God's nipper, Voices and a girl named Chuck (Cradle and All - James Patterson)

Member Name: ben_83

Product:	Cradle and All - James Patterson
Date:	30/03/01 (42 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: The twist is unexpected

Disadvantages: The story is totally implausible, the characters are clichéd, the description of the locales is very poor, it's written with far too much melodrama, the ending leaves nothing to the imagination

When James Patterson is a described as a 'megabestselling' author on the back cover of this book, you have to be suspicious as to his credentials. You also have to wonder when a cursory glance at the inside front cover reveals that all his books are named after lines from nursery rhymes. Gimmickry perhaps? It certainly seems that way when you read 'Cradle and All' and realise that the title has, at best, a tenuous connection to the story.

Oh, and what a story! Anne Fitzgerald, a private investigator who used to be a nun and holds a Masters in psychology (it's not every day you meet one of them!) is sent to investigate two supposed virgin births - one in a privileged American town and the other in a poor town in Ireland (or rather in 'top of tha mornin' to ya' American Ireland). According to a prophecy made a long time before, one of the girls will bear the son of God and the other the son of Satan.

Just consider that for a moment. The second coming of Jesus is something that the greatest writer who ever lived would find nigh-on impossible to write a plausible fictional story about, let alone an utterly forgettable generic American thriller writer which I'm afraid is all Patterson is. Writing a novel based on a concept like that seem believable to non-Christians and inoffensive to Christians is a thankless task and one that Patterson isn't up to.

The execution is very poor. The descriptions of locations and events are often too short and lack detail, leaving the reader wondering what's going on. The characters as a whole are far too similar to one another - most of them are hearing Voices (yes, Patterson uses the upper-case) although it isn't made clear whether they're the same one or not - and Kathleen and Colleen, the two virgins, are very clichéd (in their teenageness and Irishness respectively). Add to this airport-novel melodrama, chapters that are far too short (it seems like Patters
on had decided before he started writing that a new chapter would start every three pages no matter what's happening in the story so the chapter count is over 110 by the end) and the obligatory stupid names that always appear in this type of book (I was not lying in the title, there is a female character called Chuck) and 'Cradle and All' seems like a decidedly unattractive package.

It's not all bad though. As has become the norm with cheap thrillers, there is a wicked twist at the end. However, its effect is minimised by the utter dross that precedes it. When you give up caring what happens to the characters after about 50 pages, no twist, no matter how unexpected, is going to rejuvenate your interest. Also, instead of ending the book when the holy offspring is born which is surely the natural conclusion to the story, Patterson continues for another two chapters, fast-forwarding time to when Jesus Jr. has grown up and cynically leaves everything nicely poised for a sequel. Might I suggest 'Humpty Dumpty Had A Great Fall' as the title for the next instalment?

Before I read 'Cradle and All', I thought I'd read some poor books (Patricia Cornwell and John Grisham spring to mind) but at least all of Patterson's trashy thriller writer friends know their limitations and stick to renegade cops who break rules to get results.

Please don't buy this book, you'll only encourage him to write another one.

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