The Sims - Worst game ever? You decide. (The Sims (PS2))

Member Name: qrf1

Product:	The Sims (PS2)
Date:	28/05/03 (446 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: read the op

Disadvantages: read the op

When you hear the word 'Sims' what do you think of? The classic game range by Maxis, developers of Sim City, Sim Farm and Sim Tower? Or maybe it aims you towards the EA Games series, consisting of The Sims, The Sims House Party and its respective series? No, I'm not talking about a classic game series which is loved by millions around the world but the EA game that has been branded by millions of intrepid gamers around the world either the best - or the worst - game ever. Even though EA own Maxis, these games are worlds apart. Here's my point of view - and I don't understand how it's been in the top game charts for so long!

You start with the box - you see 'The Sims' and think ah! Maybe it's a new game by the classical developers Maxis! But then you notice 'EA Games' on the bottom of the box, which makes you think 'Well, if it's got 'Sim' in it, it must be good! I mean, EA own Maxis, so it must be the same developers! Even on the back it's in Arabic, so if the Middle East have it, it must be super good!' Then one purchases/borrows/rents the game, and what appears inside? A Game DVD and a manual. Let's look at the manual:
Split into two areas I see - An English section and an Arabic section - ideal for selling it to many nations across the world, or merely depersonalising the experience? So what does it mention/fail to mention in the introduction? The second sentence, 'You don't just watch your Sims' lives unfold, you are an active participant' fails to mention the fact that you have to cater for their needs, rather like a baby sitter, and who wants to play a game where you baby-sit a few people who wont stop complaining? Back to that later - but to the rest of the manual. In short, the rest of the manual, rather than describing what to do in the game, describes what the controls do rather than successfully applying them to the game - which in other
words is a bit like maths - what's the point if there's no application? I'll let you decide - but here's how the game played:

OK, nice big flashy start-up screen - what you would expect. Here comes the main menu with some awful sound! Are people meant to live with this crap music, or merely writhe around on the floor clutching their ears while simultaneously trying to skewer themselves on the control pad? The main menu gives you some unexpected opinions - 'Get A Life' (from those hypocrites at EA), 'Options' (Well, duh), and 'Credits' (Has anyone ever clicked on the credits button, unless there was some sort of cheat? Come on EA, think!!!). 'Get A Life' is the one player mode - you raise from the depths of your parents cabin into a grand mansion of your own - that's if you haven't plucked out your eyes, eaten them and then ripped out your voice box after ten minutes. Given a set of tasks for each level, you have to guide your created character to do the house chores, entertain them and make them sleep every now and then. You can go get a meal from the fridge, or set alight the oven as you can't cook. Read a book - or electrocute yourself trying to fix the TV. Try and guide your Sim to the toilet before they wet themselves - oh no they can't wait now they have to clean up the mess, sort out an annoyed parent and then go take a bath. Oh no, your hygiene isn't high enough so all the water spills out of the bath so now you stink and have to spend two hours trying to clear up the bathroom. Sound like a fun game yet?

When you travel further on into the mist known to some as 'Hell', you have the opportunity to upgrade your 'pad'. Either brighten up the walls with some polka dot wallpaper, add another floor to the house or get a bigger TV - what, you haven't got enough money? Then go grab the paper outside the house to find yourself a job. What you need t
he toilet again? Sheesh! (more cleaning of the floor - more time wasted) SO now you've found a job - now you have to plan your day ahead. But wait, because the phone keeps ringing and people keep visiting your house you haven't had time to go to sleep and now work comes. What you're too depressed to go to work - then spend your first day of work in bed. But you can't sleep because your random parents keep knocking on the door, or they keep coming in your house and turning on that new TV you bought. Grrrrr. So here comes the next day - you're all ready for work and you trundle off to work. While you're working and your stress level rises, a burglar comes in and nicks that TV. So when you get back everything is broken and you have to spend the next two days dealing with fires and parents ringing around. Now look - you've missed two days at work - you're sacked! Now look, the bills have arrived and you can't afford them. Game Over. Not really 'Get A Life', more like 'Screw up someone else's and get blamed for it and feel like What The Hell Was That?'

So if you eventually advance further enough in one player mode, a two player mode appears. With all the bonus items you received by successfully completed tasks in one player mode, you can do the same load of crap all over again! Not only does it become really boring really quick, but the game really does suck; your Sim has eight bars and needs them to be over 50% most of the time. But there's a problem - there are things that the Sim must do: go to work/school, pay bills. In order to do this they need to at roughly 90% happiness. But due to their own lack of thought, you need to think for them - let's go to sleep to increase energy. As you sleep, you get fired and lose a lot of money, but also your hunger level rises and your bladder level rises. So you get out of bed in order to make breakfast - and in the process start a fire and
soil yourself.

The Sims repeats this roughly every ten minutes. With some of the worst music ever, coupled with graphics of people who look as rigid as cardboard with extra starch, EA really have got lucky with the amount of units sold. I mean, if you were to purchase the whole series of games on PC, you would spend over £150 - on one game!!!!!!! Has anyone ever spent more than £150 on a new game or a whole series? Its sounds like those 7-11 year olds who look at this game and say 'Mummy! Can I have that!' are getting their wishes come true. If there was any time to become suicidal, this would be it. If there was any time to hate your 7-11 year old schizophrenic side, this would be it. It's a game - make your own opinion. This was mine.

Incidentally, last week my friend asked a group of us what we thought was the worst game ever. It was weird, as in one unanimous voice 'The Sims' was uttered. But don't let me stop you funding EAs coffers to make more - oh no.

Advantages:

If you were the head of EA, sitting there in your sheepskin jacket smoking a cigar and swirling a glass of brandy....

Disadvantages:

Music
No eye sockets
Will to live decreasing...
Will to live decreasing...
Will to live gone....

qrf1

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