Newest Review: ... I do want to eventually become a teaching assistant and its interesting to learn all the other roles into teaching, job interview tips e... more
Not for everyone
Member Name: catrocks03
Advantages: spending time with your children, no fighting over chores, being in control of the house
Disadvantages: being judged, can be hard at times financially
My boyfriend has traditional views on certain things- he believes I should stay at home until Tyler is 5. He also wants our 2nd child when Tyler is 5. I'm not so keen on the idea (theres no way I'm going to be out of work for 10 years) I see myself returning to work once Tyler gets his free nursery hours. For now though Tyler is 18 months and I'm enjoying it.
Being a stay at home Mother is nice for those who can afford it. It would be a lie to say we didn't struggle at times but we've found if I was to get a job then nursery fees would eat the majority of my wages. Being at home means I get to spend that 1:1 time with tyler, take him to baby groups and if he is ill and I am up half the night it doesnt matter so much because I can nap in the day when he does.
The "Job role" is pretty obvious:
Childcare- including educating and trips out
Managing recycling and rubbish
You get the gist!
I must admit there are times when I do need adult time. At the moment I'm doing a course which runs once a week called Ways Into Teaching. I do want to eventually become a teaching assistant and its interesting to learn all the other roles into teaching, job interview tips etc. Its just for 2 hours while my son goes to see his Nana, the fact it takes me 40 minutes to walk there shows how much I need it!
When I was pregnant I thought it would be easy the whole homemaker thing. I pictured myself with an immaculate house, pinny on, cakes baking in the oven and a happy smily baby. Ha-ha-ha. Obviously motherhood isn't so easy and there have been days when I've had to do all the chores once baby is in bed.
Also because my boyfriend basically sees me as at home all day he doesnt contribute to chores in the slightest so this can be hard sometimes but I see it as my current job to keep the house running and my toddler happy whereas its his job to provide money for the family.
The hardest bit of being a stay at home Mum for me was the newborn days! I had a colicy baby, an exhausted body and an unkept house. Luckily within a few months my son started to let me have a full 8 hours in bed per night and I got myself into a lovely little routine.
Socially being a stay at home Mum is also lovely. Me and my other half moved during my pregnancy back to his hometown. While he had his family and his friends I had nobody. It was incredibly isolating. His friends were lovely and I got on with them great but they weren't MY friends. Using net mums, facebook and baby groups I gradually built up my own network of friends and not working means I have time to socialise with them and give my child socialising time with their children too.
One of the best bits about not working at the moment for me is the amount that i can visit my family. The majority of my close family and friends all live back in Bournemouth which is where I'm originally from. I go back every 2-3 months for a week or so. Its around 150 miles away so its no easy trip and I'm lucky enough to have a Mother who can drive up to get me and bring me back. If I was working I wouldn't be able to see everyone nearly as much so I really appreciate being able to do this as I do miss them all!
One of the downsides of being a homemaker is some people really do judge you about it. They see you as somebody who is lazy and sits about with the kids all day, watching cbeebies and eating biscuits. They think you cant be bothered to work and live off benefits (which we don't at all, otherwise we'd have plenty more money!). You often get little comments like "So when are you planning on returning to work" or perhaps they'll mention vacancies they've seen. However I can see the otherside of this for working Mothers who are seen as selfish and "palming their children off to somebody else".
Being a homemaker is not for everyone. Many mums need to work for the sake of their sanity. I refer more to Mums because that is what most homemakers seem to be although I'm sure there are many stay at home Dads and also homemakers who are not parents so I apologise but am just drawing from my own experience! I dont think I'd be happy as a homemaker if my son was in nursery a good chunk of the day, nor if he was in school, I'm sure I'd run out of things to do!
Overall I love being a homemaker and having all these precious moments with my favourite person in the world. Its sad to some that my most fulfilling days are where I've got all my chores done, taken Tyler to the park AND made cakes but if it makes me happy then what is the problem?
Summary: It is not for everyone but if you're able to do it and want to do it then do it!