she wasn’t seen to, because she could be pregnant with no way to give birth, so the way I look at it, I’m doing her a favour!!

I overheard the giants saying that they were going to let us have one litter and then they were going to have Sapphire “Done”.. Apparently, Sapphire will be fertile again within 16 hours of giving birth, so we have to be separated for a bit until they make sure she can’t have any more. Otherwise, she could actually be nursing a litter and be pregnant at the same time. Once she is pregnant, we will have sixty-three days or so until the kids arrive but apparently the larger the number of kids we are going to have – the shorter the pregnancy. Then, Sapphire will go off to the Vet for the op. Then the lads and girls will have to be separated after about six weeks because that’s when they reach their sexual maturity. After all, I don’t want six fingered three-legged grandchildren with noses for ears. Mrs P wants to give our children to good homes, but secretly I think Mr P will try to convince her to let them stay with us. It
will be hard fo
r the giants to predict when the babies will be born, since us guinea pigs don’t build nests like rabbits.

Mrs P read in the book that we could have six or seven litters of up to six kids each year although the average is three. The book advises that we shouldn’t be allowed to have more than three litters in any one year. The problem with even keeping one kid is that if it’s a boy, It might start getting cocky in which case I might have to give him a smack. He may start getting immoral ideas about his mother – in which case we would both have to give him a smack. If it were a girl, I would have to be separated in case I couldn’t control my own instincts to mate. But if we just had kids of the same sex at least they could be together and wouldn’t be lonely, but Sapphire and I would have to spend our days watching our kids through a wire fence.

Our babies are born quite mature. They are large and furry and can walk. They have teeth and their eyes are open. They can eat solid food and drink water from a container straightaway but its better if they are allowed to nurse their mother for at least 2 weeks.

I don’t know what will happen yet but If the kids have to go to good homes then so be it because once Sapphire has been done, we can be together forever and I will try to make the next five years of our long lives together wonderful. You see - I knew straight away from the first moment that I laid eyes on her that I was in love and I will love her until the end of our days. Sooner or later she will love me too and from my calculations, it will be within the next two weeks, heh heh heh…meep.

Update: 11 October 2002.
*********************
Despite, some of my best efforts, i have still been unable to produce any offspring.

We laugh and joke, but what do you do when a girl would rather chew hay than roll in it ?

I've tried some of my best
lines in vain but, "hey babe, you got a nice big hairy rump" has just fell on deaf ears. I am beginning to suspect that my so called "mate" is actually a lesbian guinea pig. After all the two rabbits are lesbians, so she probably thinks that is normal.

I'll try to keep you updated.

Bye for now

Merlin

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