Some people talk it ... (Rhubarb)

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Product:	Rhubarb
Date:	14/05/02 (795 review reads)
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Advantages: Tasty, and, easy to grow !

Disadvantages: Posionous if used wrongly !

... although most of us eat it.

As my alltime favourite fruit type plant (although it is technically a veggie, yes a surprise I know) and a cool sounding category, I fell that I should dedicate a little review to rhubarb.

Assuming that everybody knows what rhubarb tastes like (it is hard to describe, quite tart but tangy too) and as you all know the main ingrediant of rhubarb is ,of course, rhubarb, I will just have to stick to how to grow one of the few things I actually can grow (along with geraniums and sunflowers) and if I have energy at the end I will through in a few recipes stolen off my girlfriends mum.

GROWING RHUBARB - THE BASICS:

Rhubarb sends up it's new leaves in spring and dies back in autumn (fall for any Americans reading). The reddish green leafstalks are the edible part; never eat the leaves, which are very poisonous. Divide rhubarb (to grow more of it) in late winter or early spring, setting the individual new plants them three to four feet apart to give them space to grow. Let the rhubarb grow for two full seasons before eating for the best tasting rhubarb.


PLANTING RHUBARB - LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION ....

Rhubarb grows best with at least six hours of full sun each day. Avoid both shady spots in your garden and plant the rhubarb by itself so it doesn't have to compete with other plants, also avoid shady spots such as trees and large bushes for the above two reasons. It's also important to choose a spot protected from cold winds in spring and hot, dry winds in summer, in other words any extreme conditions ! Try near a fence, but not too near. Low-lying areas of your garden will of course catch the frost so avoid them as well.

Rhubarb can be grown more efficiently in wide beds. To do this, you prepare a bed about three feet wide, then sprinkle (a very technical term) the seeds over it rather than planting them in rows. This gives everything plenty of space to grow,
and if planting baby rhubarb plants, plant them fairly randomly, they arn't pretty plants and you are going to eat them don't forget.


GROW IT BIG:

Look after your rhubarb, keep it well watered and remove any weeds growing around it, and keep it nicly fertilised. As long as you give your rhubarb care and attention rhubarb has no specific needs aprt from rhubarb being a heavy feeder so prepare the bed with at least two inches of compost and work it well into the soil in the bed. Rhubarb is easily looked after, even if just at weekends.


DIG IT UP:

To get that rhubarb out of the grouns, grab a stalk at the base and pull it down and away from the plant with a sharp pull. Be careful not to strip the plant of too many stalks as this will mean that you won't get your rhubarb returning next year - always leave a few stalks remaining so it grows back. At least one third of the stalks should be left on the plant at a rough estimate. If in the new year new stalks grow back thin (less than a half inch), don't panic, just leave this plant alone for a year and do not pick any because the thin stalks are an indication that plant needs time to "rest" after you whacked to much rhubarb off it last year.


DURING THE WINTER:

In reference to above, don't whack oof the dead leaves during the winter of the rhubaab won't come back - just think of it like a daffodil, the way it needs this years leaves to grow back.


TUCK IN !

Anyway that wasn't as painful as I thought so I am going to chuck a few select recipes in and then take a break for some rhubarb jam on toast ... yummy ...

Well in that case I should start with jam ....


VERY, VERY EASY RHUBARB JAM:

Ingredients:

Five cups diced rhubarb
One small can crushed pineapple (drain it first!)
Two cups of (jam) sugar (jam sugar is nicer I find)
Packet of jelly (straw
berry or raspberry, rhubarb if you can get it)

Cookin' it:

Mix all the ingredients and let stand for tow hours, then boil it all for just over ten minutes. Remove all this from the heat add the packet jelly, stir well so that it is all mised together and pot it into an empty jam jar or an empty lunch box.

This will keep well in the fridge and you can freeze it.

Sorry if you can't follow any of that, I am trying to remember everything and type it before I forget !?


VERY, VERY (AGAIN!) RHUBARB TART:

Ingredients:
Crust:

One mug of all purpose flour
Quarter teaspoon of salt
One stick chilled unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
Quarter cup sugar
Two large egg yolks
Two tablespoons (or more if needed) iced water
Three tablespoons apricot jam

Filling:

Onw cup sugar
Third mug cup water
Some lemon zest (add to taste)
One cinnamon stick (brake in half)
Two pounds fresh rhubarb diced to the size you want

I hope thats everything, if you see anything in the instructions not in my list, run to nearest cupboard and grab !

