Boring pets? I think not! (Tortoise)

Member Name: Toby113

Product:	Tortoise
Date:	31/01/02 (738 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: They live outside, you don't have to clean them up!, They sleep in winter, you don't have to worry bout them getting cold., Entertaining, easy to feed

Disadvantages: Not really cute and cuddly, They eat up all your lettice

Contrary to poplular belief, tortoises are not not the slowest animals around, they are actually quite fast! I have two tortoises, and in the summer, when it is hot, their shells are like solar panels, and they soak in the sunlight and speed off into the distance...

Now i must admit, the distance is only the end of my garden, but they do go surprisingly fast - probably about the speed of a slow human walk, (which would make them illegal under clissoldjones' dictatorship!). Also, it is blindingly obvious that snails and slugs (also illegal under clissoldjones' dictatorship) are much slower than these cute little reptiles.

Tortoises (often confused with turtles by dumb americans, and under-educated English) are portrayed as pointless pets, because of their lack of activity. Actually my two tortoises - Tommy and Oscar are extremely entertaining, and i have spent many a sunny afternoon and warm summer's evening sitting in the garden with a cold beer, watching Tommy and Oscar frolic about the garden. Also if you want a little extra excitment in both your life and your pets', you borrow a female of the species and watch the two males fight to mount the unexpecting female from behind.

This provides hours of entertainment (for both) and is far better viewing than Eastenders! There is violence, (Tommy and Oscar Fighting) Romance, (a bit of hanky panky with Delila, the female) and tears, (when one of the males is rejected!).

This silent reptilian soap opera is sadly over at the end of the summer, when they have to hibernate for winter, but I am looking forward to this summer when I will be out most afternoons to watch the drama unfold, (live) before my eyes...

Tortoises are clean, well-behaved, easy to keep, they don't bite the postman, and they eat salad foods and any soft food left-overs.

Long live tortoises!!!!

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