| Product: |
Monty's Turn - Monty Panesar |
| Date: |
29/11/07 (102 review reads) |
| Rating: |
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Advantages: Nice guy!
Disadvantages: Boring book
..."Well Mr. Flintoff, Bangra dancing is like changing a light bulb with one hand and tapping your tiny brothers head with the other"...
That was Monty Panasar's vivid and comic description of his particular music taste to his new and intrigued team England mates in the Nagpur dressing room for his test debut, the gauche looking Sikh hoping to fit in quickly when he got that surprise call up to tour India, becoming the forth most famous Sikh in England behind those three Manchester United season ticket holders that stand next to Alex Ferguson's dug-out for the Champions League games.
Armed with plenty of self deprecating humor and a humble manor, in the book and in person, the critical ingredient for any ethnic minority to make it in England (something his father had taught him to exploit early on), 'Monty' has quickly became a much commented on iconic curio in English cricket. But I think his big value and interest to the public is really about immigration and how the Brits want our new citizens to behave, the core themes of the book he tries to put over.
In the year of 2006 there was no doubt that Monty Gudmuhsen Panasar was seen by the media as the anti-Muslim, the remedy for all our Sub Continent ills, the non threatening Asian guy with the beard and funny headwear that wasn't going to blow us all up, the first comical Indian since It Aint Half Hot Mums 'Chah Wallah Mohammed' (Dino Shafeek) allowed to be celebrated by the nation for being that head wobbling comical Indian stereotype we all grew up with. America had Apoo from The Simpson's and we have Monty! And bless the Indians for not making an issue over that mocking but harmless British sense of humor when it comes to pigeon-holing ethnic minorities like Mr Panasar. Calling your Sikh workmate 'Monty' is nothing but a term of endearment in this country now and the man himself makes that point strongly. When his family moved to England they told him in no uncertain manner that he should respect and tolerate our culture and ways, just as the English do abroad. Isn't that what an Englishman is all about Monty?
At first there's no doubt the crowd were laughing at his atrocious fielding antics and awkward manner in the test matches, as were the Northamptonshire supporters like me who have followed his career from the academy and second eleven. In fact it was me, and not Tim Rice, who came up with Monty Python! I used to watch him go for boundary after boundary in the early days and yet he still kept plugging on, as funny as he looked in those days. He used to wear a huge white Patka (junior turban) and goggle glasses. It was quite a sight. You almost felt that he didn't want to dive around in case that Patka flew off in one direction and his specs in the other to even more laughter. But now we know he's the business and Monty Mania has died down, the Northamptonshire 'left armer' is respected by his peers and the boozy crowd alike. It's Monty 'Panadol' now, the world class spinner who gives the batsman real headaches. England and Northants fans know that if Monty is unleashed on a last day pitch he will go through most sides in the world, as he will in Sri-Lank this month. With his enormous hands-some eleven inches from wrist to Index finger tip-there's no one quite like him out there now, surely to go on to great things, Anil Kumbles record not out of his reach.
Monty the man...
Being a sports writer on Northamptonshire cricket for the last four years for the local paper I have to know more than most about this guy, which isn't a great deal. I haven't chatted to him much as my writing tends to be subjective and critical and so the players don't want to say much. But Monty's such a nice guy its just water off a Bombay Ducks back with him. As expected I didn't get a mention in the book but he does say the local journalists are fair and any mention of cricket helps to promote the sport, even though I do give him and his team mates a lot of stick sometimes to the point where one of the woeful seam bowlers wanted to break my neck.lol. NCCC are rubbish at the moment.
His religion and family are the real grounding force for the guy and he really doesn't have a bad word to say about any one, even behind their back, which is the reason why you shouldn't buy this book. The two cardinal sins of writing sports biographies is you mustn't be still playing at the top level and you mustn't be looking to make friends, Duncan Fletcher learning to his cost that a brutally honest book will only mean a distinct lack of job offers in the game from now on in. When Monty picked up the pen for this book, openly admitting in the said tome that he wanted to 'cash in' on 2006 with projects like this, he was not about to spread some negative karma. Monty just wants to play cricket and be liked, and for that reason alone he so nice to the point of dull, writing very boring books, especially for cricket fans.
