Pregnancy reading. (Three in a Bed: The Benefits of Sleeping with Your Baby - Deborah Jackson)

Member Name: weeonelass

Product:	Three in a Bed: The Benefits of Sleeping with Your Baby - Deborah Jackson
Date:	14/10/01 (71 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: explains how cot death risk is reduced, full of useful info.

Disadvantages: a bit one sided, some parts are extream, makes some feel guilty if you do not agree

This is such a good book to read whilst you are pregnant. It discusses one woman's experience of having her family all share the same bed and the benefits of it.

I read this book when I was pregnant as I intended to have my baby share the same bed as me. Deboarah Jackson, the author, tells of her experiences and research.

This, believe it or not is quite a controversial subject. When we decided that we wanted to have our new born baby in bed with us we got so much hassle from everyone.
Comments like you will suffocate it, you will never get it out of your bed and generally interferance.

The reason we came to this decision was to help prevent cot death. In the book it explains how sharing your bed with your new born prevents cot death. It has something to do with the baby feeling the mothers breathing patterns and breathing in the the mothers carbon dioxide and the oxygen in the air. It is also ideal for breast fed babies as the babies learn to help themselves without distrurbing their parents sleep.
My daughter mastered this art and we have had very few sleepless nights.

If you are tune with your baby your body automatically clicks into parent mode and you are constantly aware of your child at all times. Amazing really. You will not roll onto your baby or suffocate it. You must not drink alcohol or take any medication which helps you sleep. If you have flu it is also not a good idea for the baby to stay in the bed. In thses cases it is a good idea to put the child in the cot.

The book also describes how natural this is. In third world countries cot death does not exisist. Countries like china where all the family sleep in the same room or the same bed babies do not die of cot death.
It also explains how a study in New zealand showed a really high rate of cot death even with babies who slept with there parents. It was discovered that this occurs because of the high numbers of parents who smok
e and take drugs. The risk of cot death for babies with parents who smoke is significantly increased all over the world. This seems to be an important factor in prevention. Another thing that seems to contribute is over heating. So if a baby is in it's own cot then there are proceedures to follow that helps to prevent it like placinig a child on it's back with their feet at the bottom of the cot. If in your bed you can tell if the baby is too hot or cold as you can feel the fidgiting.

I felt that any risk was too much and this book helped me to understand the importance of bed sharing. It made me feel that I could hold my head up high and say "yes my daughter sleeps with us and we are doing our bit to prevent cot death". Some may feel it a bit extream but to me it was so natural to have her stay with us. If you think about it logically, A baby is kept nice and warm and safe in the womb and when it's born still needs this security. By putting a baby in a cot alone must feel like abandonment. Just my opinion, I do not mean to judge others.

I do think some aspects are a bit strange. Like the whole family all sleeping in one bed even when the children were at school and other babies were born. She just went out and bought another double bed and pushed the two double beds together. A bit too far I feel.

What about sex some have asked. Well in the beginning this is far from the mind especially if stitches are involved. But there are ways around it. It does make you use your imagination as we all know that sex is not only confined to the bedroom!!! In the book she does actually discuss this aspect and makes a few strong statements which does put things into perspective. She says something along the lines of "....is a few moments of passion more important then the health of a child. Surely it is not a lot to expcet for a couple to wait until there child is safe." (this is not the exact quote)


Well my opinion on this is that it is still important for intimacy between a couple and just because a child comes along this does not need to be sacrificed. It is important for the couple to be close as it is for the family to be close. Like I said a little imagination goes a long way.

I do think this is a really useful book to read for parents who are thinking about bed sharing or preventing cot death. It is a wee bit extream in parts and at the end of the day it is down to the individuals decision. It is full of useful information regarding cot death but is a bit one sided as obviously she feels quite strong about it.

My opinion is that every parent makes the right decision for their child because it is right for them. If parents do not want to bed share then that is fine. There should not be any guilt as there are safety proceedures to be carried out.

For those who do decide to bed share it is an amazing experience and we are all so close. I had my daughter in our bed until she was one. She then had her own bed against ours as cot death risk does not decrease completely until two. We had no trouble putting her in her room at two when she also gave up breast feeding.
Do not let others who do not agree interfere. I had a lot of hassle from family members, some can even be quite nasty and treat me like I am a terrible mother.

If you do decided as a family to do this, be united and do not let anyone tell you that you are doing anything but the best for you.

I know that it does not suit everyone but I must say we have a very well balanced, confident and bright little girl. We must have done something right.

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