Definetly Not expecting Malcolm! (Expecting Someone Taller - Tom Holt)

Member Name: Mitnik

Product:	Expecting Someone Taller - Tom Holt
Date:	24/08/02 (46 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Humourous and Inventive, Lots of Vikings

Disadvantages: Little too Short

Okay, so after the numerous (well, I actually only got one, but that was enough.) requests, I`ve re-read Expecting Someone Taller, and I`m now ready to give you my opinion on yet another fine Tom Holt Novel..

It's good, go buy it.. (and well there you go. thank you, goodnight..)

What? You want more? Geez.. what do you want? Blood? Oh.. You do? Oh.. You don`t happen to be the disguised frost giant Ingolf (Last Ruler of the World and possessor of Nibelung's Ring and Tarnhelm) Who's been hiding for 1,000 years from various gods and other Nordic beings seeking power as a badger, do you? Your Not? Oh, that`s good. I don`t think I`d want to understand what the bird's where saying...

Confused? I thought you might be.. Well I guess I really should explain. You See In the great Age of Heroes, everyone and his younger brother was out questing for this or that treasure, this or that magical talisman, that or the other enchanted princess. (Today, no one quests for much of anything, much less items of legendary power. Unless they are searching for that file they saved last night, that windows seems to have absolutely no recollection of....) Anyways Malcolm Fisher certainly wasn't questing when his aged Renault ran over a too-slow badger on a major highway near Taunton, England. Malcolm, more nerd than hero, was glumly heading home after being dumped by his girlfriend when he happened to run over a badger.

But in the magical, mirthful world of Tom Holt, a dead badger isn't always what it seems. In Expecting Someone Taller, the badger in question is actually the disguised frost giant Ingolf, possessor of Nibelung's Ring and Tarnhelm. (If that doesn't ring a bell, perhaps you should bone up on your Germanic folklore or, if you prefer, epic Wagnerian operas. Suffice to say, the legend of the Ring was a major inspiration in the writing of a certain J.R.R. Tolkien.) After hiding for 1,000 years from various gods an
d other Nordic beings seeking power, Ingolf wandered onto the road and ... well, splat.

Actually because I`m kind, and because I think it`ll enhanced your understanding / enjoyment of the book, here`s a quick little rundown on Wagner's Ring des Niebelungen (four operas based upon the ancient Norse Nibelungenlied).

Das Rheingold: The Rhinemaidens protect the Rhinegold, at the bottom of the Rhine. Alberic the dwarf steals the Rhinegold, and makes a magical ring, which will enable its owner to rule the world. The giants Fafner and Fasolt have built the castle Valhalla for Wotan, king of the gods. In payment, they demand Freia, daughter of Wotan and Fricka (his wife). Wotan steals Alberic's ring (and his treasure, including the Tarnhelm which allows its wearer to change shape or become invisible), and Alberic puts a curse upon it. Wotan reluctantly trades the ring to the giants in exchange for the return of Freia. Fafner kills Fasolt.

Die Walkure: Siegmund, pursued by Hunding, takes refuge in the house of Hunding and Sieglinde. He and Sieglinde fall in love, not knowing that they are brother and sister. Siegmund's father (Wotan) has left a sword (Nothung) stuck in the tree in the middle of Hunding's house. No one can remove it, except its rightful owner; Siegmund takes the sword. Siegmund and Sieglinde flee from Hunding. On a mountain, Wotan has refused to let the Valkyries (his daughters) save Siegmund and Sieglinde from Hunding, because jealous Fricka insists. Brunhilde, leader of the Valkyries, saves Sieglinde nonetheless. Sieglinde is pregnant with Siegmund's child. Wotan breaks Siegmund's sword, and punishes Brunhilde by putting her to sleep and surrounding her with fire.

Siegfried: Mime (Alberic's brother) has been caring for Sieglinde's child Siegfried. He plans to use the boy to get the ring from Fafner, who has turned himself into a dragon. Siegfried needs a weapon, but no sword is strong eno
ugh, and Mime cannot fix the broken sword of Siegmund. Siegfried forges the sword anew and slays the dragon and takes the ring. Siegfried kills Mime before Mime can kill him. He then goes and rescues Brunhilde from the ring of fire, and they fall in love.

Gotterdammerung: Hagen (son of Alberich) tricks Siegfried into forgetting Brunhilde and marrying Gutrune (half-sister of Hagen). Brunhilde helps Hagen kill Siegfried. Brunhilde takes the ring and throws herself onto Siegfried's funeral pyre. The fire spreads to the heavens and burns down Valhalla, destroying the gods. The Rhine floods its banks, and the Rhinemaidens reclaim the ring.

(So there you go, You`re learning not just about a great Tom Holt Novel, but also a series of impressive Wagnerian Opera's too.. It`s your lucky day..)

So anyways, back to Malcolm who's happened to run over Ingolf, Master of the World. Anyways, Before Inglof enter the stadium called definetly-quite-dead-and-not-moving-at-all he, very much reluctantly, makes Malcolm the new ruler of the world. Malcolm didn't expect this at all, at least not from a badger, or at least not from a dying badger... So as Ingolf lies dying he very generously gives Malcolm the ring that gives its bearer wealth and mastScattery of the world, and the Tarnhelm, a helmet which lets the wearer change shape or become invisible, and after forcing an extremely confused Malcolm into drinking his blood the ability to understand the speech of birds. But with these gifts, Malcolm soon comes to realise he's infact cursed. An unpleasant prospect for a fellow who's already made a complete botch of his life.

The next day, Malcolm begins experimenting with his new shapechanging and wealth-creating abilities. He researches his newfound talents by reading a summary of Wagner (I haveto say Tom Holt's summarization alone is worth the cover price of this book) He quickly figures out how to use his powers to conquer an
d rule the world -- and just as quickly decides the ulcers wouldn't be worth it. So he decides to have fun instead. And then (as often happens with these kind of things) a little bird ruins it all by telling him that his subconscious and the Ring's wild magic are combining to wreak havoc (but of course with Malcolm being Malcolm it's a very POLITE havoc indeed, Say Please and Thank You as it goes..) around the world.

Now the story really begins, (Keep an eye out for apair of Wotan's ravens they provide comic relief that really isn`t needed as the book is already bursting with laughter. but they are certainly a welcome addition to the story.. ) As can often be found with a Tom Holt Novel Things get do get complicated -- and occasionally a tad romantic -- but if your willing to take a little effort in the reading of this book, you`ll definetly find it rewards you handsomely, the laughs come thick and fast, It's essentially a rag to riches love story with lots of Vikings in it. It's a good story, and this is definetly not a book to be read in a library as there`s lots here that`ll have you laughing out loud and your sides aching for weeks to come. My Only criticism coming from the fact I found it a little short. Some of the plot mechanisms (The Ring and the Tarnhelm could have been used to greater effect.. but I guess the lack of overuse, can also be seen as a good point as it keeps the story somewhat grounded..)

As for the Author, Tom Holt remains one of the best and brightest of modern humorists, and his novels, steeped in wit on an almost legendary scale, are always a treat to read. You won't be disappointed, that's for sure, so go read it now your funny bone will thank you.


[-- here we go, surfing the Net again, something done by humans and very gullible fish]

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