Schuster's Punctuation Loops not permissible (Little Book of Mornington Crescent, the - Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden, Barry Cryer and Humphrey Lyttelton)

Member Name: Sue Ellen

Product:	Little Book of Mornington Crescent, the - Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden, Barry Cryer and Humphrey Lyttelton
Date:	04/01/01 (112 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Funnnnnn-eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Disadvantages: The book is too short. And too many people learning the rules is going to make next year’s Mornington Crescent TOC Cupwinners’ Cup verrrrryyyyyy hard to win

Whether you are physically addicted to or not the slightest bit interested in Mornington Crescent, this book is an absolute must-have.

Written by those self-proclaimed experts of the game, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden, Barry Cryer and Humphrey Lyttelton, this book recaptures all the suspense and excitement of the Radio 4 programme, although admittedly without the gasps of dismay and admiration of the studio audience.

It offers the reader an invaluable insight into the history of the game and follows its development through the ages. Although the facts concerning the origin and the creator of the game seem to have been lost in the mists of time, it is revealed in the book that there is evidence that the Romans were playing a primitive version of the game – ‘Non Iguato Cresseunt’ - even before the invasion of Britain, and the earliest visual record was found woven into the Bayeux Tapestry.

There have been many great players of the game over the centuries, and several have been carefully selected for a mention here. Among those that I enjoyed reading about, maybe the most awe-inspiring of all was Mother Anna of Widdicombe, who “at the age of three she is reputed to have mastered the rudiments of Mornington Crescent, which she played incessantly with an imaginary friend whom she treated as the little brother she never had, much to the upset of the little brother she did have.”

For those of you who remain unsure about the intricacies of the Perfect Looped-Shift or the validity of the Earl’s Court Riposte, there is a chapter devoted to the much sought-after rules of Mornington Crescent. The chapter begins, thankfully, by stating that “it is safe to assume that even the most inexperienced beginner will have a sound working knowledge of the basic rules of the Straight Game, so we shall waste no time on them here.”

Thank heavens for that, as it allows us to move directly to the
more thrilling subjects of the board and pieces, the teams, the captains and ranks (with the helpful reminder that “very short players make poor Sergeants”), territories, clothing permissible to be worn (“it is important that sleeves and socks should not restrict gestures”), the opening, the end-game, advanced play, progression, the offside rule and the Binary Scoring System.

Should the reader be feeling stupider than usual and need further clarification after these clearly stated rules, the authors have helpfully included an analysis of a typical game.

Would you believe it, there are even some recipes on the Mornington Crescent theme, such as Coq Fosters and East Ham, all easy, economical and with a taste that will leave you wanting more.

The infamous game between Charles Dickens and Lewis Carol (real name Charles Lutwidge Dodgson) that resulted in Dickens’ downfall and the brutal murder of his housekeeper, Mrs. Twerp, is spectacularly re-enacted, and below is a summary of the moves without the intervening mayhem to illustrate Dodgson’s impressive skill:

Bethnal Green (begins Dickens)– Aldgate East – Finsbury Park – Cockfosters – Goodge Street – Turnham Green – Tottenham Hale (this being a Scattershot Defensive Reflex from Dickens) – Stepney Green – Clapham Common (Dickens’ fatal error) – Mornington Crescent (and Dodgson wins!).

Classic!

Don’t miss the Scandal of ‘Mad Jack’ Camden, the evidence of Mornington Crescent in popular nursery rhymes and Shakespeare’s works, the FAQ page and the list of Mornington Crescent websites (take a look at http://www.playmorningtoncrescent.co.uk/start.php )

We are also privileged to be able to peruse extracts from the book Mornington Crescent of the Gods, by Herbert van Luniken, wherein lies proof that aliens visited earth at several times throughou
t the ages and left us a few glimpses of the Universal Rules in the guise of Stonehenge and the Great Pyramids.

This book is very funny, very small (112 pages) and very funny (for those of you missed it the first time). I ordered it from Amazon.co.uk, current price £5.95 excluding postage and packing.

I have had to edit this opinion down to approximately half its original size, because I started off by quoting half the book itself. It’s so funny that it’s very difficult to pick out the best bits without spoiling it for any potential readers. I hope I haven’t overstepped the mark. If I have, you can sue me, and I will, of course, counter with Morton’s Second Parallel.

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For anyone willing to observe an actual Mornington Crescent championship, take a look at the following URL: http://dooyoo.community.everyone.net/commun_v3/scr ipts/thread.pl

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