Across the Cultural Divide. (The Bonesetter's Daughter - Amy Tan)

Member Name: QueenElf

Product:	The Bonesetter's Daughter - Amy Tan
Date:	13/05/08 (191 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Captivating story, historically fascinating.

Disadvantages: See Review

Across the Cultural Divide.

Ruth Young has a problem that seems insurmountable. The daughter of an American father (deceased) and a Chinese mother, whose health is failing and a long-term but unstable relationship with her boyfriend, Art and his two growing girls, she has little time to herself. In her late forties she no longer expects marriage or her own children, but she seems to be running around after everyone and getting little back in return.
This might seem a familiar modern-day problem, but it's compounded by Ruth's mother, the strong-minded but increasingly forgetful LuLing Liu Young. Because of her Chinese background her English is not as fluent as her native tongue, which can cause confusion. But this time, on a doctor's visit, it's clear that LuLing is not going to be able to live alone much longer.

While her mother stays with her own sister and family, Ruth goes through the accumulation of debris in her mother's house. Shocked to find rotting food and other evidence of neglect, Ruth feels obliged to stay with her mother while Art and the girls go away on holiday. Its then that she discovers a pile of papers in her mother's fine writing. It appears that LuLing has been recording her own past and that of her family in China over a period of years.
It's the resulting tale that takes up a large part of the story, but past, present and future intermingle as Ruth's story also has it's own place in the narrative.

Amy Tan is well-known for her abilities to write of China in the 1920's and 1930's. Her books have a rare quality of timelessness and the rich language of the past. But in this book she tackles the problems of dealing with an older parent while still trying to lead a life of her own. It comes to many of us in our lifetime and isn't any easier whether or not we have other family around. The language of the elderly person doesn't run on the same wave-length as a younger person, but we learn to cope. Referring to the past is something that many older people do. (I do it myself quite often and I'm only in my 50's). Sometimes the past can be clearer than the present and events of long ago are sharper in the mind.

Amy Tan uses this written story to portray the hidden life of a woman in the days when they were little more than slaves, chattels to be used and traded in marriage. The bonesetter's daughter of the title is LuLing's real mother, although she never found this out until it was almost too late. This leads to rich characters and a storyline that is a joy to read. The very title of the village deep in the mountains of China, Immortal Heart, is evocative of secrets, hidden treasures and a love story that defies convention. There is also a little bit about the history of the times and the Japenese invasion.

Yet it is also about mothers and daughters and the bonds between them. Bonds that sometimes stretch almost to breaking point, but survive because of shared history. In this book Ruth, at one time ashamed of her mother, now starts to learn that there is more to her mother than she ever believed possible. It will lead Ruth to question her own relationships and her own worth.

I loved this book but found the first part hard going. The first chapter narrated by LuLing and entitled Truth, was so hauntingly beautiful that I wanted the whole story straight away. Instead, Tan makes the correct choice of starting in the present with Ruth a grown woman and LuLing's own story doesn't pick up again for about 140 pages. These first pages do cover the years when Ruth is growing up in 1960's America though and how difficult the mother/daughter relationship became without understanding of things that daughters need to know. (It can be funny in a sad sort of way). I am sure that we are all guilty of ignoring our parents when we were growing up and thinking that they couldn't hope to know what we were going through.

In the final part of the book, the story has been told and now Ruth has to face the future, knowing a great deal more about her mother than she expected to. She recognises certain traits that she has inherited from her mother and grandmother. Some that makes her strong and resourceful, others that underline the characteristic of mixed cultures. The need to be useful and how it's almost impossible to say "no" to someone asking a favour. The subjugation of one's self for the perceived greater good of loved ones. Not all women from different races act like this and many of the same background can be totally opposite.
I read this last part with a deeper understanding of myself, and I don't mean that lightly.
I was a carer for my mother for some years before she died almost exactly 5 years ago. We had a difficult relationship and at times I thought her failing memory was both a blessing and a curse. Those last few months I had with her were special though, as I heard the love and caring in her memories of early family life.

The final chapter had me in constant tears, and I imagine that others will feel the same. I think that the story would appeal mostly to women, though I imagine men would get the same pleasure from different parts of it. I loved the uplifting ending and found it exactly as it should be. Nothing false, nothing exaggerated to bring on the tears. Just a brief moment of true togetherness, which is all anyone can ever really expect of family.

You can buy the book new from about £4.99 at Amazon and from 1p used. Mine was another good charity shop buy at £1.50.

© Lisa Fuller May 2008.

Summary: A story about families and how cultures affect attitudes.