Boring, Banal and Blah (Posh and Becks - Andrew Morton)

Member Name: zoe_page_1

Product:	Posh and Becks - Andrew Morton
Date:	27/02/02 (74 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Erm...

Disadvantages: Too many to mention

This book’s taken me a while – I bought it at Manchester airport in October on my way to New York, started it on the plane and now, 5 months later, have just finished it. The problem, you see, was that for most of the way through, I wanted to slap a certain Mr Morton. Why then, you ask, did you bother finishing it? Two reasons – one is that I always try to finish books I’ve started, no matter how bad, and the other is, I was bored. It was there on my shelf, and so I read it.

The book is an unauthorized biography of Britain’s King and Queen of celebdom – Posh and Becks. One thing I will admit, is that it’s well researched. The book tracks their initially separate and then intertwined lives from childhood to present, and includes quotes from friends, relatives, neighbours and colleagues past and present, as well as the couple themselves. “I would go crazy if (David) lost 4 million pounds by having his hair cut”, says Victoria at one point. Well, erm, sorry, but wouldn’t anyone? Maybe that’s the point though – to show that deep down they’re really just like us…..

I haven’t read all that many biographies, usually preferring pure fiction instead, but I’ve read enough to know that this is not a good one. It’s not that their lives are so dull because in fact they’re quite the opposite. Instead it’s to do with the bias. The entire way through, Morton slates the couple and their families, to such an extent that you wonder why he bothered writing it in the first place. If he thinks that little of them, why on earth did he invest so much time and effort into researching them? Oh yeah, money…. The couple tried to ban this book but only succeeded in having a small number of sections removed. We’ll never really know what those bits said, but I’d imagine they weren’t particularly flattering. Even bearing this in mind, the fact
s he presents are hardly new to most people: any trashy mag or tabloid reader would have known most if not all of what he says before opening the cover.

I’ll probably get some comments about this, but I like Posh and Becks. Many a day I’ve wished I worked at Kendals, our nearest rival and a place they’ve been known to shop (all we get at work is people from Coronation Street, oh and Tim Vincent). Anyway, although this book might have gone someway to dispelling my admiration for them, there’s no way I believe he’s told us the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

If we ignore the actual content and focus on the style and layout, we still aren’t left with a good book. I know from enough English lessons that you have to write in the style your target audiences will get most from, but seriously, the way he wrote this makes some of the tabloids look like quality literature. It’s just so slow and repetitive and blah. Throughout the book there are several pages of colour photographs of the couple and their families. Few of these are original though, most having already appeared in the likes of Hello and Now. They’re accompanied by snide captions, focussing on everything from her weight to his hair.

Amazon says “the biographer is known for pulling no punches in his quest for a page-turning, titillating read”. Well I was certainly turning the pages, but only really in a bid to get to the end as soon as possible. At the end of the day, this book lives up to his reputation, but that’s hardly surprising. He wasn’t nice about Diana or Monica Lewinsky, so why would you expect him to be nice about these two? Definitely not worth the £5.99, but then it’ll probably be showing up in bargain basements for 50p any day soon.

Available in paperback and hardback. ISBN 1854798863 or 1854795996

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