Not for Everyone, But Rewarding for Many (Homemaker)

Member Name: shroud

Product:	Homemaker
Date:	01/07/07 (150 review reads)
Rating:

Advantages: provides an oasis of relaxatiion, done with true craftmanship garners a lot of respect

Disadvantages: hard work and the clock sometimes never stops, some people think you watch Trisha for hours

I know this one might provoke some controversery, so please remember this is an OPINION.

When I was a little girl of about four or five, I can recall this being the time when like most children, I looked about myself and first consciously thought about what I wanted to be when I grew up. Being that it was 1973-75, most will assume this meant I had very limited prospects as a female. This is not so! Women had burnt the bra years before and declared themselves free to be whatever they wanted. Women were in the armed forces, entering law practices, becoming surgeons, you name it. Many women were happy to be liberated from the role of housewifery, but there was still acceptance in society for the role if it was wanted. And, oh, how I wanted! The toys for me were toy kitchens, doll babies, prams, dolls houses, and the myriad other role playing toys that let me be a little wife and mother in my imagination. Then came the 80’s.

As time drew closer to the close of the 70’s, the subtle phenomenon that was the 80’s began to emerge. It was flash the cash time, and people fell to the excess like it was going out of style. Bigger was better...hair, TVs, stereos, cars, you name it. Having a good time was also the thing to do. As you might surmise, this led to a LOT of debt, and by 1984, many wives HAD to work or else they could not keep up the credit payments and people you did not wish to see came knocking. By then, an attitude shift had also occurred. Not only did your THINGS have to bigger and better, but so did your job. I had always expected myself to go to university for further education, but had always thought I would do it, then become a housewife, or else marry and take distance and extension courses. I wanted to educate myself so I knew more, not in order to get a flash job so I could pay lots of credit card debt I racked up based upon my income. My teachers and guidance counsellor had a right conniption fit when they heard my desires. I had it explained to me that just as the advertisements from the banks said, that no one could manage on a single income anymore. Mortgages cost more, and you HAD to have a credit card and use it or you had no credit rating.blah blah blah. So it was that it was decided “with” me that as I did well in languages, I should look at using them. So it was that I joined the Army and became a linguist.

I have to say I rather enjoyed that stint, but I still wanted to be a housewife deep down. Imagine my joy when the 90’s were drawing to a close, that I met a man who loved me, and I him, and we decided to get married……though we each had a single identical proviso. I was to stay home, and be a homemaker! YAY!!!!!! He works long hours all week so to make things work out best, he really needed to know I was here running the household stuff while he did the working stiff thing and moved up the ladder, free of worrying about what to eat, when to squeeze in time to buy it and cook it, with laundry problems, and all that. He had also spent a bit of time as a latchkey kid with his siblings, and did not think it necessarily the most optimal situation.

And so it was I became a housewife, at long last! Doing the housework and preparing the meals, and completing the shopping took on new meaning. These were no longer mere extra chores to be done around my job……it was my job. And if you wonder at the homemaker tag, it is the generic term so that it encompasses househusbands, as some fellows are more domestically oriented than their wives. Nor is making a home just about cooking and cleaning, oh, no. being a housewife or house husband is a lot more than that. It is about not only making a neat and comfortable house and providing clean clothes and laundry, but being responsible for creating that intangible ambience that says HOME when you walk in the door. It is all the small touches…from choosing just the right rug to just the right room scent and so on and so forth.

Now I can imagine a lot of you are shaking your head a bit sadly at this point and thinking I have watched way too much Anthea Turner and become Stepfordised along the way somehow. I assure you I have not! I look upon myself as a craftsman, and I take great pride in my work. Guests walk into my home and feel immediately cosy and at ease, hospitality is ready on a moments notice. Yes, I really do keep homemade cakes and tarts ever at the ready just in case…they are in my Tupperware cake and pie keepers in the kitchen! I even get asked where on earth I got those cushions as they are too fab! Answer: I made them myself! My husband visibly relaxes as he walks up the path and gives a look of pure bliss when he enters and is greeted by the smell of fresh hot food and the sight of two clean children ready to greet him and assist with his bags so he can sit in his favourite comfy chair. The children too have learned responsibility and the things to be done when running a house, and are ready to pitch in at a moments notice; they are especially keen to tackle the recycling and help design the menus for the month. It’s not a show home, but it is clean, fairly tidy, and comfortable…a real home. This is THE house all the other kids want to come to when school lets out and they show up here as soon as they ditch their school gear and my two home educated children are actually proud about the things the kids say about our home.

I am surmising as well that some of my readers may be thinking that it is impossible to do this unless your spouse makes a fantastic wage. This is also not so. We eschewed a credit card and managed our bank accounts wisely, and only bought within our means. Our cars are paid with cash and are second hand, but are not old wrecks or anything. Our holidays are UK only and we take our older tourer caravan, though friends usually have a tent. We plan our menus a month in advance and buy the food and other necessities we need from the grocery store in one swoop. Neither anything drastic nor reasons to cry out fro privation; simply put, we live within his salary as a lorry driver, and doing so has meant we can own our own home, own our car, and have our holidays…all without debt. Being at home has also meant that we did not have to pay out for babysitting, au pairs, or whatever, nor did we have to pinch pennies to accommodate a second car or other travel arrangements for me to get to work, to the day care centre, etc, and come up short from expected cash when I had to take off work for sick kids or a shut childcare facility! Another plus has been that someone has always been home when needed for deliverymen, for workmen, etc, often meaning we could take advantage of cheaper rates as they were early to midweek daytime slots. It’s all about sensible budgeting, and this is something that should be adhered to regardless of job!

One of the things that cause most people to feel drudged when being at home is the misconception of their role. Getting a routine and parcelling out responsibility is a must. Just because you are at home does NOT make you the maid. You might do the laundry, but others must ensure it is in the correct place to get it washed, children and spouses can still find their way to the kitchen to put away plates and bowls, and so on. Nor does EVERY chore have to be done EVERY day. Vacuuming might have to if you have children and pets, but no one has to dust, mop, etc each and every room every single day. Keep it sensible and tidy as you do anything, and you will find you have time off like any other working stiff. This is your time to read, watch TV, etc. Be firm about it as unlike going out to work, you simply can’t punch the clock and go home to relax as home IS your work.

So if you are a person who thinks that you would like to have such a job, and are happy to be all domestic and go that extra mile to provide a homey atmosphere, understand that it is as much a lifestyle choice as it is a career choice. It is also one that these days is often undervalued thanks to our more modern create a consumer culture, and fuelled by the images of those few who are too lazy to work and don’t even keep a clean house (I know its not probably PC to mention such layabouts, but I don’t care as it is a stereotype I have to deal with!). It is also a choice that remains open to NOT be taken, the same as any other job. It all depends on what makes you feel fulfilled as a career choice, and what you expect from yourself and your other half in regards to feeling at home. If you DO wish to make this choice, I do still advise you pursue further education, and gain qualifications in a secondary paid employment field, just in case it is ever needed (such as from death, divorce, or some other calamity to the domestic status quo). Then be content, and do a really good job and be happy. Not all of us were meant to be doctors!

Summary: A time honoured profession that is seeing a new understanding and appreciation