Are Ms Ford's Expectations Too High? (The Contented Little Baby Book - Gina Ford)

Member Name: jusophine

Product:	The Contented Little Baby Book - Gina Ford
Date:	02/02/01 (213 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Some Good Basic Advice

Disadvantages: Sets Impossible Standards And Timetables To Keep Up With!

This is one of those books whose reputation goes around like wild fire amongst new parents in need of solutions to age old problem concerned with childcare. Parent and baby magazines review it giving it an excellant write up, and friends discuss it at get togethers; "Have you not read it yet? Oh you should it's REALLY good!" It's hailed as the miracle book that will get your baby to sleep through the night within days of it's purchase.

You haven't had a decent nights sleep for what feels like months, your nerves are on edge, you are sleep deprived, and basically you would use any advice if it resulted in more than 4 hours of blissful sleep. It may be your second or third baby, but your chronic tiredness has left you short of confidence, brain power has diminished, and you ignore all your instincts, not to mention your own ideas and experiences.

Ms Ford has written this guide following '12 years of research and study' into the sleep rhythms and feeding patterns of babies from birth. Her book goes into lengthy details about timetables for feeding, changing, winding, putting down to sleep and all other daily activities in your babies life. The back of her book states;
'Gina's SECRET is simple, once you've established a routine, everything else will follow.' And so your life with the perfect baby will commence, or will it? Does she know something we don't? The problem I feel is that Gina has based her research on looking after other peoples babies as a maternity nurse. It's a very different ball game when you are looking after your own baby 24 hours a day. I tried to stick to her advice for a 48 hour period because I was finding my baby was basically nocturnal. This would not have been so bad were it not for the fact that I also had a busy 18 monther to look after as well. The book demands that your baby should be awake, fed and changed no later than 7am. Fine, but not when you,ve been aw
ake half the night and this time may be your only chance to sleep before your other child wakes up! O.K so structuring the day to fit in as many of your babies calorific needs during the day time, and not letting them sleep for long periods may mean that many babies sleep through the night and are happy, but not all and not mine.

Ms Ford also has a lot to say about babies crying, even quoting that most books and research states that very young babies can cry for between 2 and 4 hours a day. How ever she states that she would be 'absolutely horrified' if any of HER babies cried for even 1 hour a day! SHE only lets them FUSS for 10 or 20 minutes at a time. She must be one hell of a maternity nurse if thats all they do. Although she outlines the reasons why babies cry, she does not really stress that crying is actually good and a normal thing. Endorphins, for instance, the bodies natural pain killers, have been found in tears. We feel better after a cry so why shouldn't they. My baby cried for several hours every evening despite feeding, bathing, changing and giving her colic drops, it was extremely stressful, but no harm came to her.

At the end of the day it is a lottery what kind of baby you get, and you can not expect too much in the first 12 weeks. It's hard, but I think it's important to go with your baby's needs. I abandoned the book and since my baby has started to get herself into her own routine. She doesn't want to be awake all night and sleep all day, missing out on the daily goings on. A friend recomended the book to me saying how it had worked for her. When a few weeks later I told her I had ditched the book, she confessed that her child had reverted back to waking several times a night!

The book gives some pretty standard advice about preparing for a baby and advice about putting your baby to sleep in a dark room is quite obvious. It is widely acknowledged that babies have to learn to get themselves o
ff to sleep, this may mean they cry for a while, be strong and let them.

The first 3 months of a childs life can seem like 3 years to new parents trying to establish a good sleep/wake routine, but in retrospect, the early days pass incredibly quickly. Yes I know many babies and toddlers continue to wake in the night well into their second year, but given some flexibility, most babies do get into their own routine early on. Once your baby becomes more active during the day, is weaned, and learns the skill of going back to sleep on their own without the need for nursing or reassurance, things should sort themselves out.

Finally remember that you are not a maternity nurse and looking after your baby is not a job. It is emotionally exhausting work and none of us are superhuman. Read this book and you place your self at risk of feeling a failure.

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