A steaming pile of poo (Bad Heir Day - Wendy Holden)

Member Name: Glory_FishesII

Product:	Bad Heir Day - Wendy Holden
Date:	28/11/04 (330 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: It ended

Disadvantages: It began

Yes, yes, I'm feeling rather opinionated this weekend. Nothing hormonal just that I have a thousand buzzing opinions in my head and boy have I got a bee in my bonnet about this book.

I enjoy those throw away chick bubblegum pink books as much as the next sentimental fool. But this book really is a big pile of hot steaming cow plop and I am annoyed that I ever put my foot in it. Can't I just leave my op at that or shall I expand so you can avoid this book?

Now before I begin to talk about the plot which is about as wafer thin as Kate Moss on a diet, can I just say that I absolutely hate being totally against a book. I have searched for some redeeming qualities but this has been a mission beyond my ken.

Anna Farrier, is a seemingly intelligent woman in her twenties. She has an Oxbridge degree and an insecurity complex the size of Mars.

We see her as the girlfriend of a heir to a fortune in manure, which is highly ironic because that is what Seb Lavenham seems to have for brains. While at the wedding of Seb's exgirlfriend Miranda 'Melons' and his friend Thoby 'Bollocks' Anna realises that she is far to dumpy and frumpy to fit in this cellulite free world where women have thighs the size of lollysticks.

Anna wants to be a writer, but doesn't really know how to go about it, until she meets the rather machevellian Geri at the wedding reception.

For some reason Anna thinks taking life changing advice from someone you met for five minutes while you're intoxicated is the way forward.

So Anna (size 16, ginger and insecure) becomes friends with Geri (lithe and unbelievably well groomed).

Why does genre persist on placing such an emphasis on appearances? It really does grate that women are still judged in that way. I am not a feminist, but Holden is just doing this genre as a child would a paint by numbers book. Can we for once have a REAL woman to read about... even Bridget Jones ended up being a bit of an antihero in my eyes.

Ok, I am breathing serenely and remembering my inner poise, sorry about the rant but I am a passionate woman at times.

Anyhow, Geri's plan works and Anna is offered a job by Cassandra Knight, sort of Jackie Collins type figure who currently has writer's block. I suppose there's only so many times you can use the phrase throbbing manhood. Throbbing manhood. Throbbing manhood, see even I'm bored of it now.

Besides being a money grabbing old lush with the morals of an alley cat, Cassandra is married to an ageing rock star, Jett who gives a new meaning to the words Rod Stewart. They have a child called Zak, who goes to the most exclusive of schools and has classmates with terribly posh names like Otto and Sienna.

Whether Holden expected her novel to be a wry obsevation of the upper to middle classes I don't know, but one thing is for certain, it is about as funny as a poke in the eye with a very large stick.

If you find the idea of Jackie Collins masturbating in a toilet at a children's birthday party, hilarious, rush out and buy this book.

Anna then meets the seemingly lovely heir Jamie and he asks her to marry him, but with his estate falling down around his ears and the seeming charisma of a well boiled cabbage without any salt, it is far from fairytale.

What will happen to Cassandra now Anna has left? Will Anna realise her life is more of a shambles than the ruined Dampie Castle?

Holden does not provide any impeteus to read this book. I do not feel attatched or indeed remotely interested in any of the characters, but for the sake of my sanity and three packets of biscuits later, I struggled to the end and when I got there, then I was glad.

£5.99

Summary: