What an irritating winker she is! (Memoirs of an Unfit Mother - Anne Robinson)

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Product:	Memoirs of an Unfit Mother - Anne Robinson
Date:	04/12/01 (210 review reads)
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Not content with being one of the highest paid presenters on television, Anne Robinson - she of the stern manner and irritating wink - has now put pen to paper to give us her autobiography, "Memoirs of an Unfit Mother".

According to the books jacket notes, "An acute eye, a forthright voice and a life that plumbs the depths and touches the stars make Memoirs of an Unfit Mother as remarkable and inspiring an autobiography as you could hope to read." If this is the case, then the writer of the jacket blurb needs to get out more, or at very least update their book collection.

For anyone who hasn't read the newspapers recently, this book contains surprising revelations about Annes character, the main one being that she lost custody of her only daughter due to being pronounced an "unfit mother" because of alcohol problems. Actually, the words "alcohol problems" are probably an understatement since, at one time, Anne was a shambling alcoholic, weighing under six stones and incapable of caring for herself, yet alone a child.

The book starts with Annes childhood, which was dominated by her mother. Mrs Robinson senior seems to have passed on several character traits to her daughter. Both Mother and daughter were ruthless go-getters who, it seems, were more than prepared to trample lesser mortals to the ground in pursuit of their ambitions - money and social standing in Mothers case and plum jobs in journalism in Annes. Sadly, Annes father seems to have been one of their victims since, apart from a few derisory comments at the books start, he merits barely a mention.

Anne relentlessly claws her way up the career ladder in her mink coat and high heels, crashing through glass ceilings on her way. She marries and produces a child, Emma, but quickly realises that the marriage is not working and takes solace in the bottle, losing custody of Emma in the process. After stumbling around in a metaphoric f
og for some years, she eventually very courageously pulls herself up by the bootstraps and sets about mending that which she has broken through her own stupidity.

The book would have been "remarkable and inspiring" except that Robinson's style of writing destroys all hope of an interesting read. My guess is that this book was an attempt to reveal the real soft-centred, fluffy,human Robinson behind the rude, relentless dominatrix we know from The Weakest Link. It fails. Despite her best intentions, Robinson comes across as arrogant, imperious, self-righteous, demanding and a right royal pain. Her sharp tongue has its equal in her pen, producing a book that is almost totally lacking in humour, humility and, indeed, in humanity. On rare occasions, the mask slips, giving the reader just a brief glimpse of the frail and frightened woman beneath the iron will, but sadly these lapses are all too infrequent.

Robinson writes her book from a position of moral and intellectual supremacy, seeming to view herself as far above the mere mortals who surround her. They are to be outwitted and scorned for their human mistakes and no allowance is made for any margin of error. To be fair, the author appears just as tough on herself as on the rest of civilisation. Yet this book is still the world according to Anne Robinson rather than Anne Robinson revealing herself to the world. And, while it had the potential to be a touching, moving story, sadly it just isn't.

There is one section of photographs, mainly family snaps (" With my pony Princess at the Formby Show") which perfectly illustrate the privileged background that Ms. Robinson seems to view as her God-given right.

The book ends just as The Weakest Link is hitting our screens, by which time it was a great relief to close the book and banish Ms. Robinson to the back of the deepest, darkest cupboard. It is no more than this book deserved since, to me, it simply was
n't entertaining - not even the slightest bit "remarkable and inspiring.". You'd do better buying Victoria Beckham.

Memoirs of an Unfit Mother - Anne Robinson - Little, Brown and Company - ISBN 0 316 85777 7

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