We do not Rule the Universe... (Falling sideways - Tom Holt)

Member Name: Mitnik

Product:	Falling sideways - Tom Holt
Date:	22/10/04 (57 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Gribbit!, Rollicking good read

Disadvantages: Plot can make your brain ache a little.

Before you embark upon reading this review, I want you to clear your mind, I want you to know that everything you believe to be true, is indeed false.. Their is infact a Spoon (Yes, I`m using it to eat my Cornflakes infact..) Oh, and before I forget, Frogs Rule the Universe.. (Yes, you read right, Frogs..)

Happily for Humanity Actually very little of what I`ve just written is true, Unhappily things are a lot (Lot!!) Worse.. You See From the moment the first Homo Sapiens descended from the trees, (possibly onto their heads..), humanity has striven towards civilisation. With ground breaking inventions such as Fire. The Wheel. (Oh and not forgeting the Life changing revelation that came from finally realising that Running away from furry things with big teeth was indeed the only real option if you held any value in being alive.)

Oh and, of course (after a great deal of time in some cases...), coming back and bravely nuking their descendants from orbit, are all testament to man's ultimate ascendancy. It is a noble story, a triumph of intelligence over adversity and, of course, completely and utterly wrong. (Infact it couldn`t have been more wrong, even if it had been published on the Front Page of the News of the World!)

For finally one man believes he has discovered the hideous truth: that every great civilisation in history has, rather embarassingly, been founded, run and then cunningly manipulated by a small gang of devious frogs. Yes Deviously Cunning Frogs (More Cunning that a Very Cunning Fox, that`s been made Professor of Cunning at Oxford University for the Very Cunning indeed.) the Frogs that rule the universe.

So incase you hadn`t gathered already, Frogs rule the Universe.. Or that is the unrealized fact that Comic Fantasy Leagend Tom Holt is trying to prov e to us in his Latest Offering.. Falling Sideways.

Falling sideways is a story of frogs, frogs, and some more frogs... But there isn`t just Frogs, No.. There's David too.. (Who's David, I hear you scream. Well I could just say Read the book and find out for yourself, but I`m kinda than that.. Read on, and all shall be revealed.) The book starts Strangely enough without a single mention of a Frog, which is good for all the frogaphobics (is that a real world?? hmmm) it actually starts by describing David Perkins, our main hero (Who at the present time at least, isn`t a Frog!). David who at the time this story begins is aged 33 and very, very single indeed.

David works with computers, and lives alone in a London apartment. Now David is no ordinary computer geek (Is there any ordinary computer geek?!) he is infact a Geek in Love, Very Much inlove.. The only thing is he's apparently in love with a picture of a 17th century witch in an art museum. He fell in love with Philipa exactly 21 years ago when his mother dragged him to a museum as his birthday gift. David spends many a day just standing there, thinking about life in general, talking to the picture - feeling rather surprised that she's not talking back.

Now, don`t get me wrong, there's nothing wrong in loving a painting of a witch, but when you happen across a place called "Honest John's House of Clones" and then manage to purchase a lock of said Witch's Hair, well then your just asking for trouble aren`t you?!

And this is only the begining.. Just how much weirder can it get? Well.. putting it basically LOTS!! But then when you have a Cast that Involves a Nerd, A Witch, More Frogs than all the Chelsea Flower Shows put together, And more clones than you could shake a very big stick at Who All suspiciously resembling the one-eyed god Odin?.. (Infact the title of this review could very well of been "Attack of the Clones...") The que stions come thick and with fury: Will David Perkins live? Will he get arrested? Will he get arrested again? Will he escape? Will the frogs take dominion of the world? What's with the white sugar and the dandruff? And what's this about occultist witches in modern day Britain...? This is most certainly not a book to just pick up and have a giggle with (Although you`ll definetly be giggling, there are some absolutely hillarious bits..)

But there's a plot here (A plot so full of twists and turns it puts Spaghetti Junction to Shame.) The Characters are well written, (Even The Aliens, Don`t Ask...) but then that`s something you can expect from Tom Holt, his unique style leads you right into the story, making you feel more of a voyuer than a reader.

As Previously stated this is not a light read, it`s difficult to follow, but this is most definetly intentional, and everything is explained eventually.. But this book if nothing more is a masterful show of just how rompingly fantastical Tom Holt truly can be, For a long time I feel he's been stuck in the Shadow of a Disc Shaped Wurlde Type Thing, but with Falling Sideways, I think he`s finally broken free and can rightly claim some of the limelight for himself.

The constant over the top over the top, dizzyingly creative, sometimes obscure, but always clever similies keep you wishing for more. (I was going to quote some of them but my Libel Lawyer has advised quite strongly against it..) Yes definetly What really makes this a must read is the sheer volume of humour that fills each page like juicy chocolate chips in a Choc Chip Muffin..

Upon re-reading this, I just wanted to note that the re-read value of this book is fantastic, it holds the same charm as Pratchett as in, you can go back and find something new, something small, but still amazingly funny that you`d missed first time round.

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