Indiscreet (Diaries - Alan Clark)

Member Name: Jake Speed

Product:	Diaries - Alan Clark
Date:	30/04/08 (191 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: A lot of fun

Disadvantages: An interest in politics would help

The first volume of Alan Clark's diaries cover the period 1983-1991 and the two Parliaments he served under Margaret Thatcher as an Employment, Trade and Defence Procurement Minister. Clark never quite attained the prominence or power he craved in the Conservative government of the time but his general lack of tact and sense of humour made him a relatively famous and entertaining media figure who seemed much more interesting than most of his colleagues. In his day he was sort of like a much more refined, politically incorrect, calculating and intelligent version of Boris Johnson. His diaries are irreverent, superbly written and hugely enjoyable.

The entries are a little intermittent in places, sometimes skipping weeks at a time. In the preface Clark explains that they are not 'Memoirs' but his immediate reactions and thoughts presented in isolation without hindsight or explanation to things, sometimes scribbled on trains or at foreign locations like embassies. This book features more political intrigue than the second volume (which covers an earlier period chronologically) although Clark's lecherous tendancies, beloved Saltwood Castle and love of Backgammon all feature again throughout.

The style of the diaries is very engaging. Clark was a published historian and so fills his diaries with historical, political and literary references and many clever flourishes. This is combined with a 'throwaway', mischievous sense of humour and turn of phrase with quite a lot of swearing. The effect is often very funny but there are some poignant moments in the book when Clark writes about the motorway accident that kills a young actress filming the television series 'Tripods' in the grounds of his castle and the death of his closest political friend Ian Gow by an IRA car bomb. Clark's hypochondria and sense of time slipping away when he still has so much to do also feature as strong themes in the book.

The diaries start in the aftermath of the Conservative election victory of 1983. Clark remained a steadfast supporter of Magaret Thatcher during the Falklands crisis, even when others were becoming jittery, and is drafted into the government and made a junior minister in the Department of Employment under Norman Tebbit. That's right. The jobless and unemployed are in the hands of Norman Tebbit and Alan Clark. Clark has no real interest in his job apart from holding it down well enough to secure a better one and compares himself to a traveller in a foreign country who doesn't speak the language. He daydreams about urinating from his office onto the street below and wonders how Bernard Ingham (Mrs T's press secretary) would handle such an incident! Clark really wants the top job at Defence and so tries to knuckle down, all the while scheming and plotting behind the scenes to move his career along. He may be a multi-millionaire toff with a castle to live in and several houses around Britain and the continent but vanity and nationalism compels him to strive to make a mark in politics.

Clark is promoted to Minister of Trade in 1986 and there several accounts of overseas conferences which he finds on the whole fairly boring. You do get some wonderful descriptions of the places he visits though and some wicked snipes and asides about the various foreign politicians and dignitaries. Later Clark is made Minister for Defence Procurement in 1989 under Tom King. He goes into political overdrive to undermine King, who he seems to sort of simultaneously like and regard as a buffoon. Clark starts acting as if he's the top man and uses his vague connections with Thatcher and her inner circle to gain permission to write a Defence Review. King is furious of course and matters are complicated by Saddam Hussein and the crisis brewing in the Gulf. The Clark/King relationship is pretty interesting and funny at times.

The big event of the book is of course the end of Thatcher - stabbed in the back by her own party. Thatcher loyalist Clark relates these frenzied days from the inside as he furiously tries to guage what is happening. Who is going to stand? How many people are going to vote for Thatcher? How can they stop Michael Heseltine? Should they persuade Chris Patten to stand to split the 'wet' vote? Is there another group plotting with more sway than them? etc, etc. The behind the scenes mayhem, confusion and jostling is very absorbing. 'It'd be so terrible if Michael won,' confesses Thatcher to Clark after he has finally managed to break through her inner circle, who he is furious at for their lackadaisical response to the coup. "Who the f**k's Michael?" replies Clark. "No one. He won't last six months. Your place in history is towering."

As loyalties start to shift and slide it dawns on him that many of his colleagues are much younger than him and simply looking to feather their nest for the future. Edwina Currie is told by Clark to 'P** Off' after attempting to explain to him why she won't be voting for Thatcher. Of Kenneth Clarke he says; 'Clarke wasn't friendly. If he'd have said anything to me I'd have answered 'F**k you.'

Clark's relationship with Thatcher is quite complicated and he can never quite work out what her true feelings are towards him, her being an unemotional person in public. Clark stands by her right to the end though. There is a funny passage where Thatcher asks Clark to drop a Fur Bill he is pushing because Canada has complained about how it will affect native people or something. Clark, a vegetarian who has banned hunting on his estate, is asked by Thatcher why he wears leather shoes if he takes all this so seriously. Clark replies (and we can almost hear that plummy deadpan drawl as we read) that the Prime Minister would probably prefer it if her ministers didn't walk around wearing plastic shoes! Interestingly, Clark suggests that a lot of the upper-class Tories disliked Thatcher because of her 'ordinary' background.

I left the book with the strange impression that much of the Conservative Party couldn't stand Margaret Thatcher when she was actually in power and that she would have been toast and a footnote in history if Argentina hadn't invaded the Falklands. Another thing that struck me was how much drink features in the book in the Commons passages. You could be forgiven if you got the impression that half of the House Of Commons were alcoholics in the eighties.

There is so much quotable material in the book and Clark is a thoroughly entertaining companion whenever you dip into it. Peter Bottomly is described as 'so odd that it grates. Even watching him with that curious half-giggling smile brings out the worst in me.' To Clark and his toff friends Michael Heseltine is 'a man who had to buy all his furniture.' And early on Clark covers the famous incident where he attended a wine-tasting event and then, somewhat inebriated, has to read out a text in the Commons from the despatch box. To make matters worse Clark doesn't actually understand the text and what little he does he disagrees with!

'I found myself dwelling on, implicitly, it could be said, sneering at, the more cumbrous and unintelligible passages...I did speed up. I gabbled. Helter-skelter I galloped through the rest. Sometimes I turned over two pages at once, sometimes three. What did it matter? There was no shape to it.'

This is a fascinating, witty and entertaining book, especially if you have a keen interest in British politics.

Overall, Alan Clark's diaries are endlessly readable, candid and huge fun.

Summary: Well worth a look