Not For Parents of Angels (Toddler Taming - Dr. Christopher Green)

Member Name: Caradawn

Product:	Toddler Taming - Dr. Christopher Green
Date:	18/09/03 (2462 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: Lots of sound, practical advice., A non-judgemental approach to parenting.

Disadvantages: Parents of perfect angels won't find it very useful.

I must confess that I am lucky enough to have children with good temperaments. The only thing that did concern me about my two year old was her anti-social behaviour. I mentioned it to my health visitor and was assured that this was quite normal behaviour for a toddler. She did, however, recommend that I have a read of a book called Toddler Taming by Dr Christopher Green.

I originally tried to borrow it from the library, but they didn't have it in at the time, so I decided to buy it instead. I have heard rumours that Amazon is a good place for low prices on books, so that's where I went to see if they had it. They had several editions of Toddler Taming and being the cheapskate that I am, I opted for the cheapest. It wasn?t until it was delivered that I discovered it was the Pocket Edition; the full title being "Toddler Taming Tips". It seems that this edition is aimed at "parents with less time on their hands". As incredibly useful as this edition is, I was pleased when the library got the latest full edition (New Toddler Taming) in. It has a lot more detail and in some places makes more sense than the Pocket Edition does.

Dr Green is a paediatrician who currently lives in Australia. He has two children himself, which in itself is promising. Something that can be really annoying for parents is having bad advice given to them from someone who has never had children themselves. I have a friend who is a childrens' nurse. She often used to be asked by the parents she doled out advice to, whether she had children herself. Her reply would be: "No, but I have over 10 years of experience working with children and that's just as good." Now she has her own child and realises that there is no substitute for raising your own children.

Dr Green has an amusing little disclaimer at the beginning of the book, that he has never actually succeeded in 'taming' a toddler. However, for over 20 years h
e has been helping parents with his advice on babies, toddlers and young children. The advice given in this book is what he has worked on over time with the help of parents who have come to see him. He would encourage parents try out different solutions to toddler behavioural problems and the techniques which worked were kept and those that didn't were discarded. So the advice and techniques given in this book are truly tried and tested. This book also describes different toddler behaviour types, so what ever your toddler is like you will probably find her described in here. It can be refreshing to know that if someone on the other side of the world can describe your child then she has got to be normal.

From my own personal experience, the advice Dr Green offers really does work. As well behaved as my toddler usually is in the daytime, when it comes to night she isn't so great. She was over two years old before she started sleeping through the night. She wouldn?t go to sleep initially unless I rocked her in my arms, meaning that when the sleep cycle brought her near to waking she found herself in a different environment and needed cuddling back to sleep. This was actually before I read Toddler Taming and it was my health visitor who suggested I try Dr Green's Controlled Crying Technique. It didn't work as quickly for me as it did for her with her own children, but I persisted and after a few weeks it got much better. My daughter was able to go to sleep by herself and I didn't need to get up to her quite so often. When the time came to transfer her from a cot to a bed, she created a new problem. She would keep getting out and leaving her room. By this time I had Toddler Taming and was able to get advice from the book. Again, I didn't get an immediate result. It took a few weeks and when the new baby arrived we had to start all over again, but it did work.

I have found myself using a lot of the advice I have got from this book
, everything from dealing with tantrums to sibling rivalry. Sometimes the techniques worked very quickly and other times they took a bit longer, but I have yet to come across a problem that I was unable to solve using the advice from Toddler Taming. The key seems to be persistence and when you come to realise the reasons why toddlers behave and react the way they do then it is much easier to deal with them. Dr Green points out that the main thing toddlers want is attention. This is why good behaviour should be rewarded and bad behaviour ignored; although this is often easier said than done. That is why he suggests 'time out' when things escalate. This concept is not fully explained in the Pocket Edition, which is why I personally prefer the full edition. Another thing which isn't really touched on in the Pocket Edition is that a child's behaviour and temperament is largely hereditary and only partly due to the environment she is raised in. Of course the only thing the parent has control over is the environment. This must be a relief for the parents of particularly unruly toddlers to know. Too often, people blame a child's bad behaviour on bad parenting. Most likely, though, a hyperactive toddler will have a hyperactive parent. I'm sure you?ve heard the phrase "like father, like son"!

Dr Green has a very non-judgemental approach. He doesn't agree with dummies or smacking, but is aware that some people use these. So if a dummy gets Mum and Dad a bit of peace then he will say use one. He doesn't think that smacking is necessary, but feels that if a parent does believe in smacking, they should only use it as a last resort. He even gives advice on when and when not to smack. He also realises that what is a problem for one family may be quite normal for another family and doesn't presume to tell anyone how to raise their child.

Besides offering advice on behavioural problems you might encounter, the book als
o gives advice on coping with more specialised situations such as single parenting and handling separation and divorce in a way so as to cause the least stress on the children. It also has a chapter on toilet training, which has sound enough advice, but I have to say I didn't find it quite as useful as a leaflet I got from my health visitor. The only other thing that I feel could go against this book is the fact that he tends to speak his mind. Personally I find this quite refreshing, although some people may get offended by it, especially if they realise that they are the type of person he is talking about.

Before you start thinking that Toddler Taming is just boring facts and advice, I'd better dispel that fear. This has got to be the funniest factual book on children I have ever read. Just a few hours before giving birth to my second child, this book had me rolling with laughter. He has included some wonderful anecdotes about his own and other parents' experiences. The book is also illustrated with amusing little cartoons. My daughter was particularly enamoured with the picture on the front of New Toddler Taming. She often tells me about the "Boy putting cat in toilet!"

As Dr Christopher Green says: "Children are fun, enjoy them now" and this book will help you to enjoy those stressful toddler years; unless of course you have been blessed with an angel and wonder what all the fuss is about!

Toddler Taming is published by Vermilion. The recommended retail price is £5.99 for Toddler Taming Tips and £12.99 for New Toddler Taming. Also available from Dr Christopher Green Babies!, Beyond Toddlerdom (which will be my next purchase!) and Overcoming ADHD.


~#~ Caradawn ~#~

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