Newest Review: ... cancer and my dad and Popeye tried to run the butcher shop and they kept throwing beef fat at each other and making fake mustaches for th... more
Not a career but a legacy.
Supermarket Retail Manager
Member Name: Cammij
Supermarket Retail Manager
Date: 14/01/02, updated on 15/01/02 (268 review reads)
Advantages: People need me, I am a part of our cultural tapestry
Disadvantages: I don't make much money, long hours
See, after the war when the United States government began to settle some of the foreign former hostiles who had served the United States military after WW2 they asked my grandfather what line of work he wanted to pursue. Since he had been quite literally fighting his entire adult life, from age 19 to 34 he had no other career options in his youth nor training. He decided that he wanted to have a butcher shop in a village setting in a part of America that had lots of Germanic people. So he took off his uniform and put on the apron and became the proud proprietor of the Metzgerei Kiel in a small town in suburban Toledo Ohio.
So I have known since I was four years old that I would someday replace the beloved man behind the counter at the meat shop. I fondly recall sitting there all day long eating homemade beef jerky and watching my grandfather patiently explain the art of butchery to me while showing me what customer service meant. By the time I was 9 I was able to cut beef and made all the ground sirloin hamburger patties.
My mom's brother wanted nothing to do with the meat shop and became a diesel mechanic and my mom of course wanted nothing to do with it either. Popeye was a rotten, no good humpty back idiot who refused to honor our traditions and take over the shop instead he does some kind of auditing of ISO 14000 safety stuff and travels all over. One time my grandpa went on vacation when his brother caught cancer and my dad and Popeye tried to run the butcher shop and they kept throwing beef fat at each other and making fake mustaches for themselves from Calves Liver. It really hurt me to watch them having no respe
ct for meat. Now I do not even let them idiots in the shop. I am serious. There is a sign on the door, in German and English that says I have the right to refuse service to anyone and I enforce it with them.
So what do I do? I try to be a good old fashioned butcher shop where people can come in and get high quality prime aged beef customed cut to their specifications. In this day and age people still value being able to watch their dinner get hewn off a huge hock of beef. I also make several varieties of all beef sausages, meatloaves all ready in the disposable aluminum pan to bake at home and I also am "reputed" to have venison for sale to a few select customers. I dress a lot of deer, maybe some of it poached, and I take payment in game which I sell to my favorite customers.
I strive to make each and every customer who steps up to my counter the center of the universe and they like that. I try not to cheat them and that is probaly why some people drive 50 miles to come see me. I also do all the steaks for a pretty famous local chophouse. My secret is I sell all corn fed beef raised by the local Amish. My meat starts off so much better and then I cut it to an eighth inch and serve it with a smile.
A few years back I forgot who I was and what I did and started with a TV commercial on the local piped TV station and then I put up a website. Then I got lazy and tried to get away from working 6 days a week 7 to 7. I started selling gourmet meatballs in sauce and Tofu and then I was selling Ostrich meat and Beefalo. My other grandparents came in there and admonished me and asked me who the #@!^ I thought I was. So I quit the Website and fancy trendy butcher pants with a print of peppers I was wearing and went back to the basics.
I do not make much money. I have a flat on top of my butcher shop and I have a big screen TV and I hope to be able to buy a nice waterbed if I get a girlfriend. Some people do not get a choice
about their life. I wish I made more money but I am the butcher. I can't do anything about that. I have to honor my family and traditions by being the best butcher I can be.
Sometimes I get mad and think about what I would really want to do if I had a choice. I would like to work at King Henry's Feast or Medieval Times in Orlando. I think I could be a good King. Most people want to be a knight but I think they are no where as prestigous as the King. Plus I do not want to sword fight. I saw some crazy stuff done with swords in Bosnia by some guy named angry Udo who was mad at the world because his girlfriend left him for his mom and he lost his mind. He was trained at a school in Bremen that teaches kids to be like circus performers and stuff and he had a job at a castle swordfighting as entertainment and then we went to fight and he got himself a sword and did crazy stuff and it is not pleaseant memories so I want to shy away from that. But I wish I could work at a dinner show. Even Pirates feast. But who would run the butcher shop?
I only made 19,000 dollars last year and I need all my dooyooo reads just to pay my car insurance on my old datsun but dammit, people know who I am. People will be like, "Let's have a party, let's get steaks from the German Butchershop in Hessville" People count on me. I am important. I know I lie a lot about working for the railroad because I wish I did. I had a trainset. Lots of railroaders come in my shop because it is close to Walbridge yard and I give them the best cuts and they give me railroad hats and timetables and stuff that they would otherwise sell on E-Bay. People like Marlboro Max, who is the guy in the audience whisteling real loud during the bass solo of "Rime of the ancient Mariner" on Iron Maiden's Live after Death album which was recorded in Toledo Ohio.
A lot of people would say my life sucks and sometimes I agree but I know I am somebody speci
al and people can and do rely on me. They know I sell good beef and pork. I always try to make everyone feel special. I know who to give a free sample of my new creation to or a know who would like a nice big bone for their dog. I know that on Thursdays Frau Hemminger plays bingo and always needs two meatloaves (mit viel Zwiebeln) for her family but on Sundays she needs my best roast but on the last Saturday of the month her son visits and she needs a nice T-bone for him. See I know this about everyone and if I wasn't around they would have to go to a supermarket and buy frozen meat wrapped in inpersonal plastic. I know I don't have a fancy title or college degrees and can tell about finances and art but people need me and like me. I guess that is good enough. I hope so. For now I will be the King of my butcher shop and command attention and respect by giving my loyal customers the best service and value that I possibly can. Thank you for hearing my story.
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