My life as a blood pressure machine (Adult Nurse)

Member Name: freespirit1402

Product:	Adult Nurse
Date:	14/07/02 (1381 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: The chance to make a difference, The people you work with, The people you meet

Disadvantages: You need a lot of support, Crap money, Long hours

This opinion is designed to assist anybody who is considering a career in nursing and doing their nursing training.

I began my training in March 2000 and am now in my final year, due to qualify in 8 months. To be quite honest I have my up days and my down days. During my up days I wonder how I could ever do any other job than the one I have chosen. On my down days I wonder what on earth possessed me to start my training in the first place. Often I find the down days are more frequent when I am engaged in a block of study and am not on the wards, which is where I find my greatest reward.

When I began my diploma the set out was different to how it is now as six months after I started curricular changes were implemented in an attempt to rectify perceived difficulties with our version of the course. The course I am doing is modular. We spend 2300 hours over 3 years in the lecture and exam rooms and 2300 hours, spread over nine placement units on the wards. We get two attempts at each exam and can then re enrol on the module for a further two attempts if necessary. My marks are not spectacular but I have thus far done enough to pass first time each time. During onward placements as a student you are supernumerary meaning you are not a rostered member of staff but additional to the numbers. You are also assigned a nurse to be your mentor, they sign your paperwork, you spend the majority of your placement with them and they should be your first point of call in difficulties.

The new diploma, which is what anyone now considering their training will do, involves 1500 hours in theory and 3100 in practice giving a ratio of 66% of the course spent on the wards. Discussing this with the people doing the new course it seems that there are some advantages and some disadvantages to this. Although an obvious advantage is more on ward experience, they only have 6 placements meaning they see less of a range of specialties than our year and have
to do more self study. I thought I would give you a brief walk through of my last two and a half years on the course to give you an idea of what to expect.

My first year was far more theory orientated than the second and third. I started the course in March but did not get to see the inside of a ward until July. By this time the whole year was raring to go and rather frustrated. I had begun to have doubt about the course but had resolved to give it until the end of the placement. I did a four week placement on a cardiovascular surgery ward. Whilst I had to problems with the practical aspects of the job I found the emotional aspect took some getting used to. Seeing a man in his early fifties being told he had terminal cancer was the hardest sight of this placement and the smooth handling of the nurse was something I thought I would never gain. When my placement ended however, I found I did not wish to return to the university, I had found somewhere I felt I could make a difference and it was a strong drawing factor in keeping me on a smooth track and continuing my training. I felt an increased sense of confidence and my place in things. Once I got back to university, however, the frustration set in again. Once again I set myself a time limit to make a decision about the course ? this time it was Christmas.

In October and November I did a split placement. I did five weeks with the Health Visitor which I found immensely frustrating as I was not physically allowed to do anything but watch. As a person who has a preference for rolling up their sleeves and pitching in I found this excruciating with the only highlight being my two days with the district nurse. Following this I went back to my first placement for another four weeks. Once again I felt like I could understand what my training was leading me too and enjoyed my on ward experience so much I had no wish to return to university.

Christmas came and went and by January I fo
und myself back out on the ward for a four week European Union required mental health placement. I was put onto a ward that specialised in care of the elderly and rehabilitation. I found this deeply offensive as it reeked of the implication all elderly people are mentally infirm and actually voiced this to my head of year. I was told there was little choice as not enough mental health placements existed for all of us. I went to the placement and enjoyed the rehabilitative aspects of care. There is something deeply satisfying about a ward where patients stay longer than most, giving you a chance to really get to know them. There is also a satisfaction in seeing a patient with difficulties walking or dressing themselves come to the ward and, upon discharge go home independent. Of course this is not always the case but whatever happens you feel you have had the chance to make a change in that persons life.

I entered my second year back at university but was finding it hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel. The first year had been very long and I seemed to have an eternity left on my course. I decided that by my half way point I would make a concrete decision about what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I spent eight weeks in June and July on care of the elderly placements. Despite many peoples reservations I enjoyed this time. I did four weeks in a nursing home where I found I developed a deep affection for many of its residents, in particular one elderly lady who I loved to walk with in the garden (One advantage of not being counted in the rostered numbers was the time I had to do this). I also returned to the Rehab ward for a further four weeks. I have developed a very close working relationship with these staff now as I often work weekends as an Auxillary Nurse there.

During the summer I was working as an Auxillary Nurse to earn some extra money when the most upsetting sight of my career occurred. Working on a gynae war
d a young pregnant woman had a miscarriage and I saw the foetus afterwards. I went home that night and cried my eyes out. This made me once again wonder at the skills of the nurses. How could I ever be good enough to deal with a mother in that situation?

By September I was back on the ward for eight weeks on award specialising in Respiratory medicine. It gave me a chance to overcome my biggest squeamishness: Sputum and Phlegm. It also allayed some of my fears about my ability to interact with people as I became very close to a young woman with advanced cancer and, as time went on she began to tell me of some of her fears ? for herself, for her family. I could offer no practical solutions but that didn?t matter. All she wanted was someone to talk to. This was an insight for me. Sometimes I cannot do anything but listen and that?s enough. I realised I tended to approach things from a practical point of view too much and feel my approach to people improved as a result of this remarkable lady. This placement was however very difficult for me as my granddad had died six months earlier of lung cancer and I was not dealing very well with caring for two patients on the ward with end stage lung cancer. I ended up having to see my mentor about it as I could not cope with it. The support I received was fantastic, I was not made to do anything that caused me any more upset. By the end of the placement I managed to work through my feelings but this would not have been possible without the support I received.

I went back to University on a high. I had no down days but looked forward to getting through exams and getting back on the wards. In January I went to A&E. This had been the placement I had looked forward to since the start of my course but found I was disappointed. The work was everything I expected and more: Challenging, Rewarding, Shocking Varied and Exhausting but I felt unsupported as I had no mentor for half the placement and the sta
ff seemed sometimes at a loss as to where to put me. As I hoped to end up working on A&E post qualification I found this disappointing. I also realised that maybe I would end up in A&E eventually but it certainly was not going to be immediately after qualification, I needed time to build up confidence and competence first on a ward.

I returned to university for theory feeling rather unsure about myself as what my plans had taken a U-Turn and I was not sure where to go next.

My third year started and I was rather worried that I still had no long term plans for my future. In May I went to a Trauma and Orthopaedic ward for eight weeks. This was quite possibly the most challenging and rewarding placement I have done in two and a half years. My mentor had never mentored a student before and her enthusiasm was infectious. Before I knew what was happening to me she had me thinking like a nurse, making decisions, talking to doctors and physiotherapists and facing my fears about my competence. By half way through my placement I asked the senior sister how good my chances were of taking a job on the unit next year. I was told that if there was a space for me it was fairly good. I also had a very rewarding experience in taking a shy first year student under my wing as it were and by the end of my placement she told me she did not want me to leave.

That placement ended two weeks ago and I am back at University taking exams and handing in essays. I hope that if you are still awake by this point (I know its long but the words just wouldn?t stop, so I hope I have not bored you). Writing this has brought back many emotions to me, I have smiled and have had tears in my eyes. I also hope I have not painted you a black picture. I have tried to be honest and frank and point out my the bad experiences I have had but also the immensely good experiences I have had. From talking to my friends I am not the only one who has had these fears and doub
ts. I often doubt myself and my choices but the support of my friends and staff members on certain placements has kept me going. I still have my days where I am unsure about my future but I realise how much I love my job and the thrill I get from feeling I can make a difference in people?s life, which is why I entered nursing in the first place. I have two placements left now ? six weeks with the district nurse and a final unassigned nine week placement where I have requested to go back to Trauma again.

++UPDATE++
I have seven months of training left and have come to a very hard decision. Once I finish my training I will be leaving the NHS and trying a new career direction. I have told my parents and am looking into other career opportunities. There are many reasons behind this, both personal and professional and emotional. Please do not allow this to put you off if you are making the decision to enter your training yourself. I am not representative of the whole population and if you have made the considered decision to enter nursing I am sure you will excel. If on the flipside you are considering the same decision as myself you have my support and thoughts.++

If you do your training be prepared for peaks and troughs. Sometimes you will feel you will never reach the end but you will, just stick it out. Make sure you have a good support network in place, there will be many times when you need to laugh or cry with someone else. Also get used to the blood pressure machine, it will become your constant friend and companion for three years! I wish you all the luck in the world.
Happy Hunting
Annalisa

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