Let yourself in... (Haunted House - Jan Pienkowski)

Member Name: peel.rebekah

Product:	Haunted House - Jan Pienkowski
Date:	18/07/01 (345 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: A feast for the eyes and adventurous little fingers.

Disadvantages: Tears, goddamnit.

Oh dear me, what have I done? I requested this title be added in a surge of absolute mummikins pride and fond nostalgia...Now I'm left looking at seventy rather limited and disjointed words, and I'm pondering heavily, searching desperately to find the words.

All this is due to a spoilt little brat that used to go to school with me: She always had the best stuff: The best table top Pacman; those shrinky dinky things that you stuck in the oven; the coolest pair of Fame leg warmers...and this book. So when yours truely just happened upon a copy on a rainy car booting Sunday, it just had to be bought, even if it was simply to blow a great big fat raspberry into the past.

I'm just stalling, I know.

Haunted House is a slightly oversized green book. The front cover is a depiction of a front door; a big, green front door, with slow ivy creeping; with a disconcerting green and pink tentacle protruding from the letter box; with a hand scribbled note balanced carefully above the door knob, "Let yourself in".

While I'm wittering on about the book's cover - turn the book and find the back also depicts a door: Still a wandering green and pink protuberance, still the slithering plant, also a boarded up window...and a large locked padlock, keeping whatever is held within safely restrained.

"Come in, Doctor. Yes, it is a quaint old place - chilly though."

Welcome to the haunted house. Enter into the hall and you're faced with a large, ornate (and three dimensional) staircase: An ample legged and venomous black spider is suspended (buy a thin black thread), hiding the authors dedication with his glaring red eyes. The cupboard under the stairs holds a surprise: Open it and find a worried looking ghost taking refuge with the hoover...take a closer look behind, and find a pair of disembodied eyes staring out from the blackness. Above the staircase hangs the portrait of dear old aunty - La
Gioconda - with her darling little pussycat...pull the arrowed tab on the right, and both aunty's and moggie's eyes move, following you, and the Doctor, as you move through the house.

"I seem to have lost my appetite. Maybe something didn't agree with me."

Into the kitchen: ARRRGH! There's a giant toad sitting on the oven! His jaws open wide as you open the page, displaying his rather bloated tonsils. Open the oven door and find...A birthday cake? Only six candles on it, so it can't be for me. The rubbish bin is overflowing with putrid lettuce and noodles; two little mice seem to be discussing its contents. An octopus is kindly doing the washing up while sitting in the sink - pull the downwards tab and his arms, head and eyes all bob up and down. The kitchen cupboards are full to the brim of cans and food stuffs; turn the dial on the right and the multicoloured turge inside also turns...as do Mr Cat's eyes (he's been dozing up until now). Open the fridge and discover a monstrous concoction of spaghetti, eggs and sausages trying to fight its way out - its alive, I tell you. And just as we are about to turn the page and leave the kitchen, I take a glance out of the window...In the distance I see a saucer shaped object heading in this direction; can't quite make out what it actually is, but I'm sure we'll find out soon.

"I can't seem to settle down. In fact I can't sit still for two minutes."

OOOH EEEER, grandma's obviously not feeling herself today! Open the page and out pops King Kong's ugly sister (who has been previously entertaining herself with a spot of knitting). On the fireplace sits an apple with one bite taken from it, and a clock: Turn the dial and the hand of the clock also turns - just above, a small scene within the clock changes from lightening striking, to Nessie out for a swim, to pirate ships ahoy. The colours of the fire's flames (war
ming Mr Cat) also vary as the dial is turned. Pull the left hand tab and the three ornate wall ducks flap their wings in unison. On the bookshelf behind Mrs Kong are titles such as Dracula, Grimm, The Mousetrap, Frankenstein and Poe. And ahh, that strange object is still hovering outside the window, I wonder what it is?

"No, I don't have many visitors."

Until today, that is: That bizarre saucer thing appears to have landed in the back garden, and its inhabitants have decided to gate crash, straight through the bathroom wall. Large alien wood louse and his enormous antennae obviously got caught short of the next inter galactic watering hole. Ahh, but rest assured that the house's own internal defense system is still working fine: Pull the tab and see the hungry crocodile rear its ugly snappers from the bath tub, trying desperately to grab some alien supper. And where's that damn cat? He always seems to be lurking around somewhere...Lift the toilet seat and find our scurrilous feline friend...who also seems to be hungry, as he eyes up those two mice that are scurrying underneath the bath tub.

"I'm not sleeping well. My old bones seem to be playing up again."

The master bedroom seems harmless enough; not too much to see, just a grand old bed and this here wardrobe (pull the tab and...)EEEK, you seem to have a skeleton in your closet, is there something you're not telling me? Well the bed seems innocent enough, mind if I have a quick lie down? (pull another tab and...)Goodness gracious, another ghost, and this one seems a little more angry than the first. And I know that cat is around here somewhere, slinking about in the darkness (pull yet another tab and...) ah, there he is, hiding in the rafters while keeping his evil yellow eyes on us and those two mice.

"Do you think it's all imagination? Doctor...? DOCTOR, WHERE ARE YOU...?"

And finally, the dusty junk fille
d attic; you know, all the normal old flotsam and jetsam of years passed: The one eyed doll, gas mask, bottle of CuSO4 (?), unexploded bomb, large crate labeled 'Transylvania' and one super huge, sharp toothed bat, that flaps its overgrown wings as we open and close the page...And what's that strange sawing noise? Aaah, it seems the Doctor has decided to take a vacation...to Transylvania of all places, not that I'm surprised. If this particular house call is anything to go by, then he deserves the break...and there's that cat again; he's looking rather plump and pleased with himself...ah, yes, and only ONE mouse left, cowering in the corner.

If you haven't yet realised, Haunted House is a pop up book of scary and wonderful dimensions: The paper engineer behind it is Tor Lokvig, although the book is by Jan Pienkowski. The pop ups, pull outs, twirlie bits and general hidden surprises are plenty - sometimes even too much (perhaps). The rather sparse storyline adds just a little bit to what is otherwise an adventure of the eyes; it allows for that general mummy adlibbing and filling out, so that you too, and your sprogs can be venturing forth into this house with the poor old Doctor.

This is THE BOOK that calms Victor's constant babbling and screams for attention: The only downside of this is that the pages and features are easily torn. Victor is only 17 months old and I'm already looking for another copy as my sellotape supplies are running short. Now, I haven't tested this book out on any of the slightly more faint hearted of children, and Victor has been reared on the tale of one of his namesakes (Frankenstein), so he's as sturdy as they come in this department. The book is obviously aimed at a slightly older audience than Sir Victor (those that can control their beastly urges to tear), and I would recommend it for them...and for parents, of course, 'cos it?s just so much fun (and not really that scary
).

The ISBN seems to be 43495635X, but I'm not so sure that it is still in print...I'll have a look and let you know. Otherwise, join me to scour a few car boot sales and charity shops (as long as it's not raining) as this book is well worth the effort.

Enjoy.

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