I write this not as a teacher, but as someone who is married to one. Anyway, she would never have found the time to write it!

I suppose, if Dooyoo had a Members Advice section on Good Partners, I should file this under a "Never Marry A Teacher, Unless You are One" category

Under no circumstances ask the usual "Good day at work, dear?" - I did once and I DIDN'T get away with it! You do, however learn to nod in all the right places.

Another no-no is to BECOME a teacher yourself unless you enjoy:-

Having a jolly good moan.

Paying through the nose for holidays, because, guess what - yours are during school holidays.

Sniffing Copydex. Don't even bother, it smells of pee.

Having 8-year-olds telling you to **** off, and having no sanction that means anything to counter such behaviour.

Having parents tell you that they are not happy with the standard of language in the school, after their own 8-year-old told them to **** off.

A 50-50 chance of having to put up with completely shiftless caretakers. In my wife's experience, they fall into two categories. The complete "diamond", and the idle bastard. The middle ground seems to elude the education system.

Photocopying, or worse, dealing with other forms of copier that you are supposed to reload with a carcinogen, or depleted uranium oxide, or something equally hazardous!

Having to work when the heating has failed (again) or having to work through an “Indian Summer” with the heating on. Thanks to the repainting done during the summer break, ALL the valves will be jammed full on.

Shouting as an Olympic event

Working throughout the weekend on "planning", marking, licking-and-sticking and other meaningful activities like cutting wobbly lines around kid’s work before mounting the said wobbly bits onto backing paper, OH YES, and learning to
jump through the latest governmental hoop which will have changed again by this time next year.

Hearing about your profession on 50% of news bulletins.

As the ad campaign ran "Everyone remembers a good teacher" - unfortunately, they also remember where you live.

Make no mistake, the behavioural problems that we all envision as being unique to teenagers are here to stay in 7 year-olds.

My wife's school's staff consists of Newly Qualified teachers in their first job, half of whom are thinking of jacking it in, career changers who are thinking of changing back, and experienced teachers who, despite the damage they will do to their pension, are seriously considering supply work (or anything remotely legal) to get out from under the ever-growing class and management responsibilities.

Being expected to "put on a show at Christmas" because as we know “the kids get such a lot out of it”, and whilst on the subject of Christmas, the very worst job of all......

Organising the staff "do"! Ideally, you need a venue that is foreign and is not foreign, is up-town but local, and which is pricier than usual but cheap. You know, somewhere where you can push the boat out and haul it back in again at the same time!

To be fair, a lot of this depends on the area you work in and the leadership at the specific school.

As I see it, the big danger, after the euphoria of breezing through your interview (ask yourself why this was) is to find that you become one of the disillusioned NQT's wondering why the hell you didn't go into whatever it was your Dad suggested.

How you are supposed to research the vital subject of where to grace with your obvious talents, before applying for a specific post is anyone's guess. Schools are hardly likely to wear their behavioural problems like a badge - I suppose "challenging post" would be a clue thou
gh!

My own experience of working (in Safety Education) with 11 year-olds in a different borough tells a vastly different story, as most have been great fun to work with, especially when it's something different and they want to do it. My wife is now looking for a job there too!