"On Yer Bike!" (Courrier - My Experience and Advice)

Member Name: hellyphant

Product:	Courrier - My Experience and Advice
Date:	26/04/02 (28061 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: um....good if you're superfit and can make you alot of money

Disadvantages: exhausting, gives you blisters all over your body, the pollution, the lack of contact with people, poor money if you're not fast enough

Me (the 'phant), in a rare moment of confidence: "I've made a decision. I'm quitting my office job and I'm going to spend the summer working as a bicycle courier."

The reaction?

Hysterical laughter vibrating through telephone receivers, disbelieving e-mails and numerous slaps on the back and pokes in the rib cage. "Um...yeah...best joke I've heard all day".

That was the me of 2 years ago. My temping agency had fixed me up with a job which started out as acting PA and ended up as 8 hours a day of filing and tea making. I was fed up. It was summer and it was hot and I wanted to be under the blue sky, not stuck in a dingy airless filing room surrounded by boxes and papers.

When I saw the advert in The Evening Standard, I didn't have to think twice. Me, the bicycle courier. It sounded perfect. I was due to go on holiday in the Autumn and was worried about baring my white wobbly body on the beach. A few months of cycling would sort all that out. I'd be tanned, toned and my pockets would be laden with £50 notes. (It's amazing how naive I can be sometimes!)

Bicycle couriers seem to be everywhere these days. If you ever go to London's West End, you'll no doubt spot numerous couriers zooming in and out of the traffic.

Open the newspaper, like I did, and you'll find an abundance of courier vacancies. A simple phone call, an interview date set, and off you go.

I set off for my interview feeling very nervous. I'm used to dressing up for interviews. But this was different. I had to show that I was fit and sporty. So tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt it was. I looked like a scruffy wreck by the time I arrived. I'd had to cycle (to show my cycling abilities) from my home in Kentish Town to East Acton where the company was based - (and if you don't know London, I can assure you the journey is a very long and complicated one). On arrival, I trie
d to disguise my out of breath puffing and blowing and I powdered up my glowing red face. I AM FIT, I kept telling myself. I go to aerobics once a week and I used to cycle a lot when I lived in Lancaster. I AM FIT.

The interview was very informal. It was held in a huge warehouse, and I was asked to take a seat - on an old bike tyre! I was asked a series of questions, and I'm ashamed to admit that most of my answers were lies.

"Cycling all day is very tiring. Do you think you?ll be able to cope?"

"How much cycling have you done in the past?"

"How much exercise do you do in an average week?"

"How good is your knowledge of London roads?"

I was then asked to complete a small written test. I gulped in terror as it was handed to me.

The test consisted of a series of geographical questions about London. For example, is (a) north, east, south or west from (b), and describe the quickest way of getting from (a) to (b). Now, for some of these questions it's quite easy to hazard a guess at the answers. But for others - well, if you don?t really know your geography (like me), you're going to have real problems. Horrible memories flashed before my eyes of the shameful 27% I once got in a geography test at school.

My test was then marked by the interviewer. And I was told that most of my answers were worryingly incorrect. And that I didn't really look all that fit and healthy. Rude cow, I thought. But she was willing to give me a chance, seeing as I was so enthusiastic and confident I would be good at the job.

I was given a clipboard, a large waterproof shoulder bag (for carrying all those packages) and told I had to hand over a £40 deposit, which would be returned to me once I had completed my first week of work. I was also offered a company radio - for the cost of £60. But I told them I would be fine with my mobile.

**So, what exac
tly does a courier do?**

Well, at 8.30 every morning, before I left home, I was told I would have to call up the company to find out where my first job would be. Each courier is given a number. I was 270. So when I rang up, that's how I had to introduce myself. No, "Hi, it's me Helen, how are you doing today?". It was more of a "270 reporting for duty" kind of thing. God, it was like being in the army!

I would then be sent to a random office in a random part of London to collect a mysterious package of some kind. I would be told to deliver this package to a particular address - and off I would go. The package bulging in my bag - constantly reminding me that I could be carrying a bomb or a wad of stolen bank notes or a mutilated body part. Well, you never know what's underneath all that packaging do you!