Cookin' it:
Crust:

Mix you flour and salt in a food processor or by hand until well mixed. Add your butter and mix in well on a slow speed, until your mixture resembles coarse meal (think breakfast museli). Add the sugar and egg yolks and mix, or give a very quick blitz in the processor. Add those two tablespoons of water and blitz again just until moist clumps form. If your dough is too dry, add more water slowly to moisten. Gather your dough into a big ball and flatten inta a disc. Wrap it in clingfilm and refrigerate until the dough is firm enough to roll, hopefully around thirty minutes in the fridge. Alternativly buy it down in your local Tesco.

Preheat your oven to 350oF. Roll out that chilled dough disk on a floured surface (your chooping board). Transfer to your (well gr
eased) pie dish (removable bottom ones are good for this). Trim you crust to overhang to around a quarter inch. Fold you overhang in, creating double-thick sides. Whack in the freezer for fifteen minutes.

After this line the crust with foil, then fill with dried beans or those little ceramic posh things. Bake until sides are set, which should take around twenty minutes (less if you have a fan oven). Remove the foil and beans/posh thingys, and continue to bake until the crust is golden brown, piercing any bubbles gently with a fork for a further fifteen minutes. Brush your crust with jam and bake until the jam is set hard, which should take about five minutes more. Transfer the dish to window ledge and leave to cool.

Not finished yet !

Filling:

Combine you sugar and water in heavy large pan over low heat, and stir until sugar all dissolves. Add that lemon zest and cinnamon, increasing your heat to bring to the boil. Then add the rhubarb and continue to boil for five minutes before reducing the heat to medium/low. Cover the pan and simmer until rhubarb is just beginning to soften, which should take about five minutes. Remove pan from heat and leave to stand (covered to keep the heat in) until the rhubarb is tender, again about fifteen minutes. Eventually uncover and cool completely.

Using a slotted spoon or a fish slice if you are feeling lucky, remove the rhubarb the juice and arrange in circles in your crust. Take this liquid and reduce it to a syrup, which you then cool and spoon over your rhubarb. Sprinkle with iceing sugar. Enjoy.


Ok, only one more because my fingers are getting sore and work is nearly over.


CURRIED LENTILS WITH POTATO AND RHUBARB

I only ever tried this because I love curry.

Ingredients:

One cup of dried orange lentils
One very large sweet potato, peeled and sliced
One tablespoon of (olive) oil
One cup of rhubarb, mediumly diced

One tablespoon curry powder (to taste)
One teaspoon of ginger root, grated
One teaspoon of hot red chili powder
Salt and pepper (to taste)
A quarter cup of shredded coconut

Cookin' it:

Cover your lentils with water in a large pot, bring to the boil for a few minutes, then reduce the heat and add the raw sweet potato slices (chips if ya cookin' it for ya mates). LKet this simmer until soft (around an hour). Remove from the heat, drain carefully, and leave to cool. Preheat your oven to four hundred degrees. Meanwhile heat some oil in a skillet, and once hot, add that rhubarb. Slighty reduce heat and cook until the rhubarb tender. Stir in salt and pepper and even a little sugar if the rhubaab is particulary tart. Mix with the drained, cooked lentils and potatoes (you can mash these together or leave them the way they are). Pop into a pyrex dish and bake at four hundred degrees until piping hot, this should take around twenty minutes. Garnish with grated coconut and serve with chutney, rice and naan bread. You can also throw some chicken in with this if you like your meat.

Anyway I totally give up now and have run out of time, but hope this helps a freshed you ideas a little at least ! And now finally on a more morbid note:

A word of warning:

Rhubarb leaf ingestion:

The body:
One will experience weakness, burning of your mouth, eventually death from cardiovascular collapse (a heart attack).

The respiratory system:
Difficulty breathing through your nose and mouth, burning in your throat.

The gastrointestinal system:
Experience of abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea.

The nervous system:
Convulsions, leading to a comatose state and eventual cardiovascular collapse.

Enjoy !

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