You Don't Need Sex To Write A Best Seller (The Holiday - Erica James)

Member Name: Sexy Kay

Product:	The Holiday - Erica James
Date:	16/05/02 (257 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Nice cover

Disadvantages: Pages not so good

You know, I reckon it's pretty easy really - this writing a best seller lark. I might well have a go myself, now that I've sussed out how it's done. The extra money would come in useful. I could buy a few properties as investments and stock up on Cosabella thongs. I don't foresee any problems or difficulties.

"What about a good plot?"

Oh dear, trust someone to be negative, but a plot isn't a problem. I mean, let's look at Erica James's book The Holiday, as an example, and you'll see how simple this writing business is. All you need is a bit of a standard story line such as girl falls in love with bloke, and bloke with girl, and they end up happy ever after. Ahhhh! The only slight difficulty might be that you've got to fill about 500 pages but, not to worry, I've found the answer.

It was last night. I became very restless as I lay in bed thinking about how to fill those pages. I must have eventually dozed off, but only for a couple of hours. I kicked off the sheet, which had twisted itself into a second skin around me, and went and stood by the window. Everywhere seemed so still and quiet, scarcely a trace of movement anywhere.

Images came to my mind and of me crying, cradled in my father's arms. I was about five. A little boy had broken a terracotta plant pot over my head, a small scar still remains under my hair. All I had tried to do to him was ...

Now do you see what I've just done? I've filled up a few lines of this review, quite easily, by going back over something that happened years ago. If this was a story you could say I was building or developing the character to give the reader an insight into how the little girl became the person she is today.

Erica James does an awful lot of this. You seem to get everyones back history. Suddenly you realise that very little has actually happened relevant to the present time, in which the
book is set - and yet here you are placing your bookmark on page 450.

Let's look a bit more at writing a best seller with the help of The Holiday.

The book is set in Ayios Nikolaos, Corfu but the main characters are British, by gad. There is one Greek, Theo. Well I suppose there would have to be. He's a millionaire though, not your rough trade. The Britishers also have a few quid and their own holiday villas overlooking the bay. The only exception is Izzy, our heroine, who is conveniently an unattached school teacher and so has the whole summer to spend with her wealthy friends, Max and Laura. Which is nice for her.

So we've got a pleasant place to escape to, decent people, none of your dreadful bucket and spade, two weeks in the sun brigade. Shudder the thought. Our lot go away to their villas for the complete summer, so obviously they are a little superior - like I'll be when I've written my book! Unless, that is, I'd be more comparable to the new rich couple in the story, with their slightly dodgy taste. They are called Dolly-Babe and Silent Bob, useful for any time you feel a bit of a mock coming on. Dolly has had a boob job, and wears the sort of swimwear that she just shouldn't at her age - can you imagine! Plus she has a 'tumble of dyed blonde hair', which is 'perched on the top of her head' - fortunately.

Now smoothy Theo, a bit of a ladies man, has an English friend, Mark, who is a troubled but successful crime writer. He is staying with him for a few months to finish his latest book. There are a few other people who pop in and out, when needed, but there you have the main cast.

We've learnt so far, therefore, that we need a good setting for our best seller, an affluent set of people and lots of back history to build up the characters. No probs! And now we come to the plot - it's that love type story I mentioned earlier.

It was pretty
apparent to me, right from the start, that what Izzy needed was a damn good, erm I'll behave and say, man - to help her relax and release the lingering tensions of her last relationship. Poor girl, it seems her ex 'didn't know a G-spot from his Air on a G-string' - nothing out of the ordinary there then. Well, who have we on hand to sort her out? There are just two men available, Theo and his mate Mark, so who will win her favours? The smart money is on Theo, a smarmy and full of himself bloke, but with an obligatory heart of gold. Whereas Mark is a complex, moody so and so with a long list of hang ups from the past which are described, of course, in great detail.

Personally I wouldn't fancy either of them, and that is where I feel that this book falls down. Not because I didn't fancy Theo or Mark but because, despite all of the pages given to building the characters, they didn't come across as real people. I didn't believe in them and frankly couldn't have cared less what happened to them. So watch that when you write your book.

If a story is centred on two or three people they have to somehow get inside your head. Last week, for example, I read Robert Waller's 'The Bridges of Madison County' and I ended up with tears running down my face. Yet in The Holiday one of the main characters gets seriously hurt and I wasn't the least bit bothered. I didn't 'feel' for any of the people concerned.

Getting back to the plot. It's a standard romance but there is a little bit of excitement, over a couple of pages, when someone from the past - and pretty heavily sign posted to any reader who hasn't nodded off - comes back to do some damage to someone. And, gosh, a gun is involved. So we have to remember to add a little dash of something to liven things up when we start writing. Judging from this book, it doesn't seem like it has to be too much, or last for to
o long, but it can help to push things along to a climax.

Perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned the last word because there are no graphic sex scenes in this book. Izzy does get plundered, much to everyones relief, and hopefully her own as well, but we don't have the full, intimate, juicy details. It's all in the best possible taste. I was going to put a bit of rumpy pumpy detail in my book, but I'll have to see. The question is: does sex boost or inhibit sales? The Holiday sold quite well without.

I'm not actually sure why this offering from Erica James did so well. It may have been down to her reputation. Perhaps her previous books, which I haven't read, were much better. With The Holiday though she seems to have written to a format and the story line is much too predicatable. It's glaringly obvious, for instance, who Izzy would get the hots for and that everyone would end up happily ever after. Nothing wrong with that, I suppose, but it's good to have a bit of a mind work out along the way.

This is a bubble gum read, you chew away and then spit it out from your memory. If you want something to while away a few hours, that is easy to read, fine. I don't think I'd have bothered to finish the book if I hadn't have had to spend a few nights alone in an hotel - what else could I have done?!

I should have started writing my best seller instead. Mmmm let's see, I've been to a couple of the Greek Islands: sunshine, skimpy clothes, friendly locals, blue sea, golden skin - I'm hot to trot just thinking about it. 'She watched him emerge from the clear blue water and make his way up the pebbly beach. Even by Greek standards he was deeply tanned, and with his strong muscular physique he made a striking impression. Laura found herself speculating on just how far his tan went up those long legs.'

I reckon you could get a lot of pleasure and satisfaction
out of writing a book ... but as for reading The Holiday - disappointing is the word that sums it up for me. Erica, I'm sure you can do much better.

;-> Kay

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