My interest in this autobiography was strictly because it was the first book to be written by a senior Northants player for ten years. Not only did I hope it would give me some insight into the player and the dressing room dynamics at Northampton for my full page column (the notorious mutiny over the removal of Kepler Wessells last year the big story here) but maybe spread some light on the Flintoff boozing incidents and that annulled test match with Pakistan, let alone the death of Bob Woolmer and Fletcher himself. Monty's only interesting line on Fletcher is that the coach always told his players that 'he doesn't say anything in public that he wouldn't say face to face to his team', which made me chuckle.
But, in keeping with this books obsequious tone, Monty just brushes over those notorious incidents and moves right along. In fact the only remotely controversial comment here is that Mullitheran is "double jointed", and he once told his family to bet on him-Monty- to hit a six in a test match at 33-1, which he proceeded to do...
The book...
Monty opens up the read with his proudest moment in the sport so far, removing the great Sachin Tendulker in only his third over in Test Cricket. The little magician thought the ball was going to turn, but spat straight on, trapping the pad between the wicket, Monty's stock dismissal. His celebration also went down in history, looking like he could run all the way back to Luton after that one. In extreme contrast to that euphoria I saw Tendulker, Monty and Raul Dravid buying a burger on Northampton's market square when India had a two day match here, me and an Indian guy the only ones who had any clue of this surreal event if you consider the immense adulation of these three away from the obscurity of a crappy midlands market town.
Monty Junior...
Born in Stopsley-Luton to first generation immigrant parents he was very much a cricket fan from birth, state schools and the local park dragging him up in a traditional academic Indian hard working family way. The parents knew that education and an arranged marriage was the tried and tested formula to succeed in England and arriving in Luton as an engineer to work for Vauxhall his dad wasn't about to go back on that plan.
With Monty's huge hands he started out as a seamer in the lower regional grounds, but persuaded to push the spin bowling side of things by the Northamptonshire player Paul Taylor. With the help of a close family friend and cricket coach called 'Hitu', from then on in he didn't look back, becoming the youngest ever to play for Bedfordshire at 16 years of age, the minor counties team that are one grade below the top 18 counties and so the professional game.
Monty the Pro...
He and his parents chose Northants over Essex to take up their offers to play first class cricket because Northampton was nearer to Luton. By 2000 he was playing for England U-19s (still in specs) but lingering in Northants seconds under the determined tutorage of ex England spinner Nick Cook, who claims to have discovered Monty. With the successful spin duo of Graeme Swann and Jason Brown in the side exploiting Northampton's spin friendly pitches opportunities would be few and far between for Monty, especially as he was off to Loughbourough University to do I.T for what turned out to be four years.
With a successful first class debut against Leicestershire, sharing 8 wickets with the ego maniac that is Graeme Swann, we all knew we had something special here. The odd looking Asia guy in the turban was showing real class at the next level. After taking 42 wickets in the seconds, the highest in 2001 by all counties, it would be 22 long months before he played first class cricket again.
By 2005 he was a regular for Northants, graduated in both I.T and left arm spin. But with Ashley Giles and the Ashes heroics there was never any talk of England-accept by a local sports writer called me. But what do I know. After being selected for the Academy in Adelaide the winter before I thought he was pushing Giles big time.
England...
The Sub Continent England tours are the traditional ones for senior England players to cry off with all manner of excuses over the years. Trescothick had come up with this bizarre stress disorder whilst Vaughan, Jones and Giles preferred to recuperate from injuries than pick up a dose of the Bangalore Boogie. With Gilo out it was Monty who got the call to 'tweak', ahead of the likes of Batty, Darymple and Loudon that had been tried before.
In the summer of 2005 Monty and Brown had picked up all twenty wickets at Northampton, a county record, a match watched by England selector David Graveny. I told him there and then that this kid is the one and you should pick him. With three months of tough grade cricket 'Down Under' to follow he was ready by January, and so the India tour, in my opinion.
There's a lovely line in the book (one of very few) from Nagpur on the first test when Monty is picked to play the first test. The night before the game he knocks on Captain Flintoffs door with a piece of paper with his field placement ideas on. Freddie looked bemused and impressed at the same time. It was the first time he had ever seen that level of thought from an England player.
