Never get involved in a land war in Asia (The Princess Bride - William Goldman)

Name: hogsflesh

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Product:	The Princess Bride - William Goldman
Date:	03/07/02 (156 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Hello, My name is, Inigo Montoya

Disadvantages: You killed my father, Prepare to die

I was sitting in a pub recently with some friends, and one of them recommended that I read The Princess Bride. My immediate reaction was to roundly abuse him in the strongest possible terms - The Princess Bride isn't a book, idiot, it's a film. But he maintained that The Princess Bride is in fact a book, the book pre-dates the film, and that the book is as good as, if not better than, the film. "Inconceivable" I retorted (heh heh heh, that's funny if you've seen the film) and the conversation moved on to other things.

Turns out he was right, though, damn him. There is indeed a novel called The Princess Bride, it does pre-date the film by about ten years, and it is every bit as good as the film, if not better. William Goldman, who wrote the book, also wrote the screenplay for the film.

It's the story of Buttercup, the most beautiful girl in the world. She falls in love with a boy called Westley who works on her father's farm. He goes off to seek his fortune so that they might marry, but is killed by pirates. Buttercup catches the eye of Prince Humperdinck, heir to the throne of Florin (where the story is set), and they are engaged to be married (Buttercup can never love him, as she still pines for poor, dead Westley, but the Prince doesn't care about that). Shortly after Humperdinck has introduced Buttercup to the people of Florin, she is kidnapped by the evil genius Vizzini and his loveable henchmen Fezzik (the biggest, strongest man in the world) and Inigo Montoya (the finest swordsman ever to have lived). As they flee Florin with the Princess, they notice a mysterious Man In Black relentlessly pursuing them.

And from there on the action never really lets up. The story takes classic fairytale elements and weaves them into a thoroughly entertaining story. Since the same person wrote the book and the film, the mood is exactly the same in both. All the great scenes from the film are here, and they all wo
rk brilliantly in prose. I was completely won over by the description of the sword fight between Inigo and the Man in Black at the top of the Cliffs of Insanity, which is every bit as funny and exciting as the version we see in the film. There are also some cracking bits that aren't in the film, most notably the hideous Zoo of Death, where Humperdinck keeps his deadly animals. Fezzik and Inigo's hazardous descent through the Zoo's various levels would have worked well on film, so I guess they must have not had the budget for it.

There are some great bits and pieces scattered throughout, too. The description of Buttercup's rise up the rankings of the world's most beautiful women is splendid, as is the account of the unusual career of the Dread Pirate Roberts. There are occasional moments of nastiness (Buttercup's near-death experience in the snow sand, or the hideous torture machine. And be warned: some of the wrong people die). The storytelling and prose style suggest that Terry Pratchett owes a massive debt to this book (which is far better than anything he's written).

There is a bit more to it than just the story, though. Goldman claims that what he's actually doing here isn't writing a novel at all, but merely abridging an existing novel called The Princess Bride by Florin's greatest literary figure, S Morgenstern. So in addition to a cracking adventure story we also get all of Goldman's footnotes about the various bits that he's cut out of Morgenstern's masterpiece (which was a complicated satire on Florinese tradition, with the adventure story only tacked on as an afterthought). Goldman also tells us about how his father originally read the book to him when he was ill, and how this led on to his own love of reading. We get stories of his teacher at school and his less than satisfactory family life. At one point he even claims to have written a chapter that isn't in the Morgenstern origina
l (although he isn't allowed to print it in the book for legal reasons, so we'll have to take his word for it).

All of this Morgenstern business could have been rather intrusive, but somehow isn't. The last thing I expected when I picked up this book was a kind of light-hearted version of Nabokov's "Pale Fire" (because of course Florin and Morgenstern never really existed outside of Goldman's imagination). I don't really understand why he chose to write the book in this way, but what the hell, it works. And although the book is pretty clever it never rams its cleverness down your throat (not like some post-modern fairytales I could mention - much as I love Angela Carter, she never left the reader with any doubts about just how clever she was).

The edition I have is the 25th anniversary version. It includes an introduction about the making of the film (with some great anecdotes about Andre The Giant, who played Fezzik), and a tantalising epilogue where Goldman presents the first chapter of Morgenstern's sequel, "Buttercup's Baby". He's only allowed to show us the first chapter, as he claims that Morgenstern's estate has commissioned Stephen King to abridge the rest of the work (there's a very funny bit where Goldman confronts King about this). I do hope that some day Goldman gets round to writing the rest of the sequel, as it does end on a cliffhanger (almost literally). I somehow doubt that he will, though.

I can see no reason at all why anyone wouldn't want to read The Princess Bride. It's tremendous. It has everything: romance, adventure, comedy, poetry, revenge, a fire swamp, Rodents Of Unusual Size and a fiendish eleven-fingered villain. If you've seen the film, read the book. If you've read the book but not seen the film, then see the film. If you've neither read the book nor seen the film then you should ask yourself some serious questions about the d
irection your life is taking.

(Couldn't think of a title for this to save my life, so I just used a quote that's in the film. I think it's in the book, too, but I couldnt swear to it.)

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