The unbelievably smart pants of Mr Small Groin (Incredible Hulk Comics in general)

Member Name: dave27

Product:	Incredible Hulk Comics in general
Date:	26/05/01 (52 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Some good stories but...

Disadvantages: ...not very addictive

Mrs dave27 in some of her nicer and more sympathetic moods has a bit of an irritating habit (you should check her out when she is mad). She compares me to the Incredible Hulk - he of the bulky, oddly green skin and fearsome visage, only a letter 'B' gets subbed for the 'H' - God, she's a wit.

Anyway, we both thought it may be an idea to expose once and for all one of the mysteries of the Twentieth century upon the Dooyoo clan - but I'll come back to that little riddle later if I may.

Most people who have heard of the Incredible Hulk will have got to know him via that unbelievably awful American TV series starring Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno as the two sides of the Jolly Green Giant. It was like a clumsy mix between The Bionic Man and The Grinch and Mr Bixby will never win any honours for his acting - he only had two styles - wry grin, with a little turned up sneer/smirk (how attractive!) and DEADLY SERIOUS.

You could tell when he was being serious because those odd little lines appeared on his eyebrows and then we would get an astonishing transformation. No, I'm not talking about when he turns green, but rather when his face assumes the thuggish, dull eyed appearance of one of the finest actors of his generation - LAYDEEZ AND GENNULMEN, I give you the one, the only (Thank Christ), Mr Lou Ferigno.

Now if you really want to see Luvverly Louie show off the full range of his thespian skills you need to check him out in an Italian version of the Hercules legend - man, he was CRINGEWORTHY!!

The Incredible Hulk TV series was based (a little loosely) on the original Marvel Comics strip from the Sixties, where Banner was a scientist involved in military operations who got exposed to a dose of radiation which, rather than killing him or scarring him (as would be the case in real life, but since when have we allowed the facts to make any difference), led to him becoming a very changeable character. r>
At times of great emotional stress, Banner undergoes enormous physical changes, piling on muscly bulk like there's no tomorrow and splitting all his clothes.

[Break off for a minute to discuss the greatest mystery of the modern age: When Banner changes into the Hulk, he becomes incredibly muscle bound and the entirety of his body assumes massive proportions, right? However, for some odd physiological reasons, the Hulk's groin region and thighs remain the same size as Bruce Banner's, for there is never the slightest little rip in those amazing purple trews of his. Uncanny! We are left with no option but to conclude that the fearsome green monster must have some of the smallest genitalia in the western world. Perhaps it's the steroids....

Anyway, whatever the reason - we must accept that growing a pair of breasts and unbelievably large feet is compensated by the Incredible Shrinking Todger - like to see David Copperfield pull that one off - so would Louie, but that's another story...]

Banner becomes a very tortured individual fearing to continue his relationship with Betty Ross because of what he might do to her when he assumes the role of Mr Small Groin (well, he certainly wouldn't be scaring her in the bedroom department, would he girls?) and spends his life searching vainly for some remedy for his curse.

The Hulk is a well meaning but tempestuous great bean brain whose first reaction when threatened by the military might of the Army commanded by betty's pater, General Ross, is to go on a rampage and give them a bit of a thwacking (No if only I could persuade Mr Small Groin to don a large cod piece and speak as he finds at the office of BT, I'd be a very happy bunny). The Hulk becomes a vagrant superhuman beast, wandering the countryside and having all sorts of adventures. he is neither good nor evil, but a misunderstood behemoth with a very sane and terrified individual trapped by his alt
er ego.

The Marvel strip was never one of my all time faves (that honour went to Spidey, the Avengers and the X Men), but it was always a good read and well worth dipping into when you had a moment (unlike those amazing pants of his - dip into them and you'd need tweezers and magnifying glass to find his todger).

Anyway, just to put your mind at rest regarding Mrs d's reason for comparing me to old Louie - it's nothing to do with the genitalia department - well, that's what she told me and I believe everything she says. I now know that the world is flat and when you go past Guildford you fall into a fiery lake.