Once I had successfully delivered the package I had to get a signature and a small form was completed. All this had to be handed in to my employer at the end of every week, as proof of the number of jobs I had completed.

Normally, on a busy day, my mobile would be constantly ringing: 350 from Courier Headquarters informing me, 270, of the location of my next delivery.

**And the MONEY?**

For each package delivered I earned £2.50. I know that sounds like a pathetic amount - even less than the minimum wage, but I was told in my interview that it was more than possible to deliver several packages an hour. I totted up a few numbers in my head (the best a non-mathematician can) and concluded that several months on my bike would make me a very rich young lady. Well £10 an hour isn't bad is it. Hmmmmmm, let's keep on dreaming...


**What EQUIPMENT will I need?**

Well, obviously you're going to need a BIKE. Some courier companies supply their employees with company bikes. But mine didn't. I had my own though, although it was second hand and not a particul
arly good make. Fine for leisurely Sunday cycles down by the canal, but not really up to working an 8-hour day.

It's a good idea to take your bike for a little check up before you start working. You'll want to get your tyres pumped up, make sure your lights are in working order and most importantly, ensure your brakes do actually stop your bike from moving. You don't want to be the cause of a 10-car-pile- up.

Buy a little water bottle attachment, if you don't have one already that is. Cycling is a thirsty business and water bottles will weigh your bag down (and sometimes they leak!)

A HELMET is a necessity. I personally hate wearing them; they make my hair all sweaty and leave a horrid red rim around my forehead. But you will be riding on fairly busy roads, so appearances have to put to one side, I'm afraid.

You'll be leaving your bike unattended and sometimes in fairly dodgy parts of town. So you're going to need a very good BIKE LOCK. I had two, but then I'm obsessively paranoid by nature.

Cycling itself is healthy. But cycling on busy roads for 8 hours day, inhaling car fumes, is not. To avoid breathing in all that horrid city pollution, I'd advise you to purchase an AIR FILTER MASK. This will cover your mouth and nose, filtering out all the dirt and grime in the atmosphere, whilst still allowing you to breathe. Yes, it's hot and sticky and you'll start to resemble Michael Jackson, but it's worth it. Honest.

Getting your CLOTHES right is a tad tricky. If you're a serious cyclist, you'll already have the 'proper' gear - like those sexy skin-tight cycling shorts that show off all your bumps and bulges and the trendy cyclist's trainers that do all kinds of incredible things. 'Proper' gear is expensive though, and if you really can't face forking out on clothes that are going to make you look hideous, then don't. I just wore tr
acksuit bottoms and various trampy looking t-shirts. It wasn't ideal. I'm sure it would have been easier to cycle if I'd been willing to wear the old leggings I hid under my bed 5 years ago. But I just couldn't. Oh, and don?t forget your waterproofs.

You'll definitely need SUNTAN LOTION if you're going to be outside all day. I never bothered. Despite the fact that I have very fair skin and the slightest sunray turns my skin a shocking shade of red, I convinced myself that this time it would be different and that I would eventually tan. Needless to say, I suffered for my sins and was in agony for weeks afterwards.

It's also a good idea to wear SUNGLASSES. It can be difficult to see when the sun's glaring in your face, and that can be pretty dangerous when you're cycling on a busy road.

**The requirements of a good (and happy) courier**

I was neither of these, despite my initial confidence. I thought it would be easy, leisurely cycling around London, the wind in my hair and the sun on my face. In reality, it was complete and utter hell.

1) You really do need to be SUPER FIT. At the end of my first day, I thought I would never be able to walk again. I had blisters all over my backside and across my thighs and I felt as though someone had beaten me black and blue. It's all very well lying in your interview and convincing yourself that you're fit. But if in reality, you're a slumped in front of the TV kind of person, couriering is going to kill you.