Not only would he go on to take Tendulkers wicket but ping back Dravids stump too with his cunning plans. His first batting experience would also make an impact, guiding Collingwood to his first test ton in a crucial last wicket 66 partnership. 77 distant and immediate family members would receive Monty's haul of complimentary tickets. A 1-1 series draw was a excellent result under Freddie's leadership.
2006 would see Monty's first five wicket haul, taking his 'Michelle' (Five for) against Sri-Lanka. But the brilliant 'Mulli' would take 8-20 to win the Trent Bridge test to level that series, the first signs Freddie wasn't the man for the job.
A three test series with Pakistan followed a Freddie injury, Strauss taking over the captaincy and delivering that controversial 3-0 win. The brilliant Mohammed Yousef was in scintillating form, on his way to breaking Viv Richards test runs scored in a year record with a total of 1,786 runs.
After Monty and Harmisson took 19 of the twenty wickets on the bouncy Old Trafford wicket, England never looked back and won the series. Pakistan were up to their old tricks again and managed to lose the second test from 447-3, Inzy falling on his stumps, a similar spectacular collapse to follow. But like I said before Monty does not want to comment on the ball tampering incident that would deliver the first ever annulled test match in the games 123 year history.
Monty's Ashes...
No one thought we had a chance 'Down Under' and so it should prove. With the Aussie first three with 78 test centuries between them the series was lost earl on, 346-3 at the close on day one. For some unknown reason Monty was held back by Fletcher for the first two tests, the catastrophic Adelaide defeat from England being 551 early on day three to collapse on the final day to Warne's devilish leg-spin, ending things before Monty could make an impact in the series by test three. The wider and flatter seamed Kookaburra ball used over there was proving problems for Giles and he couldn't reproduce his Ashes heroics. Monty would bag 8 wickets at Perth, including 5-82, the player the Aussies feared the most because they hadn't seen him, effectively wasted here.
The World Cup didn't improve matters either, Monty called up in desperation. England have been crap at one-day international cricket for a long time and, as expected, bombed out early on here, sinking like Freddie's pedallo. Again there was no comment from Monty on Fletcher or Flintoff. The other downer for Monty that year was the establishment's decision to bizarrely hand royal 'thicko' totty Zara Phillips the coveted Sports Personality of the Year, a woeful star to the Ashes snatching away the pot at the last.
As the essential ingredients to bulk out this book are the two years of Monty's England career the biography dissolves into a series of test match reports from Monty, as indeed my review has. As I'm not recommending you to buy his book you may as well carry on reading the best bits here.
The deteriorating West Indies in England would see Peter Moore's in charge for 2007, but didn't prove much opposition for Monty this summer, up on the board at lords with 6-126, the highest by a spinner at HQ since Bishen Bedi in 74, another one of Montys hero's. The series would also have the coldest test match on record, the temp dropping to 7.4 degrees at Headingley on day three, Monty rounding things off for a 2-0 series win with ten wickets in the match.
India proved far tougher opposition for England and Monty, playing spin like no others, Monty getting some tap in the three match series, his final average around 50. Such was the injury crisis in the bowling department, central contracts beginning to backfire, Panasar was the most experienced of the five man attack, bizarrely. The impressive Indian side would inflict our first home series defeat for three years, mixed emotions for Monty.
ANY GOOD!
I was going to call this book 'Monty's T*rd as it's that tame and boring-it really is very dull, like the man, and a book that tries too hard not to offend, which we all know makes for a poor autobiography. Cricket fans will hate it, Northants fans like me let down some. It's certainly not a book for the neutral. It sold well in the Indian community, even in hard back, Monty clearly a role model worthy of financial support. Waterston's in Northampton sold over 800 copies, whilst Luton and Leicester shifted numbers close to Harry Potter. There's no doubt Monty is loaded with talent and cash after 2006, but he isn't loaded with writing talent. This is the most innocent and non-offensive and intrusive sports book I have ever read guys.
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Amazon: £10:99
Waterstones: £14:99
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If you are a big sports book fan there here are the William Hill Sports books of the year and finalists.
Winner: Provided You Don't Kiss Me: 20 Years with Brian Clough,
Author: Duncan Hamilton
Runners up
http://www.waterstones.com/waterstonesweb/navi gate.do?pPageID=1463
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Summary: A book for his parents only...
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