It's a dirty job - but someone's got to do it! (Milk Recorder)

Name: nikkisly

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Product:	Milk Recorder
Date:	18.09.01 (938 review reads)
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I'm not sure if what I do for a living can be called a 'career', but it is a job you may well frequently see advertised in your local paper, particularly if you live in the countryside. Maybe you've seen it in the past and wondered whether or not to apply.

I'm a Milk Recorder (also known as a Contractor or Field Technician) working in the dairy farming industry. I've been doing the job for around 12 years now, so I guess it must have some benefits - I'm just yet to discover them! (only joking, in case my boss happens to read this.)

Milk Recording is a service for dairy farmers which helps them to manage their herds efficiently and cost effectively. (By the way, it's also offered to farmers who milk sheep, goats and buffalo too.) Basically, a farmer gets two visits each month from a Field Technician who attends afternoon/evening milking, then again at morning milking on the following day. At each milking, a measured sample of milk is taken from every cow. These are then sent off for laboratory analysis for all sorts of things like fat, lactose and 'cells' and the farmer subsequently receives written analyses of the milk from each individual cow every month.

I am self employed. This means that I have to handle my own finances and submit a tax return every year. I pay my own National Insurance contributions, petrol, telephone bills etc, although I can claim a certain percentage of those payments back as legitimate business expenses. It also means that if I don't work, I don't get paid - something of a crisis during the recent Foot and Mouth epidemic when I wasn't permitted on farms for almost five months. I don't get sick pay or paid holidays either.

You need no special qualifications to do my job. (That isn't to say I don't have any qualifications - I have a First Class degree in Psychology and am nearing completion of a Masters Degree in Forensic Psychology.) So, what&
#39;s a nice girl like me doing in a job like this?

I suppose the main reason is that I like the freedom. I enjoy being self employed and being able to accept (or decline) as much work as I want. Part time works suits me at the moment. Many Milk Recorders combine the job with other part time jobs (I am a Market Researcher) and there is usually a chance to take on more farms if you want to increase your hours/income. There are always plenty of 'reliefs' to be done, covering for colleagues who are ill or on holiday. I like the flexibility too as, within reason (and with the farmers agreement, of course) I can alter the scheduled dates of my monthly visits to accommodate things like dental appointments or waiting in for deliveries.

I even like the early morning starts. You may shudder at the idea of getting up at 4.30 am (or earlier) but it has its compensations. Usually, by 9 o'clock, I'm relaxing after a hot shower, knowing that my day's work is done. And there is something truly awe inspiring about seeing the beautiful sunrises as I drive to work each day, not to mention the wildlife who are out and about pre-dawn. Deer, badgers, otters, foxes, hares, rabbits and squirrels are all regular sights and on one memorable occasion, I even saw a 'genuine' ghost!

So, being able to function first thing in the morning is a necessity, as are a reliable car and a good alarm clock (or two!)A sense of humour is essential, plus a pleasant manner, punctuality and the patience of a saint. (I always make sure I have a good book, a flask of coffee and a bar of chocolate in the car as there are often delays on farm when the farmer has totally forgotten you are coming.) A good work ethic is vital too. Farmers pay heavily for my services and, especially in today's uncertain climate, should feel that they are getting value for their money. I need to be accurate, professional and cheerful - and also invisible so that the farmers an
d cows routine is disrupted as little as possible. A strong bladder is a must, especially in cold weather. And finally you need a reliable washing machine and a brand of extra stong washing powder - a husband without a sense of smell is a definite asset too!

It's not a job for the fastidious. If I say that I work in a 'pit' which is maybe three feet below the backsides of 20 or so cows you may get the general idea of one of the major hazards of the job. Hygiene is all important. And there are other physical hazards too. I've slipped a disc bending to take a milk sample at an awkward angle and fallen flat on my face numerous times. I've been kicked, pushed and butted - although admittedly, not usually by the farmer.

It's boiling hot in the summer and plagued by flies In the winter it's freezing cold. Often you drive through thick fog, ice, snow or torrential rain to get to a farm only to find everything frozen solid when you get there.

My first duty on arriving at a farm in the afternoon is to update all the herd paperwork. Every 'event' - be it a cow calving, dying or being served by a bull - is entered onto my laptop computer. Next comes the mucky bit, when I actually have to get my hands (and most other bits) dirty.

As each cow is milked, the milk is held in a huge glass jar. As soon as the cow finishes giving its milk, I note how much it has given, agitate the milk in the jar to mix it using an air bleed, release part of it, take a sample which I place in a plastic pot which I have previously numbered with the cows identifying mark, release the rest of the milk and leave the machine rady for the farmer to put on the next cow. Measure, agitate, release, sample, release... simplicity itself, isn't it?

Except the procedure for doing all this is different on every farm and involves pushing and pulling a variety of switches and levers in different combinations. (I might be overweight
and generally unfit, but my arm muscles are so strong I could probably arm wrestle a gorilla and win!)

After morning milking, all the milk yields for each cow are entered onto the laptop and the farmer then gets a print out of everything I have done during my visit.

I once calculated exactly what I did on one of my bigger farms. Each milking involved walking four miles up and down the confined space of the milking parlour, avoiding both the farmer and his herdsman (who,often as not, were walking in the opposite direction), all the milking equipment and the various emissions ejected by the cows. At the same time, I did around 300 squats to collect the milk samples.

There are few opportunities for promotion. Above me is the Area Manager and, while I could have applied for that job several times over the past few year, I prefer the hands on experience of being on farms and meeting people. Usually very nice people, although there have been some who were, shall we say, not so nice. I get paid a set amount for each farm visit which is dependant on the size of the herd, plus a few pence for every cow actually milked on the day. Out of this I have to pay all my own expenses so I'm never going to be a millionaire - but that's something that applies to almost everyone working in agriculture nowadays.

Anything else I can tell you about my job? Well, occasionally I have to attend meetings and training sessions and I have also helped to train other people. I don't work on weekends or Bank Holidays - although I have done at times, without any overtime pay, of course. I sometimes have to do other jobs such as delivering or collecting sample boxes for which I get paid a standard fee. And, in twelve years, I have made some wonderful friends.

Milk Recording is not a job for everyone but I count myself really lucky. I love my job (well, for most of the time anyway) and get a tremendous amount of job staisfaction from doing it.
Next time you see an advert in the paper, why not give it a go?

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