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Rubbish Boyfriends - Jessie Jones

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Genre: Fiction / Author: Jessie Jones / Paperback / Book is published 2008-05-14 by AVON, a division of HarperCollins Publishers Ltd

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      10.12.2009 21:21
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      Give this one a miss

      Weird would be an apt way of describing this book as it enters uncharted territory by interspersing the tale of a woman in labour with trips back in time to an eclectic collection of losers, wasters and freaks also known as the ex-boyfriends and a brief ex-girlfriend. Dayna Harris is quickly discovering that all the good men are taken and shes is left scraping the bottom of the barrel of misfits in her quest for Mr Right or even Mr Right now.

      To say that Dayna Harris puts it about like a cheap hooker on a Saturday night would be unkind but rather accurate. A shallow, irritating, self absorbed money grabber, shes not particularly likeable as a character and this leave you wondering why so many men fall at her feet. I know its fiction but its rather tedious to read a novel about a person you couldn't give a wotsit about. Apparently one reason for not liking one of the boyfriends was a wotsit the size of a wotsit. True perhaps but even the smallest of men are capable of developing other talents which more than make up for this.

      Far more time is spent in developing the character of the lesbian neighbour with a penchant for artificial insemination a la turkey baster than is devoted to any of the boyfriends or even Dayna herself. Still it gave the author chance to go for the shock factor with an impromptu but yawn worthy gay encounter that went down like a wet firework on bonfire night.

      Perhaps the most interesting part of the book is the synopsis on the rear page, its creatively written but bears no resemblance whatsoever to the 436 page novel that I have just trudged through. The whole concept of the book appears to be to entice you to discover which of these potential sperm donors is the father of the baby whose birth commences on page one and finally happens on page 431. I know women can drag out birthing stories forever but this quite simply takes the biscuit and indeed the whole cheeseboard. Unfortunately in the process it fails to say anything earth shatteringly new or even vaguely interesting.

      The book ends with a wet splat and I'm rather glad I'll never have to experience that ever again.

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