2) You need to be FAST. Speed comes hand in hand with fitness, and as I was pretty unfit, I was also very very slow. In order to actually make a profit out of couriering, speed is a necessity. Never mind 4 jobs an hour, I was lucky to manage 1.

Working hours were supposed to 8.30 - 5.30, but if you're on a job, you had to carry on until you'd finished. On my first day, I didn't get home until 9.3
0 and I was so exhausted I just collapsed in a heap in the hallway.

3) You need a good and thorough AREA KNOWLEDGE. I'd only just moved to London and I just about knew how to get to the West End from my house, but that was it. I didn?t have a clue about anywhere else. I was sure it wouldn't be a problem though. I brought an A to Z with me every day and thought that would be enough. It wasn't though. A to Z?s don't tell you the quickest ways to get to places. They don't tell you which roads are blocked and which are congested with traffic. And reading them takes time. Time you can't afford to be wasting.

4) You need to be a CONFIDENT CYCLIST. I'd always enjoyed cycling in the countryside, and felt I was fairly confident riding on the roads aswell. I'd had driving lessons and I'd passed my theory test with distinction, so I knew all about roundabouts and rights of way, and what various road signs meant. Hey, I was an expert.

Except I wasn't. Being a bicycle courier in London means riding on very busy roads. And busy means scary. At one point, I found myself on what I'm sure was a motorway. (I have no idea where it was, so I can't give road names). The cars were zooming back and forth in 4 different lanes down a very steep hill and into a long dark tunnel. Cycling down there, next to zooming cars and screeching motorbikes, not knowing where I was or where I was going - it was one of the scariest few moments of my life.

5) You need to be TOUGH. I burst into tears several times when I was a courier. Tears of exhaustion, tears of frustration and tears of indescribable pain (well, have you ever had a blister on your bottom??)

6) You need to be totally UNCONCERNED ABOUT YOUR APPEARANCE. Even with your helmet and your filter mask on, the dirt still finds it's cunning way to your face, and arms, and legs. When I got home and looked in the mirror after my first nightmare o
f a day, I was horrified. My face was black - literally. I was covered in exhaust fumes, road grit, and even came across several dead flies. Then when I'd finally scrubbed all the dirt away, I discovered several layers of peeling sunburnt skin - of the purple variety.

***

If you're a super fit, super tough athlete, and you still want to be a bicycle courier, I'd advise you to look around at different courier companies before you make your final choice. The courier industry is crying out for employees so don't feel you have to go with the first to offer you a job.

The company I worked for was particularly bad. Yes, White City Courier's, you know who you are! Firstly, I was sent from one end of London to the other - cycling a ridiculous number of miles to get to each job. Ok, the fact that I was slow and incompetent didn't help, but most companies (as I found out afterwards) do only concentrate on one particular area. Obviously, this means more packages being delivered an hour - therefore more money in your pocket.

Secondly, don't trust companies (like mine) that demand you pay them a deposit. I only worked for 2 ½ days (I very tearfully quit and went home to lie in the bath for a week) - and was told that because I hadn't worked a full week, I wasn't entitled to my deposit. The following week I was then sent a letter demanding that I pay a total of £25.00 for the loss of the bag they had given me. A bag that I distinctly remember handing to a security man standing at the gates. I was told that if they didn't receive a cheque immediately, they would send me a courts summons and I would be charged a hefty fine. My boyfriend, even more furious than I was at this point, grabbed the phone, rang the courier company and argued and argued until eventually they gave in and decided to "let me off".

Some companies are also far more generous with their wages. You should be earning
a fair bit more than £2.50 per package - even if you're capable of doing several in an hour. If you're quick and efficient and the right person for the job, then it's possible to make a great deal of money being a bicycle courier.

***

I know not everyone has had such bad experiences with courier companies. I see plenty of very happy looking couriers around the centre of London. Admittedly, they look nothing like me. They're always dressed in the correct clothes and look as though they run the marathon every year, and probably swim across several oceans on a regular basis aswell. For normal people like you and me though, a single day as a bicycle courier will be enough to leave us longing for that comfortable office chair.

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