Newest Review: ... sex or no sec, but its execution is poor. Maybe it has since been corrected, but my first edition copy had several spelling and grammar ... more
50 Shades of Mediocre
Fifty Shades of Grey - E L James
Member Name: Lulzaroonie
Fifty Shades of Grey - E L James
Advantages: No brainer.
Disadvantages: Repetitive descriptions, annoying character habits, quite poorly written
The female world went insane. There was a new fictional man to get your panties in a twist about. He was Edward and Jacob rolled into one. And he was one kinky sonofa...
I first did a little bit of internet sleuthing. I read some extracts of the book. It read like another Twilight Saga book, but I decided to get it over with. I knew I was going to end up reading it anyway, so I put myself out of my misery and got on with it.
The thing with books like these that annoy me to an extent is how it's always an astronomically plain girl who wins the hunk. Everyone knows that rich, powerful and good looking men do not go for 'plain' women. Maybe there are some out there who would, but the majority? No, I don't think so.
Anastasia Steele is smart, I'll give her that. Sure beats being a clumsy airhead like Bella Swan, who had nothing going for her other than the desperate need to be controlled.
The book is annoyingly written. The author, whoever she is, some Twilight fan-fiction writer, doesn't seem to have a very varied vocabulary. Sure, there are some big words that I would think make most women trip over and look up. But anyone can use a dictionary and throw in some big words. Sesquipedalian loquaciousness is just showing off, when you consider the author can't find any synonyms for the words 'gazed' and 'muttered'.
And I'm not sure if this is an author habit, or a character habit, but the words "Oh my" are now banned from my list of words to ever utter again.
What kind of 21 year old can't call her genitalia by something other than "down there"?
Christian Grey is by his own admission, a control freak and also a sadist, who likes to whip and hurt brown haired little girls. I know, you have to have some character flaws, but this takes the biscuit.
A multi-multi-billionaire hires women as sex slaves to enhance his BDSM lifestyle, and takes a liking to Ana Steele, a brown haired school girl, thinking she could be his next submissive.
Ana, having never had a boyfriend, is immediately allured by Christian Grey and his *surprise surprise* grey eyes, and immediately goes into full panty meltdown any time she's in the same city as him.
He propositions her, and offers her a contract as his new submissive, but Ana has different ideas. She wants someone who can provide for her emotional needs, as well as sexually. Christian, would rather keep things on a professional basis, and Ana decides that to get the guy to like her, she must do pretty much whatever he asks, within reason.
Is there ever such a thing as too much sex? Because I think this book would fit the bill. At first it's saucy and naughty, but the sex scenes are rotated so they never usually do the same thing twice in a row, but the scenes become almost familiar.
The only good things I can say about this book is that like Twilight, it's fine if you read it as a book and don't expect it to be an incredible feat of novel writing. As a general, "I want to remove my brain for a couple of hours and just lose myself in a book" this is perfect, but even I can't get past "Oh my" and Christian's gazing, and Ana's muttering.
I don't know why anyone would be interested in a mumbling, staring, woman, but hey, I guess it's not my cup of earl grey.
Summary: I think I might need to bleach my brain after reading this.