'He killed her. That b*****d killed her.' (If I am Missing or Dead - Janine Latus)

Member Name: aylawarner

Product:	If I am Missing or Dead - Janine Latus
Date:	09/05/09 (115 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Feel really connected to Latus and her family, compelling read couldn't put it down

Disadvantages: Very sad, makes you realise how horrible some men are

~ Janine and her younger sister Amy have lived abusive lives since childhood, from being abused as children to going from one violent relationship to the next as they grew older unable to escape what they are now used to. When Amy goes missing, Janine knows straight away without a doubt that something bad has happened to her and that she is never coming home. ~

I love reading and recently I've like the look of the many books that are coming out at the moment which are about the real lives of the authors and their childhoods. However, many of these sound so horrible with their abusive backgrounds that I don't think I can bring myself to read them. But If I am Missing or Dead sounded not quite as bad as some of the others and my nan had read it and recommend it to me. My nan doesn't read many books so I thought it must have been good and gave it a go.

The story was written in the first person and in a kind of long and descriptive diary like way, going through her life. This really made you feel as if you were getting really deep into Latus's life, finding out so much about her, and made you feel really connected to her, and you could feel her happiness and joy, pain and anguish.

She describes the difficult life she, and also her sister Amy have had, including family difficulties, leaving home at a young age to gain her independence and a lot of sexual, physical and emotional abuse. She describes the horrid ways that men have treated her and how she always believed it was her fault and that she deserved it. It made me curl my upper lip and shake my head in disgust and some of the things her husband and previous boyfriends did. You end up really feeling for her and just wanting her to get out and have a happy life. I had my nan keep saying to me 'See what men are like? They're all horrible, all of them.' And this book does make you think what scumbags some men are.

The blurb on the back of the book begins with 'In April 2002, Janine Latus's youngest sister, Amy, wrote a note and taped it to the inside of her desk drawer. "If I am gone or dead", it read, "question Ron"'. This, along with the title of the book, a description on the front page of 'Two sisters lived in fear. Only one survived...', and a short piece at the beginning of the book, kind of gives away what is going to happen at the end. But you connect yourself with the family so much and, because it's a true story that actually happened, you find yourself believing that everything is going to turn out OK and so the end of the book leaves you feeling sad and with an even worse view of men than you may already have.

I really couldn't put this book down and found myself constantly reading it at every opportunity I had. I was also sad once I had finished it as I wanted to know more about Janine and her family and what then went on to happen after the book. It must have been terribly hard and emotional for her to write this book and I really respect her for it. Latus tells us about some very honest and personal things that happened to her, some that she has told no one before the book was published. She adds in a part at the end reaching out to women who are in similar situations to her giving them advice and telling them that they are not alone and that they deserve better.

This was a really brilliant and heartbreaking book delving deep into the life of the author. Even now, writing this review after finish the book a while ago, I can still feel the emotions I felt when reading it. I would definitely recommend this - you won't be able to put it down.

Summary: A heartbreaking read of Janine Latus's life